Broken
by DarkSecrets3
Summary: This is book 2 of missing piece you don't need to read the first one to understand this, a short summary will be given. Taylor and Donnie are starting to fight. And Taylor was certain that Donnie was her missing piece but with them getting captured and Donnie getting tortured by Shredder and with what happens next, Taylor's not so sure. Please enjoy and review!
1. Missing piece review

**Missing piece review**

Okay so for those of you who **haven't ** read my first story Missing piece, continue reading. For those of you who have read Missing piece, you can go onto the next chapter.

So first of all welcome to my story! Today I'll be explaining and/or reviewing my first story for those of you who take an interest in my second story but don't feel like going back to read my first. So here is the need to know basics of my first story that you missed.

It's told through the point of view of a 14 year old girl named Taylor. Broken is told through her point of you, much like missing piece. Anyway, Taylor has two best friends names Lily and John. They were all in the doughnut shop one day, when across the street Taylor noticed that Murakami's was getting robbed. She decided to go help but Lily and John did not go with her.

Taylor ended up getting chased by the purple dragons and of course, got rescued by the turtles. They had dragged her in the sewer, and she got a concussion and passed out. Taylor awoke and then befriended the turtles after some freaking out. Donnie treated her head and she had to stay with the turtles over night because of her concussion. Donnie stayed up with all night and the two of them became really close.

Early in the morning, Shredder, the foot, and the krang burst in the lair. Master Splinter grabbed Taylor and ran out of their while the turtles stayed and fought back. The turtles ended up getting chased from their home and now they all have to stay in a different part of the sewer, which they called their temporary home. When they arrived there, Leo passed out the floor because he was severely injured.

Taylor continued to visit the turtles for about a week, and all this time Leo had been unconscious. Then her parents started to get suspicious and grounded her due to the thought that they found her bike by the pawn shop. But that was the closes man hole cover to the turtles. Taylor's parents thought she was part of a street gang and that's why she grounded her. Also, Taylor's friends were mad because she kept ditching them after work. She never went to the doughnut shop anymore and that got her friends angry, thinking they've been replaced.

Taylor couldn't tell her friends or parents about the turtles, so she kept their secret. This resulting the grounding and losing her two best and only friends. But Taylor didn't stay locked in her room for long, Donnie had appeared on her window sill with news about Leo and that they needed her help. Taylor of course went with Donnie and helped Leo. His wounds got infected and needed to be cleaned, Donnie was not able to do it because he didn't have any supplies. Taylor on the other hand did.

When Donnie returned her home, she explained how she was grounded and how she wouldn't be able to go see them for a while. But Donnie promised to come get her every night so they could see each other. Right then, Donnie and Taylor kissed. Taylor explained it as 'a force that was holding them together.' When the kiss ended Donnie zoomed out of the window without saying a word.

Getting freaked out, Donnie broke his promise and never returned for Taylor for two weeks. Taylor then decided to run away from her home and she went to stay with the turtles. They turtles said yes with open arms and Taylor would stay with them for as long as she needed. Leo was now awake but rarely talked. His brothers took him out on walks to stretch his legs. One day when returning from a walk, Splinter was gone. Turns out he's been taken by the krang and Shredder whom are now working together to defeat the turtles.

Taylor successfully finds out that Splinter is being held at TCRI and when they get him back, he decides to train Taylor as a kunoichi. When Donnie hears this news at first he is thrilled but then he seems kind of worried. Taylor didn't know why but after a few weeks Splinter tells Taylor that April, Donnie's former crush, left them less then a year ago to join the foot clan. It is assumed that that is the reason for Donnie's fear/concerns to why Taylor is training as a ninja, because last time their friend/his crush left him to be evil and he doesn't want that to happen with Taylor.

Regardless Taylor keeps training as a ninja. But she fears that her love for Donnie will not work out due to his traumatic experience in the past. So she keeps her feelings a secret from Donnie. She then learns that Donnie likes her back, but now it's even harder to keep her feelings a secret. She promised Mikey that she wouldn't tell Donnie about her love for him because Mikey is afraid that Donnie will get heart broken again.

After a few months of training, Taylor, the turtles and Master Splinter decides to go attack Shredder before he can do them any harm. They fight in the basement of TCRI and Taylor ends up facing off against April, who nicknamed Taylor 'Princess' And called Donnie 'Lover boy.' Taylor, without a weapon, improvises and grabs a pipe, and knocks April out then goes off to fight a krang. April isn't defeated yet and quickly goes after Taylor again, attempting to kill her. Taylor doesn't notice April sneaking up on her, but Donnie does. He rushes off to help Taylor and saves her. April ends up dropping her katana and fights with her bare hands.

It's not long after until a foot ninja throws April back her weapon but April doesn't notice. Taylor and Donnie are now on the ground with April leaning over them. Taylor thinks that it's over, but April katana ends up flying into her neck, killing April. Taylor nor Donnie can believe she's dead. Donnie crawls over to April to see if she's really dead. And sure enough she is. Even though Donnie lost all interest her, he still devastated that she's dead and cries by her dead body. Taylor goes over to Donnie and comforts him but Donnie keeps saying how no one will ever love him. Taylor couldn't stand to hear Donnie go on so that's when she confesses her feelings for him.

Donnie, almost forgetting about April, says that he likes her two. So the two of them hug then get up to join their family, they had won the fight! Shredder and his men had flee. Even though they had one the fight, injuries still occurred. Mikey who was injured could not stand on his own so he had the help of Raph. Splinter was injured as well with his fur stained red. Donnie had a huge gash going across his eye and onto his cheek. Turns out Donnie had been injured worst then appeared and falls to the floor shaking. Leo then leaves Master Splinter to Taylor and goes to help Donnie. They then all rush home.

The next morning, everyone turns out to be okay. Except that Mikey had a dislocated ankle but was treated by Donnie. Donnie on the other hand had a bandage around his forehead and cheek to cover his gash. And his eye was all red and puffy. But that didn't stop Donnie from inventing a healing gel that could heal cuts in seconds. It took a while to make, so between that period of time Donnie had asked Taylor out on a date. She of course said yes.

They went on their date, a romantic dinner that Donnie had put together with Mikey as the waiter. They then danced to Taylor's favourite slow song and when they were finished, Taylor wanted to kiss but it didn't happen. When they returned home, Taylor thanked Donnie for the night but Donnie didn't leave her room. That's when they kissed.

The next day the healing cream was finished. After some convincing, Donnie tested it on Taylor. Resulting that it works but stings a little. Donnie then treats all his brothers with the gel but barely had enough for himself. Taylor convinces him to use it and she treats him herself. Now Donnie's gash had merely turned into a cut.

Now, every Friday night Taylor goes to her parents house for a visit because she was feeling homesick. And every Saturday night Taylor and Donnie go on a date. For example, their second date was that Donnie took her topside to see some fireworks. That will be an important detail in this story ( Broken.)

After they've been doing this for about a month, Taylor decides that it's time for her parents to meet the turtles. Now a while back, I forgot to mention that Lily and John had met and befriended the turtles. John connecting with Mikey the most and Lily with Raph. They were also at Taylor's parents house for the weekly visits.

It took some convincing but the turtles agreed to meet Taylor's parents and her brothers, Mark (older) and Conner (younger.) The visit didn't start off so well but after a little while, everyone started to click and began talking in their own little conversation. Raph, Lily and Mark started to chat while John, Mikey and Conner talked as well. Donnie talked to Taylor's dad and Leo to her mom. During these conversations, Taylor manages to pull Donnie aside and tell him that she wants to tell her parents that they're dating.

After an hour the turtles decide to leave but Taylor and Donnie stay behind to make their announcement. His brothers don't stay due to the fact that they already know. When Taylor tells her parents the news, they don't handle it very well. But Taylor doesn't care, she then turns to Donnie and says...

" He's my boyfriends...and I love him." That's when Taylor first says that she loves Donnie and not just likes him. Donnie then says that she loves her too. All this time Taylor parents say nothing, so Taylor and Donnie decided to leave. The story ends with Taylor thinking to herself and she says ( in her head) that Donnie is her missing piece.

Another VERY IMPORTANT detail that I forgot to mention was that back at TCRI, when Taylor told Donnie that she likes him. Donnie responded with 'me too.' Taylor was confused but Donnie clarifies that he likes her too. And now the words 'me too' are very special to Donnie and Taylor and sorta like their special words that they say to each other during sentimental moments. The words 'me too' was the beginning of their relationship.

Okay so that's all you really need to know. If your now interested to read my first story, you can find it here...

s/10085123/1/Missing-piece

So I hope this summary helped and if during any time your confused, feel free to ask me. But as for now, your free to go enjoy my second story! So please, enjoy!

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Character description 

**Taylor: **Decent height girl, around the same height as Mikey but not as tall as Raph. She has brown hair which she usually wears in a ponytail but sometimes wears in down. Her eyes are a blue-grey colour that sometimes look green in certain light. She's a smart girl that resembles Donnie a little bit but isn't quite as good with machines. Friends with Lily and John and the turtles. Dating Donnie, and loves him very much. Use to work at a coffee shop called 'Fill me up Coffee Shop' but now is training as a Kunoichi.

**Lily:** Is a somewhat short girl, shorter then Taylor. Has blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She best friends with John and Taylor, seems to have a special connection with Raph. Possibilities for relationship? Works at a nail saloon.

**John: **Is a taller boy, about the same height as Raph, maybe an inch taller. As dark brown hair with green eyes. He's best friends with Lily and Taylor and has a good connection with Mikey. He loves comic books, and works at a comic book store. Is described as his 'dream job.'

**Antonio: **Antonio was Taylor's dad's best friend but they had a fight a few years back. He continues to help Taylor with supplies, food, and money that she needs to survive down in the sewer. Average weight and height for a grown man, possibly of the beefier side. Is Italian/Canadian and owns Antonio's pizza. The turtles favourite place to buy pizza. Not a major character

**Evil April: **Looks like April but much more sly and sneaky. She now wears an outfit of black with some metal on her. Looks a lot like Karai.

**Harriet: **Harriet is Taylor's mother. She has brown wavy hair though usually wears it up. She has blue eyes like and works as a nurse. Is very proper and neat.

**Jerry: **Jerry is Taylor's Father. He is a tall man and has short brown hair, a darker shade. His eyes are a pale blue/green and he works as a mechanic.

**Mark: **Mark is Taylor's 17 year old older brother. He's tall and skinny and loves to tease his younger siblings. Mark has brown shaggy hair and pale green eyes. Is not employed

**Conner: **Conner is Taylor's 6 year old younger brother. He's rather short but is fully of spirit. He has beautiful blue eyes and a light brown hair, could be considered dirty blonde.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_* One week earlier*_

" I don't know Donnie. Are you sure with these kinds of atoms, the electrons have the negative charge and the protons have the positive charge? I always thought it was the other way around." I doubted Donnie's theory.

" No, you see an atom is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They protons and neutrons are in the centre of the atom, making up the nucleus, and the electrons are on the outside. The protons have the positive charge and the electrons have the negative charge, they attract each other therefore holding the atom together." Donnie protested. I could hear a hint of annoyance in his voice. True, he did explain this to me a few times but I had a hard time believing him. I didn't know why though.

Donnie and I had been working on a project together for quiet some time now. Ever since the Thanksgiving dinner with my parents really. We want to make a picture with the atoms in the air. But he never told me what picture we were going to make.

" So," Donnie continued his theory, " We're going to send a positive charge up in the air to get the atoms to form different shapes. And since positive and negative attract and the electrons circle around the nucleus, therefore the positive charge in the air will attract the atoms. Then using the machine we made, we'll create pictures with the atoms. Then we will see it through this monitor." Donnie pointed to the desk size machine he had created.

" Yeah I get the whole monitor and attracting part. But if the electrons do create a negative charge, which I still don't think they do but if they did, wouldn't the positive charge in the atom interfere with he positive charge in the air?" I questioned him.

" And that's what we want to test." Donnie was annoyed with me now.

"Yeah but shouldn't we send a negative charge in the air since I still think the electrons are positive." I asked, " Look Donnie, I know your way smarter then me but I just have this feeling that I'm right." I knew then that I chose the wrong word choice. Donnie hated to be wrong and to be corrected.

" Taylor, look I know I'm right. Like 100% certain." Donnie spoke in a surprisingly calm tone of voice but I knew that he could snap at any second.

" So wait your not even going to consider my theory?" Now I was starting to get annoyed with him, " You know you don't always have to be right." I started to raise my voice when I didn't even mean to.

" See that's where you don't get it. I have to be right!" Donnie started to raise his voice as well.

" Why Donnie? Why do you always have to be right? Why can't you just let me be right for once?" I was full out yelling now.

" It's because I just have to be right! I can't be wrong, I'm the smart one!" Donnie began yelling as well, " My brothers count on me to fix anything they break! To have an answers to all their questions, even when I don't! I always have to be the smart one because if I'm wrong, I risk disappointing my family. And if I'm not the smart one, who am I? Being smart is the one thing I have that's important to me!"

Normally I would have been hurt, since Donnie said the only thing important to him is his intelligences. But I knew Donnie didn't actually mean it. He was just caught up in the moment.

" Taylor, I didn't mean-" Donnie began but got stopped. I had interrupted him.

I took a deep breath in and then I spoke...

" Don't worry Donnie, I know you didn't mean it. And I'm sorry, your probably right about the whole atom thing."

Donnie smiled at me. His eyes glowing with joy. He opened his arms for me to come and hug him. I went over and gave him a hug. This is what I love about mine and Donnie's fights. The longest they last is about a day. Then we forgive each other and then it's over.

As I was hugging Donnie, I looked up at him and he looked down at me. Then we kissed. Donnie's kisses are always so magical. It makes me forget any trouble I have in this world, it makes me feel happy.

After our kiss we returned to hugging. I never wanted this moment to end. Resting my head on his chest. I told him,

" I love you Donatello." I rarely use his full name. Only when I'm super happy with him or super angry.

" I love you too April."

I back away quickly, in shocked.

" What?!" I skipped the raising of my voice and went straight to the yelling.

" Taylor!"Donnie quickly corrected himself as he just realized what he had said.

" Did you just call me..." I didn't even have to finish my question, I already knew the answer.

" NO! No, I didn't." Donnie tried to cover his mistake, but there was no getting by this one.

" You called me...April." I was no longer yelling. My voice was almost a whisper, but still full of anger. It was like Donnie took my heart out of my chest and broke it into a thousand pieces. This was one of my biggest fears when it came to Donnie. I always feared that Donnie might have loved April more then me and still does. And when he called me April, it was like I was living my worst fear.

I could feel the hot tears welling up in my eyes as they went wide with hurt. The name April kept ringing in my ears. I knew I couldn't stand here for another second, without doing something I would regret.

So I ran out of his lab, on the way to my room. And as I ran through the living room I heard Leo call after me...

" Taylor? Are you okay?"

" What happened in there?" I also heard Raph's voice. He didn't sound like himself, Raph almost sounded worried and concerned.

But I just ignored their questions and kept running to my room. I was to upset to talk to anybody. I ran past Mikey in the hallway as he was coming to the living with a pile of comic books. He stopped for a brief moment to say hi to me but I ignored him as well.

When I got to my room I flopped down on my bed and sunk my head into my pillow, I began to cry and I began thinking to myself.

_Donnie and I have been dating for a whole year now, he and his brothers are even 16. Even though they didn't change much. Maybe Donnie just lost interest in me. I mean I still love him and he's special to me. But me to him? Am I not special to him anymore? Does Donnie not love me anymore? He called me April! She's not even his X-girlfriend! Maybe I'm just over reacting. I mean couples have fights all the time right? But this is mine and Donnie's fourth fight this week! So how many are going to come. Or maybe this is the end. I mean now that I think about it, Donnie and I have been dating for a year, and this is our fourth fight! It's hard to believe that Donnie and I have never fought before this week, maybe it's just not meant to be anymore. Maybe Donnie actually doesn't love me any-_

My thoughts got interrupted by a knock at my door. I've never prayed so much that it wasn't Donnie knocking at my door. I couldn't face him, not here, not now. But whoever it was, I decided to let them in.

" Come in!" I shouted and sat up. Hoping that I wiped any tears away from my eyes and that they wouldn't see the dried tear marks on my face. My cheeks were hot and sticky.

" Are you alright?" A wave of relief flooded over me when I heard and saw Leo coming into my room.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to build up the energy to speak to Leo but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. When I did whimper Leo immediately came to sit beside me.

" What happened? he questioned. His voice was full of worry. It was nice to know that at least someone cared about me.

" Well Donnie and I been working on this project, and I thought I found a mistake in his work so I corrected him." I started to explain myself to Leo. And with each word that I said I felt the tears rising back up, " He said that there was no mistake and ignored my opinion on things. So I kept correcting him and correcting him until I made him snap. I started yelling then he started yelling and he said being smart was the only thing important to him. I knew it was my fault for starting the fight and I know that he didn't mean it so we hugged and what not. Then said I loved him and he said he loved me too, but he called me April." Now the sobs were escaping my lips and then I just broke down and let my head rest on his shoulder.

When he heard me crying Leo took me in his arms and stroked the back of my head.

" Taylor, it's gonna be okay. Looks, I know my brother and he would never say anything like that and actually mean it." Leo soothing voice made me calm down a bit. But there was something inside me that was still upset with Donnie. No matter how much I told myself it wasn't that big of a deal or that it was my fault, not Donnie's, I still felt mad and I suddenly, wanted to be alone, no matter how much Leo was comforting. I just wanted to be left alone.

" Look Taylor, I-" Leo began but I interrupted him. I couldn't stand to be with someone any longer.

" Stop Leo. I don't want to hear your sympathy speech, or any speech at all. I just want to be alone right now." I told him, trying my best not to sound mean. I was afraid if I was in the presents of anyone I would start a fight with them then ruin something.

" Alright. But when your ready to talk, you can always come to me." Leo rubbed my knee, got up and walked out my door, pulling closed the curtain.

When Leo left I flopped back down on my bed and let my head sink into my pillow. Then I once again began to think,

_Come on Taylor. Get a grip. It was one stupid little fight. Why should it ruin Donnie's and mine's relationship? But, it wasn't just one fight, only this week we had four fights. And it's only Wednesday! Maybe it's best if we just break up._

But I didn't want to think about that just yet. I had to think about something else, to get my mind off of Donnie.

_The first snow fall day is coming soon, next Wednesday_, Last year I took the turtles up to the surface on the 8th of December because it started to snow. Before that day, the turtles have never actually played in snow. So now every December 8h we have this little celebration._ I wonder if Donnie and I will be back to normal by then. I hope so. He said he had something special planed for snow fall day. Would we still do it? Even if we broke up? But would we really break up just after four fights? But then again, the fights came day after day. But we always forgave each other after. It will probably be the same with this fight. Everything will be better in the morning. I'm sure of it. But calling me, his girlfriend, the name of someone he liked in the past? Is that forgivable? I guess so, but I know it's not forgettable._

I knew that even if I did forgive Donnie, I would never forget this day. Know matter how much and tried and how much I wished, I knew that I would never forget. This day is unforgettable.

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**Alright welcome everyone to the first chapter of my second story! Sorry for the late update there was some...complications. Hope you like it so far, nothing really major happens if chapter one, but I promise if will pick up next chapter! So please stick with it, and please review! Hope you liked it!**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's Saturday night and Donnie still never talked to me. This argument lasted longer then I thought it would. I even skipped the visit with my parents Friday night, waiting to see if Donnie would come and talk to me or if I would get the courage to go and talk to him. I didn't know why I couldn't just go and apologize, the fight was all my fault anyway. He would have never called me April if I never doubted his theory. I have never felt scared or nervous to talk to Donnie before now.

_Are we falling apart?_ I thought to myself and rolled over in my bed. But I really didn't want to think about that. In fact I didn't want to think about Donnie at all. I knew then that I had to get out of the sewers. Just for a little while, maybe go for a run on the rooftops, to help clear my head. I always feel relaxed when I run and jump from roof to roof. So I got up and walked out of my room.

In the living room I seen Leo, Raph and Mikey watching TV. Saturday is our day off after all. So as I walked past them, heading for the door, I shouted...

" I'm gonna go for a walk."

They all turned their heads to face me. It's really the first time I came out of my room for three days and actually talked to the turtles. I come out for training and to eat but I usually bring my food back to my room.

" Did you want one of us to come with you?" Leo offered. Still a bit shocked that I was making vocal contact.

" No it's okay." I told them and ran out the doors. Since I've been training as a kunoichi for almost a year now, I didn't need the turtles protection every time I went out of the sewers. Don't get me wrong I'm not as good as the turtles them selves but one day, I'll get there.

I walked through the sewer halls, it smelt really bad, I mean it smelled worst then usual. But I kept walking until I came to a manhole cover. I opened it and crawled out. And as soon as I got out, I was gone. Creeping in the shadows, I jumped on a roof and started running. I felt so free and alive. I felt better then I did in days! And no thought was on my mind except for running, jumping and flipping.

The sky was clear and you could almost see the stars. The night air was cool, it was December after all and only a few weeks till Christmas.

When I run freely on the rooftops I feel like I can fly. I felt like I didn't have care in the world. The last time I felt like this was when I was with...

" Donnie." As soon as I said his name I skidded to a halt. I was now of the rooftop which Donnie took me on a second date to see some fireworks. That night I felt cold so Donnie took me in his arms and rapped me up with a blanket. I felt warm, happy, complete. Back then I felt like Donnie was my missing piece, but now? Now I'm not so sure.

Just thinking of him brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't count the number of times I cried this week. And I hated crying so I didn't really have a good week.

" Taylor?" A voice called out my name. That voice! It was so familiar. I heard it only three days ago, but it felt like a life time. But the last time I heard it, that voice was yelling at me. But to hear it calm, it was like I died and went to heaven. But you can't feel pain in heaven and right now, my heart was aching. I slowly turned around and seen Donnie standing on the other side of this flat roof.

" Donnie." My voice was no higher then a whisper.

" Do you come here too?" This was the most Donnie talked to me since Wednesday.

" I-uh-" I didn't know what to say. I thought I was alone with my thoughts, but I was wrong. How long was he standing there?

" I do." Donnie continued, " I came here every single night since our..." Donnie's voice trailed off.

" Yeah..." My voice trailed off as well. But ours eyes stayed locked together. Even though Donnie was on the other side of this roof I could still see his eyes. Usually I can read Donnie's emotions through his eyes but tonight, they were difficult to read. I seen all these mixed emotions. Pain, sorrow, anger.

" W-what are you doing here?" I felt like I had to keep the conversation going. I already knew part of his answer, he comes here every night. But what I really wanted to know was why.

" I usually come here every night, but tonight, I came here looking for you." Donnie sounded so much older when he spoke, but he also sounded...sad?

" Why? To yell at me again? To tell me how much better April is-uh-was?" I was still hurt and angry from our fight. Part of me was angry at Donnie, but the other part was angry at me. Why couldn't I just apologized to him? It was my fault!I had never felt so alone and sad in the presents of Donnie, I knew that something between me and him had changed.

Donnie opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was until he shouted...

" Look out!" And he started running towards me but I felt something whack the back of my head before I could turn around. Whoever it was, they hit me pretty hard. I fell on my knees but I didn't black out, not yet anyway. There was a horrible ringing in my ears so I couldn't tell what was going on, my vision kept blurring out. But what from I could tell, there was an ambush. And Donnie had to fight it alone.

" Donnie..." my voice was delicate and couldn't be heard over the fight that was going on. I tried to reach out for Donnie but I couldn't move.

It looked like there was 20 foot ninjas and only one turtle. But then the next thing you know blackness took over and you could see no more green. I had passed out.

_Blink, Blink,_

I had woken up to see that I was in the TCRI building somewhere, a part that I never knew existed. And that I was being dragged by foot ninjas. But they looked different, they were bigger, stronger then the other ones. I tried to break free of their grip but I was still to weak from just waking up from being passed out.

I lifted my head and I seen Donnie being dragged as well. And from what I could tell he was awake as well. But the question is, where were we being dragged off to?

We came to a stop in front of two big doors. The foot opened the doors and threw us in. I had just realized that mine and Donnie's feet were tied up. But we managed to sit up. We glanced at each other, both of us were nervous and scared but neither of us said a word.

" Good job getting captured." A deep voice echoed through the gigantic room. Both of our eyes went wide as we realized who that deep voice belonged to. Shredder was sitting in a huge chair at the back of the room. He got up and walked towards us. Karai was standing beside him.

" Your not Splinter, but I guess you'll have to do." Shredder always used the same tone of voice every time he spoke. It made him seem like he was incapable of emotions, " I'll ask you nicely once, I'm in a good mood today, where is Splinter?"

Donnie and I both stay silent. Neither of us revealing Splinter's location. Our silences seemed to anger Shredder. And when he said he'll only ask us nicely once, he meant it. Shredder had called in some foot ninja's to come and help him. I didn't know for what, but there was five of them. All five of the foot ninja's had picked me up and Shredder picked up Donnie and began to drag him away, Karai followed and the foot was close behind. We came to a hall. It was painted gray and felt very cold.

" Take her to the waiting room." Shredder ordered the five foot ninja's that was holding me back, " I'll take this one to the torture room." Shredder gave a little chuckle as he spoke.

Then Shredder began to drag Donnie off into one direction and the foot was dragging me in an other. It took a second for me to process what was going on. But when I did, I struggled to break of the grip the foot had on me, but I couldn't break lose.

" No! Donnie!" I desperately shouted Donnie's name as tears began to pour down my face like a free flowing water fall. I had to save Donnie from being dragged off and I tried my hardest to break free of the grip of the five foot ninja's that was holding me back. But I couldn't, when Donnie needed me most I wasn't there for him. And now he was being dragged off to be tortured, to be beaten to the bone and then just left there to die. And I could do nothing about it. Plus, it's all my fault that we're here. Why did the last thing Donnie and I had to do was fight? Because of that stupid argument, Donnie was going to get hurt and possibly die, and it would be all my fault.

I tried to reach out for Donnie as he did for me but my hands were being held behind my back by foot ninjas as Donnie was being dragged away by Shredder. I could see desperation in Donatello's eyes. He was scared and was counting on me to come and save him. But I failed, I didn't care if I had just woken up from being passed out, I had to save him. But now, I was being dragged off. To Shredder's so called waiting room. It's more like a detention cell. Nothing but cold metal walls.

As the foot ninja's threw me in the small metal room I untied my feet and I tried to run back to the door before he could shut it. But I was too late. The last I saw was Karai's face, it didn't look evil or pleased, it looked sad. I was confused at first but I had more important things to worry about, like the fact that I was now trapped inside this metal room.

I was banging my fist against the door that only opened and locked from the outside. I didn't know what I wanted to accomplish, maybe I just didn't want to give up, I didn't want to lose hope but the screams coming from a few rooms down, told me that me banging my fist against the door would do nothing and I was feeding myself false hope.

I knew instantly that those screams of pain were coming from Donnie. Every few seconds a new scream came. Shredder was taring at Donnie's flesh with his metal claws. I could hear faint voices coming from the torture room. Between every scream Shredder's deep voice would ask Donnie...

" Tell me where Splinter is!"

Then I could hear Donnie's fragile voice always saying the same response. But each time getting more and more week.

" No!"

" I found Splinter once and I can do it again. I know hes in the sewer somewhere. You abandon your old home so where are you living?! Shredder's voice asked again. But when he got no response from Donnie, Shredder would hit him or slash him or something that would make Donnie scream. And even though the voice were faint, Donnie's screams were crystal clear.

My lip began to quiver and I fell to the floor sobbing. I was leaning against the door, but that didn't last long. Hearing Donnie being tortured was a type of torture for me. The turtle I love was getting beaten and I knew somehow I had to save him, even if he didn't love me anymore.

Each time Donnie screamed, a new set of tears would come and pour down my face. I felt cold and alone in this small metal room. I wanted to feel the comfort I feel when I'm in Donnie's arms. But now, I'm just alone and I knew after Donnie, it was my turn to get tortured. And my time would come soon because I realized that it was too quiet, Donnie's screams of terror and pain had suddenly just stopped.

That just enraged me even more. I got up and started banging my fist against the door again. I was clenching my hands so tight that my knuckles started to crack and my fingers started to bleed. But I didn't care how much it hurt or how much it stung, I had to break lose. So I was kicking and hitting the door until it opened.

I backed away in disbelief. There was no way I could of opened a metal door just by kicking and hitting it. And my disbelief was right. Shredder was now standing in the door way. I glanced down and saw that his metal claws were stained with Donnie's blood. A chilling sensation ran down my spine as I knew what was coming next. But Shredder didn't say a word, all he did was grab me and dragged me off to the torture room. He threw me in and that's when he spoke..

" Look at your friend Donatello. That will happen to you if you don't tell me where Splinter is. I'll let you sit here and think about your decision."

I knew Shredder wasn't being nice. He just wanted me to see how badly Donnie was hurt. He knew that would be torture for me. And when Shredder closed the door and locked it, I turned around to face Donnie.

The sight horrified me. He was all beaten up and bruised. He was laying in his own pool of blood, left there to die. His leg was awkwardly placed and no doubt broken. There were deep painful cuts all over his body and his shell was cracked. His head was split open, he had two black eyes, there was almost no skin left on his upper left arm and out of the corner of his mouth trickled a little stream of warm thick blood. But through all of this, Donnie still refused to tell Shredder where Splinter is.

" Taylor." Donnie's voice was so faint I barely heard him. And as Donnie called out to me, I fell to my knees sobbing. I crawled over to him. I seen the faint rise and fall of his chest. I couldn't believe that through all of that torture, Donnie was still alive. But I couldn't imagine the pain he must be going through. Seeing him like this was like knives in my heart. And at this moment I wished that I could just forget everything and be brain dead.

" Donnie." I said between sobs, " I-I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for our fight. It was my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I kept apologizing over and over again as I was crying my heart out. Even if I didn't forgive him, I wanted him to forgive me before he...died. I laid my head on Donnie's chest, to make sure I could still feel and hear the faint rise and fall of him breathing. To make sure him being alive wasn't my mind playing a cruel trick on me.

" This is all my fault." I continued, " It's my fault you got beaten, I should of just apologized sooner, then we would never be in this mess..." I was rambling on and on but Donnie stopped me.

" Th-this is-is not your-r f-f-fault." Donnie struggled to say. I couldn't bare hearing him like that, " I'm sorry too." Donnie continued.

" Donnie?"

" Yeah?"

" I love you. I always did and always will. I never stopped loving you. "I told him. Spilling out my heart as hot tears were spilling out of my eyes. But as I was rambling, I thought, I do love him, but do I forgive him?

" Me too." Donnie sweets words stayed in my head. Oh those sweet sweet words.' Me too' will always be special to us. And now I felt a little spark of happiness in my system. Donnie did still love me, and I still love him. I closed my eyes, savouring this moment, wishing it could last forever. It was the most happy I have felt in days. But that happiness was going to fade when I was going to get beaten.

But my sweet happiness faded sooner then I thought. The room just got deathly quiet. My head quickly jerked up when I didn't feel Donnie's chest rise and fall anymore. Had he stopped breathing. Was Donnie dead? I quickly sat up.

" Donnie?" I shouted his name. There was no response. He had a blank look in his eyes, a deadly look.

" Donnie?!" I shouted his name again and each time that I did, fear and panic kept rising in my voice. But there was still no response from Donnie.

" Donatello!?" I shouted desperately as I realized my worst fear. It wasn't that Donnie might had loved April more then me, it was that if he died. And from what I could tell Don, Donnie, Donatello was dead.

* * *

**Okay so this chapter is kinda depressing...hehe. But I hoped that anyone who is reading this enjoyed it! Sorry for the late update, was acting wonky. Soooo...yeah. Sorry if I broke any hearts but please please review! Thanks! :)**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I kept feeling Donnie's chest for some kind of breathing but there was no movement. But I heard something beating in his chest. His heart? But that was impossible, how could someone's heart beat when they're not breathing. I put my hand near Donnie's mouth, I felt his hot breath against my hand. Donnie's breaths were so shallow that his chest didn't even move, but at least he was alive.

" Don't worry Donnie." I began, " I'll get us out of here."

I didn't care if it sounded crazy or if it was near impossible. I had to get out of here. So I did the only thing I could think of. I got up and banged my fist against the door violently.

My watch beeped. It was now Midnight, and it was now Sunday. This wasn't how I imagined I would spend my first snow fall day. But I set that thought aside and kept hitting the door.

" Let us out! Please someone let us out!" I screamed as I banged my fist even harder. I heard a crack and my hand suddenly got this sharp pain in it. I thought I broke it but that didn't stop me. Donnie's life is on the line and I would let a little broken hand stop me? No way. So I kept banging and screaming, hoping for something to happen. And then it was like my prayers were answered. I had seen a flash of silver and I heard a click. The door was now unlocked. Someone, or something had opened it.

I wanted to scream with joy and thank whoever opened the door, but I didn't have time. With adrenaline pumping through my veins and running through my whole body, I threw Donnie over my shoulders and ran. Normally carrying a mutant would be hard, but having an adrenaline rush made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. So getting past the foot ninja's was a snap.

I would yell at the foot to get out of my way and since it was so quiet in the hall, the sudden noise would make them jump and get out of my way. And if they didn't move I would run them down, jumping and whacking them down with my shoulder was the best strategy I could think off. I was about half way down the hall until an alarm went off to alert all the foot, Krang, and Shredder. So I had appropriately 2 minutes before I had to face all the enemies at once. I searched desperately for a way out. Then I seen that silver flash again and a window opened.

I jumped up to the ledge and I looked around for that silver flash to thank them but no one was here. I knew I couldn't waste any more time, so I silently thanked that silver flash and I hopped out the window. Now on the window sill, I was running across it. Jumping down from window sill to window sill until I reached the ground. I began to run back to the sewer, trying to find the closes man hole cover.

I could tell the Krang were chasing me. When I reached the bottom of TCRI three Krang-bots came out and started chasing me. One of them hit me in the back of the leg with their blaster gun. It burned, but I kept running. I took the ninja stars out of Donnie's belt and threw them at the Krang. That's when I lost them and jumped in the sewers. I began running through the sewer halls.

" Hold on there Donnie. You'll be okay." I said out loud to Donnie, but it was really just to feed me some hope.

When I got to the lair I burst through the it screaming,

" Help!"

All the turtles heads turn around along with John and Lily's. They have been coming down to the sewers lately. At first they weren't aloud to come down here but one day they just did and now it's like a normal thing.

Splinter came out of his room and ran towards Donnie. We all gathered around him as Splinter took Donnie from my arms.

" Back away! All of you. Give Donatello some space." Splinter pushed his sons away from their brother. Donnie's thin body looked fragile and limp in Splinter's arms and he was quickly soaking Splinter's fur in blood, " I'll take him to my room, you will all remain here until I say you can move." Splinter was very strict but we all knew he was just worried about his second youngest son.

When Splinter walked away, I dropped to my knees, buried my face his my hands and began to sob. I have never cried this hard in my life.

As soon as I started to cry, everybody was by my side. Raph even picked me up and brought me to the couch. We were now all just sitting on the couch, huddled together. I say, I must of cried for hours. Or at least it felt like hours. That was until we all decided to go to bed. But I slept on the couch. Lily and John slept with me. They decided to stay over night.

Sleep didn't come easy to me. I got a chance to just glance around the lair and there was balloons and streamers hanging everywhere. The turtles had already decorated for the fist snow fall day. It was sweet of them, but what happened tonight, I was in no mood for celebrating. Finally my eyes felt drowsy and I fell asleep. But when I did, I then wished it didn't. That's because I had a dream. Or more like a nightmare.

_" Sorry boys, but I have leave now." A red hair girl was in the turtles lair. Her voice sounded evil._

_" A-April? Where are you going?" Leo asked._

_" I'm not going, I'm leaving. Going, is when you go somewhere then come back, but I'm not coming back." April sneered._

_" What do you mean not coming back?" Raph wondered, his voice full of anger and worry._

_" I'm leaving you guys. I'm going to somewhere where my talents can actually be put to use."_

_" You don't mean..." Mikey's young voice sounded so scared._

_" Yes I'm mean the Shredder. He's an offer I can't refuse." April explained herself and the whole time she did she had a evil smile on her face. Then began to walk away, hips swaying from side to side like one of those mean girls in high school._

_" April wait!" Donnie screamed and tried to run after her but his brothers were holding him back, " April! Don't leave us!" Donnie shouted again, tears were building up in his eyes as he reached out for April but she just kept walking away, " April! I-I love you April!" Donnie screamed, so desperate to make April stay with them._

_April turned around with a pleased evil smile._

_" A turtle loving a human? How pathetic. Did you ever really think I would love you back? How could a human love a monster?"_

_As soon as April said monster, Donnie let the tears run down his face. The young Donatello got his heart broken for the first time._

_" Here." April continued and threw a ninja star on the floor and it slid towards Donnie's feet, " There's something to remember me by, lover boy."_

_And that was the last thing April said before she left the turtles. Donnie picked up the ninja star April had left and threw it in her direction. Screaming and yelling and crying Donnie ran to his lab and slammed the door shut._

_Now on a rooftop, I was standing near the edge and Donnie was right in front of me. His brown eyes were glowing and it look like he was being haunted._

_" Taylor." When Donnie spoke his voice echoed, " I don't love you. I still love April. She's so much better then you. You'll never be like her. My heart will always belong to April O'Neil."_

_When Donnie said April's name he leaned forward and pushed me off the building. Now I was falling what looked like a 50 story building. I was waving my hands in the air hoping for something to happen. But nothing did, I was about to hit the ground and die. And it would be all Donnie's fault. Donnie would have killed me. And now, with in each second I was getting closer and closer to the ground until..._

I woke up just before I hit the ground. I quickly sat up on the couch panting. I was drenched in my own sweat,and the blood Donnie and left behind on my shirt as I was carrying him. Once again my cheeks felt hot and sticky and my eyes were burning. I was crying in my sleep. I glanced at the clock and it was 3:46am.

I carefully got up to go to the wash room, I didn't want too wake up Lily and John, but I felt a sharp pain in my leg. I looked down and on the back of my leg was burnt, the top half of it. The flesh was all crippled and red, I had forgotten that the Krang's blaster gun shot me in the back of the leg. And that's when I remembered that I also had hurt my hand.

I held up my right hand and it was all blue, purple and swollen. It was broken and I only realized now how much it hurt. I had to wrap it up. I needed Donnie's medical box but that was in Splinter's room, where Donnie is.

I couldn't bring myself to see Donnie, not in that condition. And right now I didn't know if he had lived or died. I knew I had to see him, soon, but not now. As much as I wanted to see him, I had to refuse. I already did enough crying for one night.

So I just continued to the bathroom. When I reached it, I walked in, locked the door and began to wash my face. With only one hand. After that I dried my face with the towel and I wrapped my hand up with toilet paper. I also wrapped my thy with toilet paper as well. It hurt and it stung but I kept rapping. I also picked up one of my shirts from the laundry basket and slipped it on.

I walked back to the living room and just sat up on the couch. I didn't feel like going to sleep, and even if I did feel like it, I knew sleep wouldn't come. So I didn't even bother to try. I also didn't want to go to sleep because of the dream I had. I didn't want to think about it but the longer I stayed up, the more I thought about it.

_Donnie would never actually push me off a roof right? Of course not! I love him and he loves me! But, did he actually love April more? I never really thought about that before. What happens if he did love April more then me? Maybe he's just using me to get his mind off of April! ...No, why would I even think that? Donnie would never do that. Plus if he wasn't over April then he would still be sad and depressed right? No, Donnie does love me. It was just a dream._

Finally I did drift off into sleep. But before I did, I had one final thought in my head,

_Maybe this whole Donnie thing is just a dream, maybe tomorrow he'll be better then ever. Maybe all of this is in my head, Donnie and I never fought and he never got hurt. This whole thing is just a really bad dream._


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next morning was hectic. I woke up to see everyone waiting for me to wake up so they could overwhelm me with their questions. So then I knew that unfortunately all this Donnie commotion was not a dream.

So when I did wake up, I found everyone staring at me, everyone except for Splinter and Donnie.

" She's awake." A voice I didn't recognize pointed out the obvious. I seen Mikey's lips move but his tone of voice was so deep and sounded like he was talking in slow motions.

" Oh good." Lily's lips moved but she sounded just like the slow motion Mikey. Everyone sounded the same. I guess that's what you get for only getting a few hours of sleep the night before.

" What's going on?" I was the only one who sounded like myself.

"Taylor, can we ask you some questions?" Slow motion Leo wondered.

" Sure." I said, sounding out of this world. Not realizing exactly what I said.

Everybody started asking their questions at the same time. I couldn't tell who was talking.

" What happen to Donnie?"

" Is he going to die?"

" Where were you two last night?"

" Why his your hand wrapped up in toilet paper?"

" What happened to your leg?"

Slowly my normal hearing came back but I still couldn't tell who was talking.

" Guys. Maybe we should give Taylor some space, and some actual time to answer our questions." John suggested. He was the only one who stayed silent during this whole thing. I glanced a silent thank you to him.

" Your right." Leo spoke, " So Taylor, what happened?"

I explained everything to them. I explained the whole rooftop second date thing, to the part when I broke my hand and the part with the silver flash. When I was explaining the part when Shredder was torturing Donnie, I seen all three of the turtles flinch. I even seen tears come to Mikey's eyes. And by the end of it, Leo was holding Mikey in his arms and Raph was holding Lily in his. I could tell they were all upset and while telling the story was hurting me, it was hurting them as well.

" So that's basically what happened." I concluded. I could see anger and sadness in everyone's eyes.

But Raph had the most anger in his.

" I'm gonna kill that Shredder." I heard Leo whisper under his breath as he was trying to fight back his own tears.

" Shredder's the meanest nastiest person I know." Mikey added in. His voice no longer sounded cheery and happy, it sounded sad and mad. Mikey did not sound like the cute innocent Mikey we all know.

Raph was staying quiet this whole time and I thought that was odd, Raph doesn't usually stay silent in these kind of situations. But then he snapped. Raph shoved Lily out of his arms, stood up without saying a word and stormed off.

" Raph! Where are you going?" Leo shouted after his younger brother while still comforting his other one.

" To my room!" Raph's voice was full of anger and hatred. He was the most enraged that I've ever seen him. Raph might be tough but he's always protective over his brothers and he always leaves a soft side for them.

We all sat in silences for a moment, well almost silences. Raph keeps a punching bag in his room and we could hear his calls of anger as he was hitting it. And after a few more moments of Raph yelling, he heard a big thump coming from his room. We all got up and walked to Raph's room.

" Raph! What are you doing?" Leo almost screamed as we saw Raph all out of breath and his punching bag was on the ground and all ripped up with Raph's sai's sticking out of it. This was Raph's way of expressing his anger but had never gone to a point to actually break something.

And I could tell that Leo wasn't angry at Raph, for all we know Leo wanted to do the same thing, no, Leo was angry and upset that he doesn't know what's gonna happen to his brother.

" I'm training! Which all of you lazy bones should be doing as well! We got to go after Shredder! And we got to go tonight!" Raph was yelling at his older brother. Which isn't anything new, but this argument felt different between these two, it felt off.

" We're not going after Shredder! You have to think for once Raph!" Leo started shouting as well. They both sounded like they were about to burst out crying.

" So what? We're just gonna sit here and do nothing? Don't you want to avenge our brother? Shredder killed Donnie!" Raph and Leo's anger must of frighten Mikey cause he came over to me looking for comfort. I took him in my arms.

" You don't know that Shredder killed Donnie! He could-he's still alive! And we have to be there for him when he wakes up! You have to actually be here for your brother for once Raph! Besides, going after Shredder wouldn't be what Donnie would want!" Leo shouted at Raph.

" You don't know the first thing about what Donnie would want! You think you know us all so well but you don't! Stop pretending to be the fearless leader, because your not!" At that note, we all knew that Raph went to far. Leo tries to be the best leader that he can.

" What makes you think you know him all that well?! You always tease him and hit him! Your not exactly the worlds best brother either! It seems you like fighting more then your own family!" Leo had also crossed the line.

" Don't you ever say that about me!" Raph screamed and launched himself at Leo. Now Leo and Raph were not just wrestling but actually fighting. There was no blood but they're definitely going to have some bruises.

When Leo and Raph started to fight, Mikey hugged me even harder and hide his face. It was obvious to me now that Leo and Raph had never gone this far with their fighting. And when I heard Mikey whimper I knew that I had to put a stop to this.

" Guys."My voice started out soft. But when they didn't stop, the only solution would be to raise it, "Hey guys!"

Leo and Raph stopped fighting and looked at me. A little surprised that I could yell that loud. Even Lily and John were looking at me with shocked faces.

" You guys are being ridiculous! Raph, we're not going after Shredder cause that would be idiotic! And Leo, probably the only reason why Raph fights is because he wants to protect his family! I can't believe you guys would fight at a time like this. And if Donnie would want anything, it'd be for you two to stop fighting! I mean just look at Mikey! He's in tears!" I continued to yell at them.

Mikey looked up at Leo and Raph and spoke.

" I'm fine, really." But his voice was still sad and there still was fresh tears in his eyes.

" I'm sorry Mikey. We didn't mean for it to go so far, it won't happen again. Right Raph?" Leo was the first to apologize and then elbowed Raph.

" Right. Sorry." It was weird to hear Raph apologize, I never heard him do it before, but it was nice to hear him say sorry.

Before the conversation could go any farther, we all got distracted by approaching foot steps echoing through out the sewer lair.

" My sons."Splinter's came to join us.

We all rushed over to him. Waiting anxiously to hear what he would have to say. Possibly revealing something about Donnie.

" Is he okay?" Mikey couldn't wait any longer. He had to know how his brother was doing.

" He's alive." Splinter began. A wave of relief flooded over me, I felt some what happy. But that happiness quickly faded as Splinter continued, " But I don't know for how long. I did all that I could. You may all go see him but he's not awake-"

We didn't even let Splinter finish his sentence. None of us could stand there any longer. We all rushed for Splinter's room. We burst through the door and found Donnie laying on Splinter's bed.

This was the first time I seen inside Splinter's room. It was bigger then I thought is would be and on the walls was a beautiful Japanese patterns.

My focus went back to the unconscious Donnie laying on Splinter's bed. We were all gathered around Donnie. Just watching him, watching his chest rise and fall, watching him breath. He was all covered in bandages. There was one rapped all around his head, some all down his arms, the front part of his shell that protected his ribcage got cracked, so that was rapped up and then his broken leg was all covered in bandages from top to bottom. And then his other leg, on the kneecap there was a bandage and then just little ones covering all the other scratches. His upper left arm was all covered up but the bandages were already red. And there were still some scratches showing, well Shredder doesn't give scratches, he prefers gashes.

We all stood there in silence. And this time, I think we all had tears in our eyes. Mikey was the first to break and he went into Leo's arms, and that just made Leo break. After that, Lily once again went into Raph's arms. Tears were falling freely down her face and Raph was trying to hold back his tears, but he failed. It was one of the first times I've seen Raph cry and it's the first time I've seen John cry. And when I finally gave in and let the tears come out, John took me in his arms. I didn't have my turtle here to comfort me, because my turtles is passed out on the bed and just inches away from death.

We all stood there for a good half an hour to 45 minutes. Just watching Donnie. Being there for him.

" I'm gonna stay here for a little while longer." I told everyone as they were about to leave.

" Alright." Leo said and walked out. Everyone followed him out. And now I was alone in the room with the turtle I love.

I knelt down beside him and began to speak, I also took his hand and held it in my good hand.

" Hey Donnie. I don't know if you can hear me but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you. And I will be here when you wake up. Because, you will wake up." I spoke while fighting back my tears, " Your gonna be okay...You have to be okay, you won't leave us...you can't leave us. Please, Donnie don't leave us. Don't leave me." I was now looking down at the ground, sobbing, " Donnie, please say something...Do anything that will let me know that your okay! Please Donnie! Do anything! Answer me! Donnie please!" I was now yelling out of frustration, out of anger, out of sadness, out of worry.

The turtles must of heard me because Leo came back into Splinter's room and guided me out. Actually he had to drag me out. I fought and struggled against his grip, I had to stay by Donnie's side in case he woke up. I was devastated that Donnie might die. But it's hard to fight against a mutant turtle with only one hand.

" I know, Taylor, I know." Leo comforted. But right now, it felt like no one could ever know what I was feeling. But, Leo dragged me away with one arm and stroke my head with the other. I no longer fought against him. I was to tired, to worn out, to sad. I just let my body hang in his arms.

Leo brought me to the couch and sat me down. He took me in his arms and continued to comfort me. I didn't know where everyone else was. All I had on my mind was Donnie. And that only made me sob harder. I couldn't imagine how hard this must be for the turtles. I only knew Donnie for a year and I'm crying my eyes out, And the turtles knew Donnie for their entire life! So it must be twice as hard on the turtles then it is for me. I should be comforting them, but beside what I should do, all I wanted to do was cry.

" Are you alright?" Leo asked in the most comforting voice I've ever heard him use, he asked me that when I started to calm down.

" Yeah. I'm alright." I told him and wiped my eyes. My cheeks were soaked.

" Taylor?" I heard Mikey's hushed voice coming from down the hall.

" Hey Mikey?" I asked him.

Mikey emerged from the shadowy hallway and approached me with a little gift bag in his hands.

" Happy first snowfall day." he told me and handed me the gift bag, " It's from all of us."

" Thanks Mikey." I thanked him and opened up the bag.

Inside the bag was a little white teddy bear and his arms looked like he wanted a hug. And on the teddy bear's wrists was ribbons. On one wrists was a blue ribbon and a red ribbon, and on the other wrists was a purple ribbon and a orange ribbon.

" Take off one of the ribbons." Mikey instructed me and sat down beside me.

I took off the orange ribbon. There was two little holes in the ribbon. I instantly caught on and I rapped the ribbon around the teddy bear's head. The two little holes fit the bear perfectly. It was a ninja bear.

" Aw, thanks guys. I love it." I smiled at them. I really did love it, but I had to put on a fake smile. There was nothing happy about this day. This was the worst snow fall ever. And snowfall day would be forever ruined.

After I opened the gift, Mikey walked away and went back to his room.

I shifted in my seat and flinched. I had put to much pressure on my hand.

" What's wrong?" Leo jumped up out of his seat at my flinch.

" I just leaned on my hand." I told Leo, my hand still stinging.

" What about your leg? Is that okay? Do you need anything?" Leo kept asking and asking question after question.

" Yeah, it's fine. Just a little sore." I tried to explaining to Leo.

" You should really keep your arm in a sling or something." Leo just kept on worrying.

" Leo calm down. I'm fine. You don't need to go all doctor mode on me." When I said the words doctor mode I instantly thought of Donnie. He's usually the doctor of the family. And I pretty sure Leo thought of the same thing.

" No your not fine!" Leo started to raise his voice. But the way he spoke, he wasn't raising his voice at me, he was raising it at himself, " If you were fine your hand wouldn't be broken and you leg wouldn't be burnt. And your not fine, and it's all my fault! It's my fault your hurt, and it's my fault Donnie's hurt." Leo began to blame himself. He was now looking down at the ground holding his head in his hands, " Raph's right. I'm not the fearless leader I pretend to be. I try my best, I try my hardest. But I just can't do it. I'm a terrible big brother."

" Leo." I began and lifted his head up. He was now looking at me, straight in the eyes. His ocean blue eyes all watery and filled with tears. I've never seen them looking so sad, I never seen them shine so bright. They were almost glowing, " It's not your fault that Donnie's hurt. If anything it would be my fault. And your definitely not a terrible big brother. Your the best big brother I've ever seen. And one day, you'll be the best leader there ever was."

Leo smiled at me. His eyes now filled with hope and glee. I let out a little laugh and smiled back at him. Although I could still see fear and sadness in Leo's eyes, this was the most happy I've seen him since Donnie got hurt. And although it's only been a day, it felt like forever.

When ever I needed someone to spark some hope in my life I would turn to Leo and he would turn to me. He was the best at giving me hope. And for once today, I was actually feeling hopeful.

* * *

**Chapter, done! Hope ya enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it. Please review and tell me what you think! It would mean a lot to me! Thanks! :D**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A week went by since Donnie had gotten hurt and he still never woken up. And each day that week I went to see him and I talked to him. Each time in was getting easier to see him, yet it was getting harder. I no longer burst into tears but I felt it in the back of my throat each time. And every day I would talk to him about something new, but I never mentioned the situation with April, not yet at least.

Without Donnie here, things have been different. Everyone has been acting different. Leo still blames himself for what happened, so hes been angry all the time. Raph had gone into this deep depression and rarely leaves his room. But each night we could hear him scream and shout and cry. And the only person he would let in was Lily. Even Mikey been acting weird. He's constantly sad and I don't think he smiled all week. We even postpone training for a little bit. So like I said, everything is different.

Seeing everyone act this way made me sad. I wanted to go do something or talk to somebody that didn't involve how bad everything is. Finally the solution to my problem came.

Lily walked in the lair. She was alone, John must of been busy or something.

" Hey Lily! Your just the person I wanted to see." I nearly jumped out of my seat when she walked through the doors.

" Taylor are you okay?" Lily sounded concerned, " Did you get any sleep last night?"

I looked at her puzzled, then I looked down at myself. I realized how pale I was. It looked like I didn't see the sun in weeks. Well, I never left the lair for a week. And I realized just how tired I was.

" Actually I don't think I got a good sleep for the entire week." I told Lily as she came and sat down beside me on the couch.

" So what's up?" She wondered and started to bite her fingernails. It's a bad habit that Lily always had. I've been trying to get her to stop.

" I just wanted to talk. Get my mind off...things." I explained, " And stop biting your nails."

Lily let out an annoyed sigh and took her nails out of her mouth.

" Okay. So what goes on?" She wondered, thus starting the conversation.

" That's what I wanted to asked you." I began, with a mischievous smile on my face, " What's been going on between you and Raph? Do you guys have like, a thing?"

" Taylor!" Lily shouted my name in a high pitched voice and slapped my arm, " Raph and I don't have a 'thing." As Lily explained she did the whole quotation marks thing with her fingers when she said the word thing.

I looked at her doubtfully. Lily was never a good liar.

" Okay yes. I guess we do have this little thing going on. But you don't have to say it so loudly. Raph doesn't like to admit that we have this thing. I hope you don't think it's weird." Lily lowered her voice to a whisper. Even if Raph was in his room, Lily was always paranoid.

" I knew it!" My voice was a loud whisper, " And really Lily? Out of all people you think I'd think it's weird that you have this thing going on with Raph? I'm dating-or at least use to date one of these turtles."

" Oh yeah right. Sorry, I kinda forgot. So how are you and Donnie doing?" Lily wondered. We were leaning in close together, like to girls at a slumber party telling each other secrets. I guess the her and Raph topic was over.

" Well considering he's out cold, not to well." I replied with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Much like Mikey, Lily has a hard time realizing the obvious.

" I know that. I mean, are you two like, broken up?" Lily had curiosity in her eyes.

" Well we never officially broke up. But it'll be a different story once he wakes up." I explain to Lily and realizing that Donnie and I are still technically dating. _So much for getting my mind off of Donnie._ I thought to myself.

" So where's John?" I wanted to change the subject.

" He had to go into work today."

" On a Sunday?"

" Yeah. They just got a new shipment of Christmas comic books and they wanted to get them on the shelves before Christmas." Lily explaining. Her head looking back and forth between me and Raph's room. We could hear his cries of frustration.

" Christmas comic books already?" I spoke in confusion, " Wait what day is it?"

" The first snowfall day was on Sunday December 8th, it's been a week since then, so it's now Sunday December 15th!" Lily spoke to me like I was a little child.

" Haha, very funny math wiz. Sorry if I've been a bit distracted the past couple of days."

A few minutes past when it was only silence. It wasn't awkward, it was a nice silence. One where we get to appreciate each other, a chance to be thankful that we at least have one other to talk to, about anything. It was quiet until we heard Raph shout again.

" Well, I think I'm gonna go check on Raph." Lily told me and got up off the couch.

" Okay. I think I'm gonna go see Donnie." I got up and walked to Splinter's room.

I entered the training room and then slightly slid open Splinter's doors. He was in his room meditating.

" Sensei?" I was nervous to interrupt Splinter's meditation, but it seems like that all he does lately.

" Yes?" Splinter opened one eye to look at me.

" Do you think I can have a moment alone, with Donnie." I tapped my fingers against his door. I was scared he was going to say no, but that's the worst he could do right?

" Of course." Splinter got up and walked out. I felt bad for kicking him out of his room, but I had to have this conversation with Donnie alone. It's something I had to do.

I walked in and went straight to Donnie's side. I knelt down and once again took his hand in mine.

" Hey Donnie." I began, " I want to talk to you about something. I've been trying to avoid it but I knew I had to do this sooner or later. And I guess it's later. Anyway, I don't know if you can remember, but like a week and a half ago you and I were working of a project. We had a fight, we made up, I said I love you and then you said you love me too, but you called me April. I freaked out and ran to my room. Then we met on a rooftop and we fought again, but that fight was unfinished and well, you know the rest. But-uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. For everything. It's kinda sorta my fault that your in this condition. So, I'm sorry."

I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I might not forgive for calling me April. It's just something I can't let go that easily. But I decided to let it go for now, at least till Donnie wakes up.

" Things have been different around here without you. Leo never talks to anyone but himself, Raph never leaves his room. And Mikey, he's always sad and I barely see him. All he does is play video games in his room all day. We even stopped training for a while. You once told me that you were afraid that you weren't important to you family, and your scared that they don't like you. But Donnie. If you could see this, you'd know that your family needs you Donnie. They fall apart when your not here. So if it's not too much to ask, could you wake up soon?" I knew that I was asking the impossible, Donnie wasn't the one who could choose when he wakes up. But for some reason, I thought it would help.

I sat there in silences for a couple of minutes. Just soaking in all that happened so far. But I couldn't get the thought that this was my fault out of my head. But then again, we all blame ourselves for this. Or at least Leo does.

" Nuhhhh." A moan escaped from Donnie's mouth. I looked up at him quickly. This was the first sound he made in a week. Was he waking up? I was just staring at him in awe until I seen his eyes flicker open. It only lasted a millisecond but I got a glimpse of his gorgeous brown eyes.

" Donnie?" I was afraid that if I talked to loud, I would break him.

There was no response from Donatello. He had lost conscious once again. But at least he gained it for a short two seconds. I had to go tell he others. I kissed Donnie's head and left. I ran out of Splinter's room.

Splinter was meditating in the training room. I ran over to him, this time I wasn't afraid to wake him up.

" Sensei!" I practically shouted. And apparently I shouted louder then I meant to because all three turtles came rushing in, along with Lily.

" What's wrong?" Splinter jumped up from his meditation pillow and was full of worry. Usually Splinter stayed calm in these kind of situations but since I just came out from visiting Donnie, Splinter went into father mode.

" Nothings wrong!" I told them with a big smile on my face, " Donnie he-he moaned and then like, opened his eyes! It was only for a second, but he opened them!" I was so excited that I was stuttering.

When I told them that Donnie opened his eyes, we all joined in for a group hug.

" Sensei?" Mikey's once again cheerful voice spoke. This was the most happy we've heard him all week.

" Yes my son?" You could even here glee in Splinter's voice.

" Does this mean that Donnie's going to be okay?"

" Well healing takes many steps to accomplish." Splinter began once of his wise speeches, " The first step is waking up. And I believe Donatello will succeed in this step."

" Is the second step healing?" Mikey's voice full of curiosity and wonder.

" Yes...and...no. See, the next step is building up the confidence to speak. Many people are ashamed of themselves when they wake up from being unconscious. So to speak, they must heal their mind before healing their wounds."

" Then is the third step healing the actual wounds?"

" Yes Michelangelo, it is." Splinter let out a little chuckle at his sons endless need to at least be right once.

" Oh yeah! Totally called it!" Mikey jumped up and down with joy. And with us still group hugging, Mikey's jumping caused me to hit my hand against who knows what. I let out a little screech of pain.

We immediately stopped hugging and they all looked at me expectantly.

" Guys, it's alright. I just hit my hand." I explained to them, but they didn't look convinced, but Splinter looked confused.

" What happened to your hand?" He wondered. That's when I realized that I never told Splinter about my hand. Since he spent all week in his room, only leaving when someone wanted to visit Donnie.

" Um, the day Donnie and I got taken by Shredder, I was escaping and broke my hand." I explained to Splinter.

" Does it hurt?" Splinter now took my broken hand in his hand and was examining it.

" Yeah I guess it kind hurts. I've just been so distracted that I haven't had time to think about it." I shrugged.

" Wait here." Splinter instructed and walked away stroking his long white beard. He went into his room and emerged from it with Donnie's medical box in his hands, "Give me your hand."

I put my broken hand in Splinter's. He began to unwrapped it. This was the first time I actually felt like crying, this was the most my hand hurt all week. I felt like crying, but I didn't. I was also trying not to flinch.

Splinter finished unwrapping my hand and began to re-wrapping it in proper bandages. He even began to make a sling.

" Sensei, I don't think I need a sling for a broken hand." I tried to convince him that it wasn't necessary but he just kept going.

" We don't want to take any chances."

Knowing not to argue with Splinter, I just stay silent. For a second Splinter reminded me of Donnie, wrapping up bandages on his brothers and what not. But I shook my head to get that thought of my mind. Donnie just almost kinda sorta woke up, I had to stay positive.

" There.' Splinter back away. He didn't sound proud of himself or anything. There was something lacking in his voice. I heard no joy. His son just almost woke up, he was healing. But Splinter didn't sound joyful at all, maybe he knew something that we didn't. But what could it be?

" Nuhhhh." We all heard Donnie's moan come from the other room. There he goes again, another moan. I had so many mix emotions, should I be happy or worried. Happy that he's waking up, or worried for what's to come. I was so caught up with my thoughts that I didn't even notice that everyone was rushing for Splinter's room. I hurried and caught up with them.

Entering Splinter's room, we all gathered around the moaning Donnie. Was he going to wake up? How wonderful would it be if he woke up with his family surrounding him. But after that last moan, nothing happened. I felt a wave of disappointment flooding the room. I felt the knot in the back of my throat begin to rise. But I wasn't going to allow myself to cry. But I felt like I was drowning in the disappointment.

" Dang it!" Raph shouted as loud as his voice would let him and bagged his fist against the wall, " Donnie! Wake the heck up! It's been over a week! Wake up!" And he smashed the wall again.

" Raphael! That's enough!" Splinter scolded his son.

Without a word, the fired up Raph left the room and most likely went to his own.

" Well I think I should head home before my mom starts worrying." Lily announced kinda awkwardly. Just so there wouldn't be any silence. Mikey and Leo followed Lily out. Splinter was about to leave but I stopped him.

" Sensei?" I rarely call him Splinter anymore. He told me that since I've been training for a while I am aloud to call him Sensei.

" Hmm?" Splinter glanced at me before he walked out the door.

" Why aren't you happy that Donnie's getting better." I questioned him with sad eyes.

" I am happy. But there are no guaranties that he'll survive the challenges that are yet to come." Splinter spoke in a nice even tone. Showing no emotion.

" Yeah..." My voice trailed off and I switch my gaze to the floor. I have never really thought about it before now. I was just concentrated on him waking up. But the rest of the healing process never crossed my mind. Now my system was full of worry.

Splinter must of notice my change of emotions because his voice sounded comforting and cheerful at the same time.

" But let's not worry on what's to come. Concentrate on the present. For now, it is a gift." Splinter's wise words of wisdom echoed in my head as he walked out of his room and left me alone. I didn't want to leave Donnie's side. Not now...not ever.

I knelt down beside him and took his hand in my shaky hand. Like I always do before I talk to him. I was upset, but I wasn't going to cry. I already did enough crying. But that knot did not go away and I felt like I was burning up. I was hot and I was tired but most of all I felt empty. I was empty inside. I never heard Donnie's voice for along time and that drained me. And the last time I did hear his caring voice was in Shredder's torture room. And the last thing he said to me was 'me too.'

And with that thought in my head, it broke me. Before I even got a chance to talk to Donnie I began to cry. So through my tears I began to speak.

" Come on Donnie. You can pull through this. I know you can. Your almost there. Just...don't give up now. Please Donnie. I have faith in you. Pull through." It was a short speech, but I couldn't talk anymore. I couldn't bring myself to speak. I was so tired, I didn't have the energy to speak. I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier. I haven't had a good sleep in weeks. They started to droop and then I fell asleep by Donnie's side. But I kept repeating my words to Donnie over and over in my head as I feel asleep.

_I have faith in you. Pull through Donnie. I have faith. _

It was 100% true. I did have faith in Donnie. And my whole life I always lacked in faith. I never used the word because I didn't have faith in anything. That was until now. Until I met Donnie. And now, I have faith in Donnie I have faith in my Donatello. I have faith in him.

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**Not much to say here...just hoped you enjoyed and please please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Two more weeks had gone by and still no Donnie. Everyone spending the days in their rooms. Always so quiet and lonely in the lair. Nobody ever talked to one other anymore. It was so depressing. And like I said, it was quiet. It was quiet until we hear Raph's booming voice ring through out the lair. As for Donnie, Splinter changes Donnie's bandages once a week. But they still get blood soaked. But always not as bad as the last. So he was healing.

I was just in my room reading a book. Trying to calm my nerves but my few moments of piece of interrupted.

" That's it! I can't take it!" Raph cried. And his voice sounded like he just finished sobbing.

I rushed to the living room. I felt pretty weird running. Usually I have both arms by my side going back and forth like every other person does. But now I only have one good arm to run with and I had a little limp. Not a very big one, not very noticeable. Anyway, when I came to the living room. Leo and Mikey were already there, but Splinter was not in this scene.

" What is it now Raph?!" Leo yelled at his younger brother. With Donnie passed out, Leo's temper was just as short as Raph's. When I come to think of it, Donnie really balances them all out.

" Our brother had been knocked out cold for three and a half weeks! And we did nothing to avenge him! Shredder has to pay sooner or later and guess what!? It's later!" Raph had a sarcastic tone to his yelling voice.

" Yeah, but Shredder has done nothing either! We will stay down here till Donnie wakes up! We can't be stupid and go after Shredder!" Leo countered and tried to end the conversation early but Raph didn't give in.

" That's where your wrong Leo! Shredder had done something! He's beaten our brother to death! And now it's our turn to make a move!"

" Donnie's not dead!" Leo's voice sounded more sad then angry now. He refused to believe that Donnie still had a chance to die. Because if one of the turtles die, then the family dies as well, " And we are not going anywhere!"

" Fine. You don't have to. But I'm going no matter what you say. You stupid excuses for a fearless leader." Raph spat a mean remark at Leo and ran at full ninja speed out of the lair.

" Why does he have to be so difficult?!" Leo yelled at the ceiling. Angry with Raph, with himself, with the world.

" Should we go after him?" Mikey's for once quiet voice squeaked. He almost sounded shy.

Leo let out a heavy sigh and responded, " Let's go." And he took off, assuming that we would follow. And he assumed correctly. Mikey and I were right behind him.

It was stormy outside. There was no thunder or lighting, but it was raining, and it was raining hard. Each rain drop felt like a tiny bullet on my skin. But I kept running, we had to catch up with Raph.

We knew Raph would head straight for TCRI so we took a path that would allow us to cut him off. And that's just what we did. Jumping from rooftops, we seen a figure dancing in the night. It seemed in sink with the movement of the shadows. Jumping high into the starless, cloudy, raining sky. And it was no doubt Raph. Only a ninja of his skills could pull that off.

" Raphael!" Leo called his brother's name. Leo no longer sounded angry, or sad. Only worried and desperate. He was desperate for his brother to stop running. He was desperate for his brother's mind to clear up and realize that he was making a stupid decision that could cost him his life.

As Leo called Raph's name, we seen Raph come to a stop. He looked surprise and shocked. We had caught him off his guard. His eyes widen to a point where we could see the little red veins. Raph's eyes where shocked but they also looked like he was trying to apologize through them.

Mikey and I came to a stop about 6 feet away from Raph but Leo kept going. Was he going to hurt Raph? Yell at him again? I don't know if Mikey could take another fight. Especially two in the same night. But they didn't fight or yell. Leo actually went to hug Raph. When he did, Raph hugged back.

Raph's eyes were shifting back and forth. Like he couldn't process what was going on. His bright green eyes glowing under the moonlight, I seen them fill up with tears. And when Raph closed his eyes tightly, those tears became a stream running down his face. Raph was crying.

Raph buried his face into Leo's shoulder. Right now, Raph needed the comfort of his big brother, he needed someone to be there for him, and Leo was right there when Raph needed him the most. The soothing comfort of a older sibling.

" I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I heard Raph mumble to Leo over and over again and buried his face deeper into Leo's shoulder.

" Raph, it's okay." Leo comforted Raph and reassured him. Then Leo glanced back at us and signalled with his head for us to get out of here. I don't think Raph would want to face us all at the same time when he just finished crying. So I took Leo's signal and got out of there. Of course along the way back home I had to explain to a confused Mikey on why we had to leave.

When we returned home, none of us knew what to do next, so we just kinda stood there, waiting for the two older turtles to come home.

" What do ya want to do?" Mikey attempted to imitate his old happy self but I could see through his mask. I could hear the sadness in his voice. Which was a little scary. Mikey's the one I always turn to when I need a laugh. But now, Mikey was the one who needed the laugh.

" Mikey, can I ask you a question?" I wondered.

" Sure."

" Have you went to visit Donnie since he got hurt, by your self?" I asked with concern in my voice. I already knew the answer. But I had a feeling that if Mikey actually sad it out loud, it might help him.

Mikey look down at the grown. Ashamed of himself, he responded.

" No." Mikey's voice was so quiet that I barely heard him.

" Don't you think that he would appreciate a visit from his only little brother?" I spoke to him like I was speaking to a child. In a calm, soft, caring way.

" No." Mikey voice was fragile. Ready to break at any point.

" Why not?" I looked down at him trying to make eye contact.

" Because he doesn't like me." Mikey looked up at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. His baby blue eyes full of tears.

" What makes you think that?" I was a little shocked at Mikey answer. Why wouldn't Donnie like him? Mikey's adorable! With his freckles on his cheeks, and his big eyes, wide smile? How could you dislike like?

" Because I annoy him so much. I make him angry and and and." Mikey started to stutter. Trying to fight back his tears.

" Mikey. It's a little brothers job to annoy their older brothers. Plus Donnie adores you. He told me himself. Mikey, no matter how annoying you get, your brother will always love you no matter what."

" But Donnie doesn't annoy Raph or Leo." Mikey counter but I could see it in his eyes that he was cheering up.

" Believe it or not. He does. But in his own techno way. Like he bores Raph and Leo all the time with his 'technically' speeches. I bet that's annoying to them." I explained to Mikey.

" Taylor?"

" Yeah Mikey."

" Can I ask you a question now?"

" Sure, anything."

" What did you and Donnie fight about?" Mikey's curious eyes looked deep into mine.

" I-uh..." I was at lost for words, " I think I should wait till Donnie wakes up to see if we're gonna tell people." I said the first reason that I could think off. I didn't want to tell Mikey about mine and Donnie's fight. Especially Mikey. I didn't want to change his thoughts on how he sees me, or Donnie. I couldn't do that to him. So I made up an excuse and hoped that he would except it.

" I guess that makes sense." Mikey looked down at the ground, disappointed.

" I'm gonna go read my book." I stated. Trying to lighten up mood somehow.

" Okay. Wait Taylor?" Mikey called after me.

" Yeah Mikey?"

" Two things. Do you think you could read in the living room?"

" Sure Mikey."

" And uh. When is Christmas?"

I felt my eyes go wide.

" Umm, Mikey. Christmas was 4 days ago, its December 29th today." I told him. Afraid that he might be sad. I couldn't believe that we had by passed Christmas. How did I let it slip my mind?

" Oh good." I heard a little hint of joy in his voice. Now I was confused.

" Good?" I raised an eyebrow.

" Yeah. I was hoping that we could wait for Donnie to celebrate Christmas." Mikey said distractedly while picking up a comic book from off the floor.

A smile crept across my face. Mikey was the sweetest little brother ever. Anybody would be lucky to have him as a little brother.

I stood there for a few more moments, just watching Mikey pick up his comic books. But then I continued to my room, got my book, and sat beside Mikey on the couch and began to read.

Mikey and I read our books for a good half an hour. That was until I started up the conversation again.

" Hey Mikey?"

" Yeah?" Mikey didn't look up from his comic when he spoke.

" Where's Leo and Raph? Did they come home yet?" I asked. I was looking around the room for them but found nothing.

" Uh, Now that you mention it. I don't think they have." Mikey just got the sudden realization that I did.

" Where do you think they ar-" I got cut off by approaching footsteps. We turned around to face the entrance and seen Leo and Raph running in all out of breath.

" Dudes! We were just talking about you. Where have you been?" Mikey wondered and ran over to his brothers. I followed him.

" We...ran into...some...foot." Leo looked up from the ground and said between pants.

" Are you guys okay?" I asked frantically.

" Yeah. We're fine." Raph answered. He was panting as well.

" Well that's go-" I got cut off once again but this time by Leo.

" Shh." Leo shushed me.

" Did you jus-"

" Shh." Leo shushed me again, " Do you guys hear that?"

We all got quiet and tried to listen to what Leo was hearing. It sounded like foot steps. That's when we understood why we had to be quiet. So we all nodded in response. Leo signalled for us to get against the wall. So that's what we all did.

The footsteps came closer and closer. Leo started to count to three with his fingers. A signal for us to get ready to jump out. And when he reached three. That's just what we did. And when we jumped out of our sewer home and into the halls. Karai was standing right in front of us.

" Karai?" Leo shouted as Karai's eyes went wide. I don't think she was expecting us to jump out. But she was ready and Karai got out her katana as the turtles got out their weapon. I still remained weaponless.

Karai didn't say a word and just began to charge us with her sword by her side. But did she really think she could take out three of the turtles and myself? She could probably take out me with ease, but the turtles wouldn't let that happen.

It was a quick fight. She was obviously was tired. I'm guessing that she was part of the foot fight Leo and Raph were talking about. It took about three strikes before Karai was down and passed out. She was definitely not on her a-game.

" What do we do with her?" Mikey asked while looking down at Karai.

" Do we return her to Shredder?" I questioned. Not sure what Leo's plan was.

" No." Leo answered and looked at all of us. " We keep her here."

" Oh yeah sure. Great idea Leo! Keep the enemy in our lair!" Raph shouted with sarcasm.

" No. I mean like hold her hostage. Remember the tube the krang once kept us in. Because we couldn't breath their air? Well remember Donnie replicated it. If he stills has it, we can keep Karai in there. This could be our ticket out of Shredder's enemy list. He'll want his daughter back and we'll only give her back when he agrees to leave us and New York alone." Leo explained his master plan with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

" It's never gonna work." Raph countered.

" Just give it a try." Leo's response wasn't a plea, it was more like a demand.

Raph let out a sigh and gave in. Leo nodded in satisfaction and picked up Karai and began to carry her in.

We all walked in Donnie's lab and found the giant glass tube thing very easily. It was huge. I wanted to get out of Donnie's lab as soon as possible. It brought back to many memories. And I have the feeling that they wanted to get out too. So we all helped out and pushed the tube into the living room. Since someone's always in the living room, someone could always keep an eye on Karai.

We opened up the tube and put Karai in it. We sat her up so when she woke up she wouldn't be sore. Even if we did kidnap her, we wanted her to be some what comfortable. Then we closed and locked it.

" So what now?" Mikey wondered.

" We wait." Leo simply responded. But in the end Mikey still got confused.

" For what?" Mikey asked, rubbing his head.

" For Karai to wake up. We should take shifts. You know, watching her." Leo got into more detail for his youngest brother.

" Who's gonna take the first shift?" I questioned.

" I'll take the first shift." Leo didn't offer, it was more like a state of fact, " Raph, you take second, Taylor you take third, and Mikey, you'll take fourth."

" What about fifth?" Mikey asked. He didn't sound like he was joking. So Mikey seriously didn't get it. This caused both Leo and Raph to face palm themselves.

" Mikey," I spoke in a soft caring voice, " You're the last shift. So after you it repeats. So after you it'll be Leo's turn." I explained the best I could.

" But Leo has first shift..." Mikey was still processing what I had just said.

" Just watch over Karai after me okay?" I started to get annoyed but tried to contain myself.

" Can do." Mikey smile and gave me a thumbs up as he responded.

* * *

It was my turn to watch over Karai. Each shift is about an hour. And for the first 45 minutes, nothing happened. I was just reading a book. That was until I heard movement from the cage. I glanced over but Karai made no sound. So I ignore it.

'ploump.'

The noise came again. And this time I got up and walked over to Karai. I tapped on the tube. Karai had looked up at me. Karai was awake.

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**New chapter! Okay so I had a lot of technical difficulties with this one, so sorry about any double spaces between lines or words or stuff like that. But anyway, happy 30th anniversary of the turtles! It's pretty cool since the show is turning 30 on the 30th of March...Anywho! As celebration I just might post another chapter today. So, please enjoy and review! Thanks! :)**


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Karai got up, then fell back down.

'ploump'

That was the sound that I heard before. How long has she been awake? I was just standing there staring at her as she was staring back at me. Now realizing how creeping I must have looked, I broke eye contact.

" Guys! Karai's awake!" I shouted to them. And I went back to staring at her. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of her. But I changed my glare to the turtles when they came rushing in. They all looked at Karai and she was shifting her eyes between each of us.

" Karai." Leo was the first to speak, " What's new?" There was a hint of satisfaction in his tone.

" Very funny Leo. But I'm not in the mood. Now if you could just let me go. I'll be on my way." Karai spoke flatly.

" Wait. We captured you. And now you expect us to let you go?" Raph spoke this time.

Karai knew that she had made a stupid request so she immediately change the subject.

" So this is where the famous turtles live." She stated and looked around the lair. Then her eyes went a little wide and a evil grin happened upon her face. Like she got a sudden idea, " Say, where's the techno turtle?"

I knew Karai had did that on purpose because she already knew what happened to Donnie. But I never told anyone about how Karai was there that night. Karai was playing a dangerous game, obviously she wanted to push some buttons and pull some strings.

None of us was amused on how Karai was playing this game. Raph just grunted and stormed off to his room. Lily was nowhere in sight and probably still enjoying the after parties of Christmas, so I would have to handle Raph myself. I decided that I wanted to know what was going on.

Leo blames himself for everything, Mikey's afraid that Donnie doesn't like him, but with Raph? I had no idea. So I left the Karai situation to Leo and Mikey and went after Raph. When I came to his room, his curtain was fully closed and I didn't think he was about to let me in.

" Raph? Are you okay?" I spoke calmly.

" Go. Away!" Raph yelled back at me. But I wasn't going to go away. I wasn't going to give up yet.

" Come on Raph. Let me in. I just want to talk." I pleaded my case but I don't think I convinced him.

There was no response from Raph. So that's when I decided to just walk in.

" Okay. I'm coming in." I warned Raph before entering his room. He didn't respond so that means he didn't object. I walked in his room and closed the curtain behind me. I seen Raph in the corner, curled up in a little ball holding his head. He was crying. I had no idea that Raph was so emotional.

" Raph." I went over to him and sat down beside him.

" I told you to go away." Raph spoke in a muffled voice.

" I needed to talk to you. What's going on?" I wondered. I didn't want to push to hard but I had to know what was going on in his head, " Why are you so upset?"

" Uh maybe because my brother is dying." Raph had a uh duh tone to his voice. But at least he was opening up.

" Yeah but-" I began but Raph interrupted me. Just as I hoped.

" But nothing. Donnie doesn't deserve this. It should be me in his place." Raph buried his face in his knees.

" Why?" My voice was hushed. It was like I was speaking to a young child.

" Why?" Raph gave a little chuckle. But his chuckle was sad, " Because I would be able to pull through this, all of it. Donnie's strong, but I'm stronger. I would be able to pull through no doubt. But Donnie? I have my doubts." Raph gave me an explanation, but I still felt like there was more to it. So I kept pushing.

" Is that it?" I wondered. I knew I was pushing Raph to his breaking point. But maybe that's what he needed.

" No. It should be me because, I'm his older brother. Older brothers need to look out for their younger ones. And I didn't do a very good job." Sobs were no escaping Raph's lips.

" Then does that mean Leo should be in Donnie's place instead?"

" No! Mikey and Donnie need at least one good older brother." Raph explained to me between his tears. I was now holding him in my arms. What surprised me was that Raph let me do it too.

" So your saying that your not good enough." I spoke more to myself then anyone else. Because I knew now what everyone was going through.

" I'm not good enough. And I'll never be good enough. I'll always be known as the mean brother, the bad one." Raph just kept on going and going. Once he's opened up, he doesn't stop. And that's what I wanted because now I could cheer him up...somehow.

" Raph, your not a terrible brother. You'll give your life for your family. And wishing it was you and not Donnie who got beaten. That's not mean. That's kind and sweet and nice. Your a great big brother." My speech reminded me of the one I had with Leo. That just proves how much Raph and Leo are alike.

Raph looked up at me. His eyes were wet, but they were sparkling. And they looked happy.

" Thanks Taylor." Raph smiled at me. It was a rare occasion that Raph actually smiled.

" No problem. Any time." I reassured Raph and got up. It felt like the appropriate time to leave. I felt Raph needed to be alone with his thoughts for a while.

" Taylor." Raph called to me before I left, " Do you think we can keep this our secret?"

I smiled at him and nodded. He smiled back at me then I left. I went to go rejoin Leo and Mikey. They were still explaining to Karai what happened, or just finished. I walked over and asked...

" Is she all caught up?"

Leo turned to face me and responded...

" Yup."

" Good." I stated.

" So I'm your prisoner huh?" Karai looked at me when she asked. Even if it sounded she was speaking to everyone, she directed it at me.

" Yup, pretty much." I told her.

" Can I at least get some food and water?" Karai was once again speaking to everyone.

" Sure." Leo responded and sent Mikey to the kitchen.

" I'm gonna go visit Donnie before going to bed." I explained to Leo.

Leo just nodded and then I was off. I climbed up the steps to get to the training room and then I knocked on Splinter's door. He was the only one who had a door to his room. It was two huge sliding doors. So when I knocked, Splinter answered and just walked out. He knew that I wanted to be alone with Donnie. So he just left and went to finish his meditation in the training room. It seems like that all he does anymore.

Anyway, I walked into his room and went to kneel beside Donnie. But before I spoke, I just watched him. I watched him inhale, I watched him exhale. And I knew there would always be hope for Donnie as long as he was breathing.

" Hey Donnie." I began, " I finally got Raph to open up to me. So now I know what everyone's thinking. Well almost everyone. I never tried with Splinter, I don't think he would like it if he opened up to a child. And I don't know what your thinking. I wish I did. I wish I knew if you could hear me. I hope you can and I think you can. So I'm gonna keep talking to you every day until you wake up. Anyway, Leo blames himself for your injuries, Mikey thinks you hate him, and Raph thinks that he's not good enough." I told him. I know I promised Raph to not tell anyone, but I didn't telling an unconscious Donnie counted.

" So uh Donnie. I was wondering if you could wake up soon. I know you can't control it but it's been a month now, and we miss you." I didn't want to dampen the mood so I decided to change the subject, " We captured Karai today. We're gonna keep her as prisoner until Shredder promises to leave us alone. Raph doesn't think it will work. But since Leo is the leader, he kinda just has to suck it up. And for me. I have no idea if it will work."

" Nuhhhh." Donnie moaned. And his moan just sparked hope in my system. I took his hand and spoke...

" Come one Donnie. You can pull through. Wake up. Wake up." But as I cheered, nothing happened. I felt my heart sink.

And right now I hated my heart..or my brain. I didn't know if I should hate my heart or my brain. I mean an organ can't be responsible for feelings right? It'll have to be your brain. But then why do our hearts beat faster and feel all weird inside our chest when we're near the person we love? Why do our hearts ache when we're sad? Is it our brain telling our hearts to feel that way? I don't know how that works but I do know one thing, I hate my brain and my heart. Why did I have to fall in love with a mutant turtle?

I knew now that there was no doubt that I still love Donnie but something inside of me won't let me forgive him. And that's another reason why I hate my heart. It's the one that's telling me to love Donnie and yet at the same time hate him. And right now, I don't know what I feel.

" Nuhhhh." Donnie let out another moan. I looked up from the ground.

" Open your eyes, open your eyes." I whispered to myself and to Donnie. I didn't know who I was talking to. But nothing happened. I decided it was time for me to leave and go to bed, but before I left I had one more thing to say to him, " Alright Donnie. When your ready you can wake up. Because I know your gonna pull through, your gonna make it through another night."

After that I got up and began to walk away but Donnie yet again let out another moan and his breaths began to speed up. I ran back to side. Now breathing heavily and quickly I didn't know if Donnie was waking up or dying. I looked at the door and I tried to yell for help but my voice would not allow me to speak. So I just glanced back at Donnie. He was breathing really fast, and then suddenly his eyes jerked opened.

He blinked a few times and didn't close his eyes again. He was awake. Donnie was alive. I let go of his hand, jumped up, and put my hands over me mouth to stop myself from crying. But it didn't work. I burst out crying. But this time with joy.

" Donnie?" I called out to him. My voice was horsed and my legs were shaking. I couldn't believe that he was awake. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming.

After I called to him. He looked in my direction. At first he looked all dazed out and was still processing what was going on and where he was. But after a few moments, the way he looked at me changed. He gave me this funny look and almost looked confused. And then he spoke. His voice was shaky but that wasn't what shocked me. It was what he said...

" Wh-who are you?"

* * *

**So this chapter isn't exactly the longest, but I thought this was a good place to end it :). Sorry if I'm being evil, I just haven't had a real cliff hanger yet so...here it is! Hope you don't hate me and please review! :D**


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Donnie's words struck like lighting through my veins. It was painful, it stung and it hurt like heck. I didn't, I couldn't understand what he meant. I didn't want to know what he meant by who am I. What did he mean? He couldn't have asked who am I, he didn't. I just misunderstood. I was in denial.

" Wh-who are you?" Donnie repeated. And in my mind I begged him to stop, " Are you suppose to be in the lair. Do my brothers know your here? Where are my brothers? Are they okay? What about April? Did she leave yet?" Donnie threw question after question at me. But I didn't answer one of them. I was still in shock.

My silence must of worried Donnie because he started to struggle out of bed.

" Donnie. What are you doing?" I acted like he never asked me any of those questions. Hoping that it wasn't true.

" I have to stop April from leaving..." Donnie answered and tried to get out of bed but just fell on the floor. He screamed in pain.

" Guys Donnie's awake!" I shouted as loud as I could to the turtles. It only took seconds for them to all rush in, including Master Splinter.

" What happened to me?" Donnie screamed in pain, " What happened? Where am I?" Donnie screamed once again and held his head like someone was eating his brain and kicking him over and over again. Every movement he made, made him scream and then eventually, he began to cry. Tears streamed down his face as Donnie sobbed. He cried out of pain, out of worry, and cried because he was scared.

I tried to rush by his side but Leo and Raph held me back as Splinter tended to Donnie. This was a time that I had to be there for him, I couldn't fail him, not again.

" Donnie!" I screamed his name and reached out for him. This brought back that terrible memory of the time I first failed to be there for Donnie. The night of the Shredder. That just made me fight more but now, Leo and Raph dragged me out of the room. Leo went back in right away but Raph stayed with me for a moment.

" Let me back in! I have to help him!" I smashed my one good hand against Raph's chest but he didn't flinch. Finally, Raph grabbed my hand and held it close to his chest.

" Taylor you have to listen to me! The best way you can help Donnie is to stay out this! Sensei will handle it!" Raph shouted back at me but it a caring way.

" But why doesn't Donnie remember me?!" I screamed at Raph expecting him to have the answer even when I knew he doesn't.

" What do you mean?" Raph was no longer yelling at me.

" When Donnie woke up. The first thing he did was ask me who I was. Why doesn't he remember?" I was so upset that I gave in to gravity as it pulled me into Raph's big, comforting arms.

" I-I don't know." Raph sounded just as surprised as I was when I heard Donnie ask me who I was.

Telling Raph the story just made me bawl even harder and I buried my face into his chest as he held me tighter. I felt Raph breaths speed up and his heart beat increased. Finally I heard little sobs come out of his mouth as Raph began to cry.

We must of stood there for a good 20 minutes. But after a while, Mikey, Leo, and even Splinter came out of the room.

" What happened?" I asked eagerly but I stayed in Raph's arms.

" We don't know. Donnie won't speak to any of us." Leo sounded so hurt when he spoke. And his eyes were no different, they were full of hurt and tears.

" But he does listen." Splinter began, " I told him not to worry about anything but rest. He is asleep right now. We will not bother him till morning. Understand?" Splinter spoke sternly. He was obviously hurt as well.

We all nodded.

" In the mean time. All of you, come with me." Splinter instructed and walked away. We all followed. And as we were walking, I realized that Mikey hasn't said a word all this time.

We walked through the living room and Karai noticed that we all had tears in our eyes. She made no comment, she just looked concerned, none of us even glanced at Karai, I don't think Splinter even noticed she was here. But we didn't stop in the living room, we continued to the kitchen. We all took a seat and it reminded me of one of those big office meetings. With Splinter at the head of the table.

" What?" I questioned. They were all looking at me expectantly.

" Did Donnie say anything to you when he first woke up?" Even though Splinter was at the head of the table, Leo was the one to speak. His voiced cracked as he tried fight against his emotions.

" Yeah. He asked me who I was." Just mentioning what had happened brought tears to my eyes. But I continued anyway, " Then he asked me if I was suppose to be here, if you guys knew, if you guys were okay, was April okay, If April left yet." My breaths started to speed up. But Raph put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It calmed me down.

" So what? Does he not remember you or something?" Leo questioned.

" I guess not." I looked down at the ground. I couldn't stand the thought that after all Donnie and I been through, he would forget.

" Memory loss." Mikey's voice rang from the other side of the table.

" What?" I asked him. Still having trouble that Mikey actually knew something helpful.

" Donnie must have memory loss." Mikey repeated himself but more clearly this time. Mikey sounded so sad. I could still see the path of dried tears that stained his cheeks.

" I don't think so. I mean, he remember you guys. And he remembers...April." I hesitated to say Aprils name. There was to much meaning behind her name.

" Well you don't have to lose all your memory to have memory loss." Leo stated.

" Yeah. I guess not." My voice was quiet. No higher then a whisper.

The conversation just kinda died after that. So we decided to postpone it till later and all go to bed. Raph was the first one to leave the kitchen, he ran out in a flash with hands to his mouth. This isn't usually like Raph, he would be the one to contain his emotions and let them out through his temper. But to run out of the room almost in tears? We all knew Raph was really upset.

* * *

I crawled into bed but I didn't close my eyes. To many things was on my mind. But before I could even begin to think. I heard a knock at my door. Or, my wall. Since I have a curtain, there was no door to knock on. Anyway, I got up and pulled open my curtain. To my surprise, Mikey was standing in my doorway. I could see the dried tear marks on his freckled cheeks, and new ones forming.

" Yeah Mikey?" I questioned him. Wondering what he could possibly want at this hour.

" Taylor? Can I stay in your room tonight?" Mikey sounded younger then he actually is. Even if he is 16 now, the way he spoke, he sounded so much younger.

" Uh, sure Mikey. But I only have a one person bed." I explained as nicely as I could to Mikey.

" That's okay. I brought my sleeping bag and pillow." Mikey explained and walked into my room, inviting himself in.

Mikey made himself comfortable on the floor and crawled into his bright orange sleeping bag. And I crawled back into my bed. I looked down at Mikey and he looked back up at me. Neither one of us could sleep.

" How ya doing Mikey?" I started the conversation, " You know. With all of this."

" Honestly? Not very well. Do you think Donnie is going to be okay?" Mikey answered me in the sweetest of ways. He sounded so innocent. This brought tears to my eyes. I've been very emotional lately.

" I don't know Mikey. I hope so. I mean I hope Donnie doesn't have memory lost. I don't want Donnie to forget me." I let the tears flow down my face. When Mikey saw he immediately jumped up on my bed and began to comfort me. I didn't fight it as Mikey was rocking me back and forth.

So there we were. Sitting on my bed, late at night, both of us crying. I felt Mikey's heart pound in his chest. And that just reminded me how much my heart ached. And then I began to think...

_What if Donnie really is suffering from memory lost. What will happen? How far back does he remember? Does he remember anything? It seemed so. I mean he remembered who he is, his brothers, he even remembered...April. So why did Donnie only forget me?_

* * *

**Sorry for the late chapter guys, I really have no excuse, just lazy I guess. But, to make it up to you I'll post a new chapter tomorrow morning. Anyway please review!**


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke up the next morning in my bed in Mikey's arms. We had fallen asleep comforting each other. For a brief moment, I felt all warm and happy inside. Seeing Mikey asleep was one of the cutest things I would probably ever see. But that warm feeling faded as I remembered that Donnie might have memory loss.

I grabbed my T-phone, that Donnie had made me along time ago, off of my side table. The time read, 6:13am. I sighed. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't sleep in. But I don't know how I even got to sleep last night at that fact.

***buzz**

The screen of my phone lite up and it said that I had a text from Lily. I unlocked my phone and the text read...

You up yet?

**Yes. Why I you up so early?**

Couldn't sleep. You know, to many thoughts going on in my head.

**Same problem. Guess what?**

What?

**Donnie's awake.**

REALLY? HOW LONG WAS HE UP FOR?

**He woke just last night. But...**

BUT WHAT!?

**He might have memory loss. We're not sure yet.**

I'll be right over, bringing John, conversation NOT OVER YET!

I smiled at the screen. Lily was always so dramatic when it came to texting. She was never afraid to use caps. Also, Lily isn't very patient. She wouldn't let me explain through text messages about what happened with Donnie last night. It had to be done it person. Plus she was going to wake up John too. And all of this made me smile. It felt nice to smile again. I hadn't done it in a long time.

I scooted out of bed. Being extra careful not to wake up Mikey. The poor guy needed his sleep. I walked out of my room and headed for the living room. When I got there, Leo was sitting on the couch. His eyes were red and he had dark circles under them.

" Leo?" I was puzzled. Why was he up so early?, " What are you doing up?"

Leo looked up at me. He had been staring at the floor, deep in his own thoughts.

" I could ask you the same question." Leo countered. There was no humour in his voice like there would have been.

" Did you even go to sleep last night?" I sat down beside and looked at him with concern.

" No not really. Couldn't sleep..." Leo was about to continue his sentence but I knew exactly what he was going to say.

" To many thoughts going on in your head?" I wondered if he had the same problem that both Lily and I had.

" Yeah. Plus someone had to keep an eye on Karai." Leo explained himself.

I glanced over at Karai as Leo was speaking. She was sound asleep in her giant glass tube.

" Have you checked on Donnie yet?" I wondered and converted my attention back to him.

" No. Not yet." Leo looked back down at the ground.

" Is Splinter sleeping in his room?" I questioned. Wondering if Splinter was already with Donnie.

" No. He's sleeping in the training room." Leo explained.

" Did you sleep on the couch?" I asked.

" Yeah."

" Why didn't you sleep in your room?" I wondered.

" I dunno." Leo shrugged.

At first I wondered why he didn't just sleep in Donnie's room then. But then I realized that Leo probably wouldn't want to. In fact no of us would want to. For some reason, it felt...wrong.

" Lily and John are on their way over. They want to know what happened with Donnie." I explained to Leo. I couldn't handle any silences right now. Silences meant time for my mind to think. And I don't like the thoughts that it has.

" There already up?" Leo sounded surprised. He knew that Lily likes to wake up early. But never this early. And John usually likes to sleep in till after lunch. And since it's still Christmas vacation, John was going to hate Lily for waking him up.

I opened my mouth to speak but Lily's voice boomed down the sewers and into the lair.

" We're here!" She shouted as she dragged a half asleep John into the lair and plopped down on the couch.

" Lily. Now can you tell me why we're hear so early?" John grumbled.

" You didn't explain to him?" I asked Lily. I couldn't believe that she had dragged John into the sewers and not even told him what was going on.

" I was in a rush. Didn't have time." Lily defended herself and stuck her hands up in a I surrender position.

" Donnie's awake." I looked at John as I told him. He went from almost falling asleep on the floor to fully wake in seconds.

" Is he okay?!" John shouted a little louder then necessary.

" That's what we need to find out." I explained to my friends kinda shyly.

" Oh." John went from loud to quiet to curious as he asked, " Who's that chic?" And he pointed to the sound asleep Karai.

" That's Karai. We captured her. It's a long story." Leo answered for me.

" When can we go see Donnie?" Lily was not ready to give up on the Donnie conversation.

" I don't know." I told them, " We should probably wait until everyone is up."

Lily didn't hesitate to jump up off the couch and rushed for everyone's room. Moments later, she came back with a grumpy Raph and a sleepy eyed Mikey. And this time, Lily was explaining to them what her and John was doing here.

" Shouldn't we see if Donnie's awake first?" Mikey suggested as a big yawn escaped from his mouth.

" Then come on! Let's see if hes awake." Lily ran off to the training room. We all shrugged and followed her. This wasn't exactly the way I imagined how we would see Donnie for the first day, but at least it's something right?

We walked into the training hollow and Splinter sat right up. He didn't asked questions as we approached his room.

Each step I was taking, every step getting closer and closer, I was getting more nervous. I was rarely nervous to talk to Donnie. Except, this wasn't Donnie. This wasn't the Donnie I know and love. That Donnie lying in Splinter's bed isn't my Donnie.

When we came to Splinter's room. Before I entered I stopped dead in the track. My feet gave up on me and wouldn't move, they wouldn't take another step. This caused Leo to bump into me.

" Taylor? You okay?" He didn't sound mad or frustrated at all. When something was wrong, with any of us, Leo always knew. And this time, something was wrong.

" I-I can't go in there." I didn't hesitate to tell Leo. I know that out of anybody, he would understand the most.

" Why not?" Now standing beside me and he put a hand on my shoulder.

" I can't face him. What if he really doesn't remember me? I-I don't think I could-" I started to explain myself but I got cut off.

" It's okay." Leo stopped me before I could finish my sentence. It was hurting me to admit it out loud, and Leo must of heard the pain in my voice. So I was thankful that he stopped me, " You can wait out here if you want. Come in when your ready."

I nodded my head. To afraid that if I spoke, I would burst into tears. And then Leo would stay and comfort me and he might miss his chance to see Donnie. So I would have to fight this one alone. But then again, Donnie has to fight this battle alone. I mean we'll be there for him and all. But we can't help him heal. And here I am. I'm not in there comforting him because I'm afraid? I was being selfish. I was going to go in.

But before I could take even just one step, the door to Splinter's room opened and I seen Mikey standing in the doorway, fresh tears in his eyes.

" We need you to come in." Mikey choked up as the tears began to fall.

I immediately walked in with Mikey. I seen all of them standing around Donnie. When I joined their circle, I seen all of their eyes filled with tears. Even Splinter was crying. I looked at Donnie, he was still staring up at the ceiling. Not making any eye contact, not acknowledging that we're here. Just lost in thoughts.

" We all tried talking to him. But he won't talk back. We thought you might want to give it a try." Leo explained, choking on his own words.

I hesitated for a bit. But then I remembered my little selfish speech that I had with myself and decided to try. But I couldn't do it with all these people around. Plus maybe that's why Donnie won't talk. Maybe he's too nervous.

" Okay. I'll tried. But -uh- do you think I could do it alone?"

" Of course." Splinter answered. Even when he's crying, he still sounded like the Sensei he's suppose to be.

I felt a little bad for kicking them out. And they were all a little hurt that Donnie wouldn't talk to them. But I had to do this alone. I knelt down beside Donnie, like I always did when I talked to him. And so I began.

" Hey Donnie." And as I began I seen Donnie's eyes go a little wide and then back to normal. He shifted his eyes towards me and when he met my gaze, he quickly turned away, " I know that you probably don't remember me, and that it's a little weird that I'm talking to you. But I-uh-we just want to help you. But we can't help you if you don't talk to us. So do you think could at least say something, anything?" I pleaded him.

Nothing happened.

" Come on Donnie. I know your still in there. Just come out. It'll be okay. Just let me in." I chose my wise words of comfort carefully. Just saying the wrong thing could ruin this whole thing. But when I spoke, I wasn't speaking to the memory loss Donnie. I was speaking to my Donnie, the Donnie that remembered me. I knew he was still in there somewhere. I just had to find him.

It took a few moments but Donnie turned his head to face me. The hurt and worry in his brown eyes shook my system. This made the tears in my eyes come down my face.

" What happened to me?" Donnie's voice was horsed and crackly. It was obvious that it hurt him to talk.

" I don't think that's the right place to begin. Do you mind, if I start?" I wondered. I didn't want to push Donnie past his limit, I at least got him to talk,but to actually help him, I would have to ask the right questions.

Donnie nodded his head. But when he did he closed his eyes tightly. I seen hot tears stream down his face. I don't think this family ever cried so much.

" How far back do you remember?" I asked him the ideal question. The one that would start this journey and be repeated all through out.

Donnie breathed in a sharp breath and the exhaled as he was preparing to speak.

" The last thing I remember is April. She was walking away. Saying that she was leaving and then...then.." Donnie let out a tiny scream, like remembering was one of the most painful things he ever experience. And for all I know, it could be.

" Then what?" I urged. I was on a roll and wasn't about to stop. I had to do this for Donnie, the old Donnie that I know is still inside.

" That's it. That's all I remember." Donnie told me sadly.

" Oh. So you really don't know who I am, do you?" I looked down at the ground. I knew Donnie wouldn't remember much, but to remember this little?

" No. I don't. Sorry." He apologized.

" Well my name is Taylor. Just so you know." I told him. After that, it fell into a deep silence.

" Now, can you tell me, what happened?" I was surprised that Donnie kept going. But one thing I couldn't understand. He didn't talk to his family, so why did he talk to me? He doesn't even remember me.

" Now is not the time. We're gonna do this little by little. Baby steps." I made up the first reason I could think of. I didn't want to tell him the real reason why.

" Okay." Donnie obviously didn't feel like talking anymore. So I decided to leave.

" Before I go." I continued, " Can I ask you one more thing?"

" Sure."

" Why me? Why not talk to one of your family members? You don't even remember me, so why talk to me and not them?" I asked the question that had been in my head this entire time.

" I can't face them," Donnie began, " I disappointed them, I should have been stronger. I don't even know how I got like this."

" There something else." I told him, a point of fact, I knew there was something else, there had to be. Just the tone he was using, I could tell.

"Well because I-uh-your voice. It sounds so familiar. I don't know-remember, where I heard it before but it sounds like someone I could just talk to about anything. Not worrying about any judgement. You just sound like someone I would have talked to about anything." Donnie's explanation made me smile.

" Thanks." I said and I walked out of the room and I seen all of them waiting. They had been in the other room the entire time.

" We heard everything." Leo began.

" You were very brave." Splinter finished Leo's statement.

" Yeah." I looked down at the ground. I didn't want to let them see me cry. I mean I know they seen me cry before, but this time was...different. I felt Lily come over and comfort me.

" So, he lost his memory." Leo didn't asked a question. He said it like a point of fact.

" So what are we going to do about it?" Mikey wondered.

" Everything we can." Splinter explained to his youngest son, " We will do our research, we will read books about it. We will try everything that we can to help Donatello."

" Yeah. That brainiac is bound to have a book or two on memory loss in his library." Raph was the one who tried to lighten the mood. Which was rare for him.

" So it's settled then. We should split up into two teams." Leo began, " Taylor, John, and myself will go to Donnie's lab to try to find something. Raph, Lily, Mikey, you guys do the research on the web."

We all agreed at set off to our little stations. We decided to start right away. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll finish.

Splinter was going to stay in the training room, to see if Donnie needed anything.

So Leo, John, and I headed off for Donnie's lab. When we entered we went straight over to his ginormous book shelf. It's filled with books. All non-fiction. Donnie had a second one, that was filled with fiction books. I've never seen so many books in my life. And he sorts it all in alphabetical order.

" M, m, m." I said to myself. Trying to find a memory loss book in the m-section, " Aha!" I found a memory loss book.

" Guys I found one!" I shouted to everyone. Leo and John came running over to me. We searched through the book frantically. Trying to find somewhat useful information. We searched and searched through that book, we searched for a few hours actually. That was until we found something.

" There are three types of memory loss." I began to read the text out loud, balancing the book on my arm and flipping the pages with my good hand. " Temporary loss, Minor loss, and Extreme loss." I continued to read, " Temporary loss is when you lose your memory but usually regain it overnight. Minor loss is when you lose your memory but you can revive it by looking at familiar things. Such as pictures or locations. Extreme loss when you lose your memory completely and barely remember who you are."

" So my guess would be that Donnie has minor loss." John shared his opinion. Leo and I both agreed

" Should we go tell the others?" I wondered. Leo nodded his head an lead the way out. We found Lily, Mikey and Raph gathered around Donnie's laptop, staring at the screen intensely and sitting on the couch.

" Find anything?" John called out. They all turned to face us.

" Nothing we didn't already know." Lily replied flatly, " You guys have any luck?"

" Yes actually. We found out that Donnie might have minor memory loss." I explained.

" What's that?" Mikey questioned.

" It's when you remember some stuff about your life but not all of it. You can revive your memory by looking at familiar things, such as picture and locations." I quoted the book. And tried explain it so Mikey would understand.

" So, that's all we have to do? Show him some pictures?" Raph asked. He said it like it was going to be simply.

" It's not that easy. It's a possibility that it could work. But uh, minor loss could turn into extreme loss. You know, permanent." I continued to explain. I didn't mean to crush anyone's hope. But to get your hopes to high can be dangerous, it really hurts if you get them crushed. I should know.

" Do we even have any pictures?" Mikey realized this before anyone else could.

" I don't think so. We only took pictures as kids, never recently." Leo sounded so disappointed. For a moment, just one moment, there was some hope. But now, it was gone. But I didn't want to let it die, not that quickly.

" The T-phones have cameras right? We could just recreate scenes and take pictures of them. It might not work as effectively as the real thing would, but it's worth a shot right?" I wanted to spark up their hope again. I felt bad for crushing it. So all we needed was a spark of hope. Because then that spark might turn into a flame. I just had to make sure that flame would always keep burning, that it wouldn't blow out.

" Why don't we just take Donnie to the places?" Mikey wondered. We all knew why we couldn't, but I guess Mikey didn't catch on.

" I don't think Donnie is in any condition to be moving." I explained to Mikey. A little annoyed with him, but I also found it kinda cute.

" Oh yeah right. Good point." Mikey congratulated me.

" Let's get started then!" Raph jumped up from his seat.

" Shouldn't we wait till tomorrow?" Leo suggested. It was still early, like only 8 o'clock (pm), but we were all tired.

" What! Why?" Raph questioned and almost shouted.

" Because, we should check with Donnie if he actually wants to do this. And I'm pretty sure he's asleep right now. We should let him rest. Wait till morning." Leo had a hint of frustration in his voice. Leo doesn't usually have a bad temper, he was just really tired. I don't think any of us got a wink of sleep last night.

" I agree with Leo. I'm beat." Mikey extended his arms high in the air as he let out a yawn.

" But-" Raph began but stopped when Lily put a hand on his shoulder.

" Raph." Lily whispered, " Let it go." She said in a kind and gentle way. Not in a mean and forceful way. Lily always knew how to get Raph to calm down.

" Well, I'm gonna head off before my parents start to freak." John announced.

" I think I'm gonna go too. Buy guys!" Lily headed off with John.

" Shall we go to bed?" Mikey asked through another yawn.

" Perhaps a good night rest is in order." Leo advised.

And with those last words, we all went to bed.

* * *

The next morning, I was the first one up. It was 8:39 on a Thursday, and usually everyone was up by 6:30-7:00, so everyone slept in. I came into the living room and Leo was fast asleep on the couch. I didn't want to wake him up so I quietly sneaked my way into the kitchen and got myself a bowl of corn flakes.

I walked back into the living room to see if anyone had woken up during the short 3 minutes of me getting cereal. And sure enough, someone was up, Karai.

" What-ya eating?" She whispered to me. It was nice that she was whispering, not wanting to wake Leo up either.

" Corn flakes." I whispered back, through a mouth full of my food.

" When do I get to eat?" She asked back rather stuck up.

" For a prisoner, your awfully demanding." I joked. Karai had barely said a word all day yesterday. So I thought she could use a laugh. But Karai was not amused, " I'll go get you some cereal." I told her and walked back to the kitchen.

I returned with a second bowl of corn flakes. I had to leave mine in the kitchen because my other hand was pretty much useless.

I slide the bowl in the little opening in the cage. Donnie had designed it for such an occasion. The little opening only worked one way, so nothing could get out. Karai picked up the bowl and began to eat.

" Your welcome" I said sarcastically to her as I went back to the kitchen to get my bowl of cereal. When I returned I sat in front of Karai's cage. Sensing that our conversation was not over.

" So what happened to scrawny?" Karai asked then ate a spoon full of corn flakes.

I knew that by scrawny, she meant Donnie.

" First of all Donnie is not scrawny." I defended the turtle I love, " He's just tall and...skinny. And second, I don't know if I should tell you."

" Why not? Don't you trust me." Karai spoke in a challenging way.

" Let's just say your not on my good side." I responded flatly.

" You'd think a person would be more grateful to their rescuer."

" How did you rescue me?" I questioned. Now I was really confused.

" I was the one you released you in the torture chamber." Karai spoke like she was pointing out the obvious.

" Yeah right." I doubted her. If there's one thing I know about Karai is that she loves to play tricks.

" Okay. What about the window. I was the one who opened that too." Karai was not ready to give up.

" Uh..." I was a bit stunned. Only the turtles and myself and the silver flash knew about the window. Which apparently, Karai was my silver flash.

" Your welcome." Karai mocked me from earlier.

" Haha. Funny." I responded flatly once again. If this was a joke, it wasn't funny, " But why would you save me?"

" Just because I'm Shredder's daughter, doesn't mean I agree with everything he does."

" Sure." I huffed back, I still didn't believe Karai.

My head turned and I jumped when I heard Donnie let out a sharp scream. It was loud enough that I could hear it from the living room. But surprisingly, it didn't wake up Leo. I rushed to Splinter's room to check on Donnie, thus ending my conversation with Karai, but believe me, that conversation isn't over. I didn't bother to say goodbye to Karai and I left my cereal on the floor.

I ran in Splinter's room and rushed to Donnie's side. He was laying down holding his left arm.

" Donnie what's wrong?!" I shouted.

" N-nothing." Donnie stammered out. But it was clear that he was trying not to worry me. It didn't work.

" It's obviously not nothing Donnie. Your holding your arm in pain. What happened?" I asked more calmly now.

" I was trying to get up. And I put to much pressure on my arm, then I fell on it." Donnie explained through grunts of pain and gritted teeth.

" Why did you try to get up?" I wasn't disappointed in him, I just wondered why he would do that. I was more worried then anything.

" I-uh-I was hungry." Donnie told me shyly. I only realized now how small Donnie looked. I've never noticed this before. But when Donnie got shy, he would kinda raise his shoulders up to his neck and that made him look small and scared.

" You know you just could of called me and I would have brought you food." I was wondering why Donnie would attempt to get up by himself.

" Yeah but I didn't know if anyone was up." Donnie defended himself.

" Still. You have a split head, broken leg, and a upper left arm that pretty much has no skin left on it. I'm sorry but what made you think that you could do it by yourself?" I asked him compassionately.

" I thought maybe since I don't know what happened, it would all just be a bad dream." Donnie didn't hesitate to tell me. And that just proves that the old Donnie is still in there...somewhere.

" Believe me, I wished a thousand times that this was all just a bad dream. But unfortunately, it's not." I paused. There was a sad atmosphere in the air. I wanted to clean it up, " I'll go make you some breakfast. How does toast sound?"

" Good." His voice cracked. Donnie was still in a lot of pain.

A few moments later I returned to Donnie with some plain toast, only topped with butter.

" Here." I sat down on the edge of the bed with the plate of toast. I picked up one of the pieces.

" What are you doing?" Donnie wondered.

" I'm feeding you some toast." I pointed out.

" Why can't I feed myself?"

" Can you move your left arm?" I wondered. But I already knew the answer.

" No but-" Donnie began but got cut off.

" Can you move your right arm?" I asked. Again already knowing the answer.

" I can." Donnie responded proudly. This was the most expression I've heard Donnie used since the night with Shredder.

" Does it hurt when you move it." I continued on why I was going to feed him.

" Well yeah but-" Donnie got cut of once again.

" If you keep moving, you'll never get better. So therefor I'm going to feed you." I finished up my theory, " Now open."

Donnie knew that he wasn't going to win this fight. So he opened up and took a bit of toast. As he was eating, Donnie started up the conversation.

" So, do I get to know what happened today?" Donnie asked and took another bit of toast.

" Well sorta. We discovered that you have minor memory loss. And it's up to you if you want to try the...solution to it." I searched for the right words to say.

" What's the solution to it?" Donnie wondered. His voice had a hint of hope in it. But he didn't smile. Now that I think of it. I couldn't remember the last time Donnie smiled. His eyes had a dull and depressing look in them. I can't remember the last time I seen a hopeful shine in them either.

" We show you some pictures and familiar locations and stuff that was really important in your life time. Or at least the time that you've forgotten." I explained, " But it's up to you if you want to."

" Why wouldn't I want to?" Donnie questioned.

" Because, some of your memories, they aren't the happiest." I shut my eyes tightly at the thought of what Donnie had been through. It was tough enough to live through it once, but now Donnie had to live through it twice. The thought of it was haunting.

" Oh." Donnie looked down and then back up, " I still want to do it anyway." Donnie decided but he had no idea what he was getting himself into. And that made me sad.

" Did you want anymore toast?" I wondered. Desperate to change the subject.

"No." Donnie sounded sad.

" Okay." I accepted his decision, even if he only ate half of the toast, " But I'll be back with a glass of water." I told him and brought the rest of the toast back to the kitchen. I got a glass of water and returned to Splinter's room.

But before I entered, I heard wheezing sounds come from inside. I wondered what was going on so I entered, but I forgot to knock.

" Donnie?" I looked over to where Donnie was laying and he was vomiting. I rush to his side and I felt his forehead, he was sweating, " Oh Donnie, your burning up." Now Donnie had a bunch of injuries and a fever.

Donnie only responded by vomiting some more. It was only little spurts. He would cough and then vomit. Except that there was blood in this vomit, bloody vomit.

I set the glass of water on the night stand and then went to get some paper towel, and a bucket.

I ran into the living and Leo was watching TV. It's been an hour since I woke up.

" Hey Taylor." Leo said casually, but when I ignored him and just kept running he knew something was up, " Taylor what' s wrong?"

" It's Donnie. He's throwing up." I explained quickly and grabbed the role of paper towel and then searched frantically for a bucket.

" Like, really badly?" Leo questioned.

" Um, well kinda. He's not throwing up a lot but there is a little bit of blood." I explained quickly once again and then I found a bucket and started running back to Donnie.

" Do you need help?" Leo offered.

" No I'm good!" I shouted back. Normally I would have took Leo's feelings into mind but I was in such a rush I didn't have time.

" I'm back!" I cried out and headed for Donnie's side. He was laying on his side but he looked up and me. His eyes showed fear and pain. It was digging deep inside me, begging me to help him.

Donnie coughed and threw up again. It must of hurt him deeply every time he coughed because he would clenched his side and close his eyes tightly, revealing the black and blue caused by black eyes. I hated seeing him like this. So I had to work fast.

" Don't worry Donnie. I'm hear, just let it out." I comforted him and placed the bucket right where Donnie was leaning over. Then I took some paper towel and wiped up what was on the floor, the bed, and his face. I was surprised how much Donnie was throwing up considering he only ate half of a piece of toast.

More and more came out of Donnie's mouth. And every time he would scream. Donnie was in so much pain and between the vomiting and screaming, he rarely had time to breath. But when he did manage to breath, his breaths were short, sharp, and painful. Was there ever a moment when Donnie wasn't in pain? Right now, it didn't seem like it. Finally, Donnie got more then five seconds to breath. He sat up and looked at me. His eyes were full of pain and I've never seen them so hurt. Those brown eyes that always gave me pleasure to look at, but they looked black right now. Plus his chin was stained red.

Donnie began to whimper then he lean forwards and leaped into my arms and began to sob. The moving hurt so bad that it just made him sob harder. I hugged him back, with one arm.

" Make it stop." Donnie whispered in my ear like a small child would to his mother to make the pain go away. It had only been, really two full days since Donnie had woken up, and all ready he couldn't handle it.

" I wish I could, I really do. And if there's anything I can do, anything at all, I'll do it." What I had just said was 100% true. I would do anything to help Donnie. And if I could, I would switch places with him. Sometimes I wish it was me instead of Donnie. So he wouldn't be in pain and so I would forget, forget our fight, forget what he called me. And sometimes it felt better to forget.

" Hey is everything okay in here?" Leo's voice came from behind me. I could tell that he had just walked through the doorway and stopped dead when he saw Donnie and I both sobbing and the bucket fully of bloody vomit.

" Are um ah..." Leo was at lost for words as I heard his voice start to shake.

Neither one of us bothered to look up at him because we both knew that in a few seconds, Leo would be joining our sob fest. And that's just what he did. He joined in our group hug and began to sob with us.

" I'm sorry Donnie." Leo apologized. Even though Donnie never talked to him yet, he would talk to Donnie, " I should have been there for you. But I wasn't, this entire time, I've never once have I come to visit you. Never once I have talked to you. I'm sorry. And Donnie, there's no possible way that I would ever be disappointed with you" Leo spilled out his heart. And from the way he said it, from the way he cried, I could tell that Leo wanted to get this off his chest before it was too late.

Leo's apology just made Donnie cry harder, which made Leo cry harder, which made me cry harder. Donnie buried his face into my shoulder and tried to calm himself down. His breaths were so sharp now it sounded like that gasp you take when you first get shot with a bullet.

After 30 minutes of pure sobbing, we broke up our group hug and just kinda glanced around at each other. Neither one of us saying a word. Because our eyes spoke it all. Leo had painful, apologetic, worried look. Donnie had a painful, hurtful look in his eyes but there was a third emotion and that was forgiveness, he forgave Leo. And my eyes? Only one who was looking at them could tell.

A few moments of silence past. You could have heard a pin drop. And this silence was just what we needed. After a good cry, silence was loud enough for all of us. Well, it was quiet until Donnie sounded like he was choking, then he leaned over and threw up...again.

Donnie laid his head down after minutes of vomiting. He was breathing heavily, well more like panting. Donnie was exhausted, he was tired of vomiting, tired of being hurt, tired of life. And for all those reasons, that's why he closed his eyes and instantly fell asleep. Leo tilted his head towards the door, signalling that we should leave. I took his hint a followed him out. But before I closed the door, I looked back and the worn out, sleeping Donnie. And even though he practically just met me two days ago, for some reason, our connection felt stronger then ever.

* * *

**Okay guys, so I know I promised this chapter this morning...but obviously that didn't happen. But at least I posted it today right? And it's some-what long, so I'm pretty happy with that. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think! Thanks :)**


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

" So where should we start?" Raph asked as we were planing out scenes to re-create for Donnie.

A week had gone by since Donnie had woken up, We've never had time to plan what pictures to take to help Donnie's memory because he had fallen sick. But we managed to find time to plan and now Leo, Raph, Mikey and I are gathered around in the living, sitting on the floor, writing down ideas on what locations to re-create.

" Well, what do we have so far?" Mikey's voice chimed with wondered. He was back to his usual content self. In fact, ever since Donnie woke up, things been happier. Which of course made sense. But the thing that really surprised me was that Leo and Raph never had one fight yet. So things were running pretty smoothly around here for once.

" Nothing." Leo replied flatly, you could see the disappointment dripping out of his mouth.

" Well the last thing that Donnie remembers is April leaving. And this happened..." I needed someone to finish my sentences for me. After all, I arrived after April left.

" It happened two months before you came." Leo completed my statement.

" Then," I continued, " Did any big events happen in those two months?"

" No not really. Donnie was always depressed, rarely left his lab." Leo responded sadly.

" Oh." Was all I could say. I couldn't believe that Donnie was depressed for two straight months. It just didn't seem like the Donnie I know...or knew.

" So would the first big event that happened is when Taylor came?" Mikey's voice sounded unharmed. He didn't sound sad, remembering what Donnie went through. It was hard to knock Mikey down and even if you did, it would take a lot to get him to show it.

" Yeah pretty much." Leo agreed.

" So where should we take the picture, the old lair is demolished." Raph pointed out. Now that I think of it, Raph doesn't really think things through. The answer was obvious to us all, except for him. Which is kinda shocking because this was usually a Mikey move.

" Two things. You guys technically didn't first meet me at the old lair, you first saw me when you were dragging me down into the sewers. And second, the new lair looks exactly like the old one." When I finished they were all looking at me in a strange way, " What?"

" You've been hanging out with Donnie to much." Raph scolded.

It took me a moment or two to figure out what Raph meant. But then I realized that I said technically, which is kinda Donnie's thing.

" Haha very funny." I said with annoyance tickling the back of my throat, " What else can we re-create?"

" Well I think the older lair is definite yes. And maybe Taylor's house?" Leo suggested. We all nodded our heads in agreement. I wrote down the three locations that we came up with. I wrote down the sewer tunnel they dragged me into, the old lair, and my house. I was kinda flattered that one of the three locations was my own house, it was nice to know that I had such a big impacted in the turtles lives...in Donnie's life.

The thought of Donnie made my heart feel sad. It wasn't fair that he was badly injured and now coming down with the flu. That was another thing that Donnie had to battle alone. It made me more angry then anything.

My thoughts got interrupted by the sound of a bell. That was the alarm I had hooked up to Karai's tube, to know when to feed her. I had learned a thing or two about mechanics from Donnie.

" Time to feed the prisoner." Raph announced to know one in particular and Leo walked off to the kitchen to fetch Karai some lunch.

" That bell makes me feel like a caged animal." Karai's usually calm yet intimidating voice piped up, " When can I leave?"

" You can't leave until our Shredder problem is solve." Raph said through clenched teeth and tight fists. He had explained this many times to Karai and she just did it now to get on Raph's nerves.

" You know if you don't set me free soon, he's gonna come and hunt you down." Karai stood up and folded her arms, thinking that she won the battle. But I could tell by the look on Raph's face that he had one more trick up his sleeve.

" You've been missing for a week and there's been no sign of the foot clan or your precious daddy." Raph's evil smirk caused a chill to run down my spine.

" Raph!" Leo yelled at his red masked brother before Raph could take it too far, " Here Karai." Leo handed Karai a bowl of what looked like Chinese noodles through the little opening. I knew Leo had just put them in the microwave to reheat them because for one thing, Leo can't cook and we had Chinese noodles yesterday for supper.

" Ouuu, left overs." Karai's joy was very sarcastic.

" At least it's better then nothing." Raph pointed out in a very...rude kind of way would be the best way to describe it.

Karai let out a heavy sigh and then continued talking, " Just hurry up and contact my dad already, it's boring in here."

" At least we let you out to use the bath room." Mikey's remark wasn't rude likes Raph's was. It sounded completely innocent. And Mikey was right. We did let Karai out to use the bath room, but she was always accompanied by at least two turtles. They didn't go in the bathroom with her, they just waited outside the door. And since there wasn't any windows, there was no way for her to escaped.

" Come on guys, let's go eat." Leo was growing impatient. He didn't like talking to Karai. And I can understand why. He has, or as he says had a crush on this girl. Now we're keeping her prisoner. If I was him, it would upset me too.

The turtles walked in the kitchen but I stayed behind a bit longer. There was a question tugging at my mind for the whole week. Something I had to asks Karai.

" Tell me Karai," I didn't bother staring with a hello because I knew that I wouldn't get an answer from her if I started like that, " Why were you just wandering the sewer tunnels by yourself the day that we captured you?"

" It's my life mission to take you guys down." Karai began to explain. What surprised me was that she didn't hesitate to tell me, just like Donnie barely hesitated to talk to me. Maybe I was just an easy person to talk to, " The night that I found Leo and Raph alone on a roof, I was on patrol with the foot clan when I spotted them. I took the chance and attacked. I only had a few men with me, not very experience men. Then when they escaped, I followed them, ordering my men to go back to head quarters. I wasn't planing to get caught, but things don't always go as planned."

The last sentence that Karai said, it didn't sound like part of her explanation, it sounded like a warning.

" Taylor! Are ya coming to eat or not?" Raph asked and emerged from the kitchen.

" I'm coming." I told him and ran towards the kitchen, but Raph pulled me to the side before I could enter.

" Raph what are you-" I began to ask but my voice faded when Raph shushed me.

" Is Lily coming over today?" Raph's voices was so low I could barely hear him.

I smiled at Raph. I found it sweet that two of my best friends are together. Well, kinda together, their not an official couple but they do have this thing going on. It's a very complicated relationship.

" Don't look at me like that." Raph ordered and pleaded me. His voice was tough and ruff but his eyes showed desperation. Raph hated to admit that he was falling for a girl, especially Lily. She was the complete opposite of Raph but hey opposites attracted right?

" I don't know what your talking about." I tried to keep a serious face but my smile over took me and I almost snorted, " Anyway, no shes not coming over, school just started again and shes already has a pile of homework to do."

" Hey guys, what's keeping?" Mikey swung himself from the kitchen and almost lost his balance but grabbed the door frame before falling on the ground.

" Nothing!" Raph shouted to quickly for someone not to be suspicious, " I was just asking Taylor if she was going to see her parents tonight." Raph shifted his stern glance to me to warn me to play along.

" Why? What day is it?" Mikey wondered.

" Friday." Raph slowly pronounced Friday so Mikey could understand, but he was just really making fun of him for not catching on.

" Guys I'm hungry. What's going on?" Leo now joined in the conversation.

" Taylor's deciding if she's going to go visit her parents tonight." Mikey explained before Raph and I had a chance to.

" I think she should." Leo openly shared his opinion.

" Why?" I was a bit stunned by Leo's opinion. Not what he said, just how forward he was with it.

" Well you haven't seen your parents for over a month now, I think they're a little worried about you." Leo explained his reason. I didn't know what to say, because Leo was right.

" Dang Leo, why do you have to be so good at that?" I complained, " Fine, I'll go see them." I gave in and walked into the kitchen to go eat some lunch. Leo and Raph followed me in but Mikey stayed behind for a little longer.

" Wait, what was Leo good at?" He said out loud to himself and then quickly ran into the kitchen when he realized that we all left. Sometimes it surprises me just how clueless Mikey is. But that what makes Mikey adorable.

* * *

" I'll be back in an hour or so!" I shouted to the turtles as I left the lair. I was on my way to go see my parents. And as I was walking through the sewer halls, I began to think to myself...

_I remember when the turtles use to have to come with me when I wanted to see my family. And then now when they come with me, they come in my house. It's kinda scary how much my life has changed over the past year. I met four mutant turtles, I fell in love with one of them, and now I'm living with the turtles and Splinter._

_Splinter! I couldn't remember the last time I seen Splinter in the living room. He's always in the training room, meditating. In fact I don't even know if he knows that we've captured Karai. It was a bit odd that we never went to tell him, guess it just slipped our minds._

I found my way to the man hole cover and climbed out. I didn't have to hide in the shadows anymore, the police weren't after me and the only person in this neighbour hood that would actually recognize me was Lily. But since we haven't trained for over a month, I decided it would be good practice, plus it's fun.

So I jumped up on a roof and began to run. I forgot what it felt like to be out of the sewers, forgot what it felt like to have the wind in your hair and pounding against your face, I forgot the irresistible rush you get flowing through your veins. I felt alive, I felt free and for a moment, I forgot all about my troubles with Donnie.

But then an idea sparked into my head, I came to a complete stop. Stupefied that I didn't think of this sooner. I should get the turtles out of the sewer and go for a good rooftop run. It made me forget, so it could do the same for the turtles.

The time when we went after Raph didn't count because we had one thing on our minds, and that was getting back Raph. But if I just took them out, just for an hour, just for fun. It's sure to cheer them up.

I began to run and jump again, elaborating on my idea in my head. But finally I came to my house. I jumped down from a roof and ran across the street. My parents didn't like me jumping on their roof or anywhere near their house so I had to go across the street. They still didn't fully support the idea of their baby girl being a kunoichi but I didn't care what they thought. I like it.

I knocked on the door and it slowly creaked open. It was 10:30 at night and I was coming later then usual. I could come at 9 or so because it's winter, and it gets darker sooner.

I could see my dad's eyes peeking through the slightly opened door, I smiled and waved but then he closed it. I heard him take off the chain and now the door was fully open.

" Honey! Taylor's here!" My dad shouted to my mom.

" Hi dad." I quickly said before the situation could get awkward. But it didn't really work, my dad just grunted and gestured with his hand for me to come in. I walked into my house and my mom came running from upstairs with hands waving in the air.

She ran up and hugged me like she hasn't seen me in years.

" What happened to your arm!?" My mom broke up the death trap and backed away.

" I broke my hand during a...fight" I shrugged my shoulders.

" Are you okay?!" My mom shouted frantically.

" Yeah I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt anymore." I told her.

" Why don't we sit down and talk." My mom pushed me towards the couch. I knew that she had something she wanted to talk to me about. I just didn't know what it was.

" So, Taylor." My mom began as she brought me a glass of water and sat across the couch on the chair.

" Yeah?" I approached the conversation nervously. I knew my mom was up to something.

" Have you ever met Garret?" My mom asked with a huge fake smile on her face.

" Who?" I was really puzzled but I had a hunch on where she was going with this.

" Garret, he lives in our neighbour hood. And he's around your age. I think you'll really like him." My mom explained. I knew exactly where this was going. My parents, although didn't show it around them, didn't exactly approve of me dating a mutant turtles. Don't get me wrong, my parents love the turtles and Splinter, but they don't think I should be dating one of them.

" Mom, I'm not going to date Garret, I love Donnie." As I explained with annoyance, my parents flinched at the word love. They don't like hearing me say it.

" Taylor, your not in love. Your to young to know what love is." My mom chuckled as she spoke. But she said it more towards herself. But saying it to herself or not, it still got me angry.

" That's where your wrong!" I began to raise my voice, " I ran away from home just to be with him! I feel like I can't breathe without him! I would die for Donnie! You can not tell me that's not love!" I stood up as I shouted.

" Taylor keep your voice down, your brothers are sleeping." My dad snapped. He had been standing there this whole time. But my mom and I just kinda ignored his comment.

" Taylor, that's not love. It's...it's..." My mom didn't know what to say, I knew that she knew that it was love. She just didn't want to admit it.

" Look, I don't care what you guys think. I love Donnie and there's nothing you can do to change that!" I was no longer yelling, but my voice was still a bit higher then normal volume, " Besides, you shouldn't worry to much, you'll get what you want sooner or later. I think Donnie and I might be breaking up."

My mom had a sudden change of heart when she saw tears welling up in my eyes.

" What? Why?" She asked.

" Donnie, he-he lost his memory." I gathered up all the courage I had left inside me to say that,while simultaneously fighting back the burning tears.

" How?" My mom had walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

" He got tortured by Shredder." I looked down at the ground and the tears began to fall down my face.

" Who's Shredder?" My mom's voice had curiosity echoing through it.

" He's our number one enemy." I gave a short explanation, I really didn't feeling like explaining the long version of it.

" Oh?" My mom knew when to push me and when not to. And now was a not to moment.

" But the thing is. He only forgot me. He still remembers his brothers, his father, but everything that happened with me, he forgot." I explained to my mom, trying not to cry anymore but it didn't work.

" Come with me, I want to show you something." My mom took her hand off of my shoulder and walked up stairs. I followed her.

We walked down the hall and past the bathroom. Then, we came to my old room. She opened the door and urged me forwards. Now standing in my room with my mother, I looked around and realized that it was exactly how I left it.

" Why are we in here?" I turned around to face my mother.

" Do you notice anything different?" My mom wondered, I shook my head no, " Exactly. Your room is exactly the same as it was when you left. And it will be here when you return."

" What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow.

" Once you get over this turtle ninja phase. You're room will be ready. You know, when you come home." My mom said with an innocent smile.

" Mom, I told you already, I'm not coming back and I probably never will. I'm happy living with the turtles." I chose my words carefully. My parents still didn't know that I live in the sewers, and I plan on keeping it that way for a little longer.

" Trust me, you'll come back." My mom said with a glow of satisfaction, but I didn't know why she was satisfied, she didn't accomplish anything.

" No I won't come back! When will you understand that!" I yelled. I was tired of my parents, tired of this visit. So I opened the window and jumped out. I had no problem jumping from heights anymore, I have been training as a ninja for quite some time now and jumping from heights was one of my first lessons.

" Taylor! Come back!" I heard my moms faint voice in the distance, but I kept running. I jumped up on the nearest roof and began to run. But before my house was completely out of sight, I took picture of it with my T-phone.

" One picture down." I mumbled to myself and wiped the tears from my eyes as I began to run again. Only five minutes into the run I felt like stopping and just lying down. I no longer felt that rush of freedom, I felt sad and empty. All I wanted was for Donnie to be here by my side to comfort me. I wanted the feeling I get when I'm in his arms. But I can't have that because now, Donnie's sick and broken. He can barely move his arms at all.

I just wanted stuff to go back to the way they were. Leo being the fearless leader, Raph being the hot head, Mikey, the happiest sol I've ever meant, and Donnie. Donnie being the incredibly smart one, the incredibly kind one, the one I fell in love with. I admit that stuff had gotten better, but still, it's not the same. And I don't know if things will ever be the same again.

But now, with Donnie sick, the turtles not feeling like themselves, and knowing that I don't have my parents support, I have never felt so alone in my life.

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**Another chapter written and done, so...yeah. There's really not much I need to say here, just I hope your enjoying the story so far and please please review! And thanks to anyone who is reading/reviewing my story! It means a lot to me! :)**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Still mad at my parents, I stormed into the living room. I knew my face was beat-red and I was hot with anger. The turtles were just sitting on the couch, Leo watching his favourite TV show, space heroes. And the other two putting up with the show. Karai was in the tube, meditating. I never thought of her as the meditating type, but when you in a giant glass tube what else is there to do? As I stomped in, the turtles turned around to see me. My foot steps could be heard from miles away.

" So how'd it go?" Leo asked and put his arm up on the couch.

I just ignored him and stomped to my room but I heard Raph's voice in the distance...

" My guess would be not well." He shoved it in Leo's face for asking a stupid obvious question.

I flung open my curtain and swung my body onto my bed. I sank my face into the pillow and screamed in it. I was angry and needed to let out my anger some how, but my pillow wasn't doing me justice.

" Knock knock." A voice rang from outside my doorway as I heard whoever it was swing open my curtains.

" Don.." I started then stopped myself. Usually when I'm upset, Donnie comes to my room but before he enters he usually says knock knock, " Oh. Hey Mikey." I quickly corrected myself when I seen a smiling short turtle wearing a orange mask standing in my doorway. I was hoping that Mikey didn't hear me almost call him Donnie. That would just wipe away his smile.

" Hey Taylor, what's the matter?" Mikey's voice had it's humour back. It lacked in humour for so long now, it was nice to hear it again. But how long would that last?

" Just tired of my parents." I sighed and Mikey came to sit next to me on my bed.

" Parent trouble?" Mikey's question sounded more like a statement.

" Yeah, they still don't like the idea that I'm living with mutants." I laughed at the memory. It was one of those pity laughs.

" Your parents don't like me?" Mikey said with hurt humour in his tone.

I laughed and smiled at Mikey. I could always turn to him for a laugh.

" Feel better now?" he wondered. His eyes glowing with kindness.

" A little. But I feel like I just have too...too..." I didn't know what I wanted but I knew that I wanted something.

" Hit something." Mikey finished my desire for me.

" Yeah! Hit something." I almost jumped off my bed as I realized that what I wanted to do most was just hit something, anything. My fist were hungry for a punch.

" Wait here! I'll be back." Mikey flew out of my room but returned in a few seconds with Raph.

" So I hear you want to hit something." Raph crossed his arms to emphasize his tough guy act. I smiled at the thought that Raph was the guy to go to when you need to hit, punch, kick or beat something up.

" Yeah. What do you have in mind?" I asked for Raph's advise, curious to what he would have to say.

" Come with me." Raph played the mysterious man act for some fun. It was nice to see Raph play along with one of Mikey's plans.

I got up and without a word and followed Raph. We walked through the living room, down the hall and into his room. Raph's room was messy, it had comics, chip bags, and old bandages all over the floor. The walls were dark and the only source of light was a single lamp in the corner of the room. In another corner was Raph's red punching bag. He had fixed it up with duck tape from the time he had completely demolished it. It was once again hanging from his ceiling.

" Here." Raph handed me some old, red, boxing gloves that he had dug out from under his bed. It had a few tares in it, but other wise still in good condition, " I use to use these when I was a kid. But I don't need them anymore. Put them on."

" I'll put _one_ on." I raised my voice a little when I said the word one. Did Raph forget that I broke my hand?

" Oh yeah. How is your hand anyway?" Raph questioned. I was a bit surprised that he actually cared.

" It's okay I guess." I answered and took my hand out of it's sling, " I can move it again." I explained while flexing my fingers.

" I didn't know broken hands could heal that fast." Raph said with wide eyes.

" Well it all depends on how bad the fracture is. If it's only a minor fracture it can take as little as three weeks..." I began but got interrupted.

" That's enough. Don't go all Donnie on me." Raph joked. But just mentioning Donnie's name was no joking matter. Raph regretted saying it right after he did. But to lighten up the mood, I kept talking like nothing happened.

" It's been a month, I think it's only badly bruised now." I looked at my hand. I couldn't look into Raph's bright green eyes, especially when there sad because my mind gets sucked into them and then I lose thought of everything.

" Okay, then just put on one glove." Raph dropped one glove on the floor and handed me the other one.

I slipped on the one glove and waited for Raph to give me more instructions.

" Now, I'm gonna ask you a series of questions and every time you answer a question, you get to punch the bag." Raph explained his little training session to me.

" Why?" I asked, puzzled.

" Just so the silences doesn't get awkward."

" Fair enough." I shrugged and got into a punching position.

" Ready?"

" Ready." I nodded my head and then hit the punching began.

" What's your favourite number?" Raph began the question asking, and I answered them as quick as he was spitting them out.

" 6." I told him and threw a punch. It felt good. It was exactly what I needed to get out my anger.

" What's your favourite colour?"

" Purple."

" Hows life?"

" Not the best."

" Are you angry?"

" Yes."

" Why?"

" Parents are supper annoying."

" Hows your friends?"

" Don't know, haven't seen them for a while."

" Are they coming over tomorrow?"

" I don't think so."

When Raph asked that question I stopped my hand mid punch and looked at him. I smiled at him in a devilish way.

" What? I'm just asking." Raph defended himself.

" Why do you want to know?" I asked, still with a big grin on my face.

" I told you, I'm just asking." Raph snapped back when he knew where I was going with this.

" Is it because you want to see Lily?" I teased him.

" No!" Raph shouted back.

" Yes it is. You like her." I kept on going. Teasing Raph.

" Yeah I like her! So what?" Raph acted like it was no big deal, but his 'like' was different from mine and he knew it.

" Do you _love_ her?" I continued to tease but I realized that I had gone to far when Raph's expression changed to flat out angry. He tried to storm out but I grabbed him by the arm and turned him around.

" Raph I'm sorry." I apologized, " Will you forgive me?"

Raph shifted his eyes back and forth before responding, " On one condition."

" Sure anything." I told him. If there's one person you don't want angry at you, its Raph.

" Answer me this. Does Lily like me...in that kind of way?" Raph asked awkwardly.

" Raph, I'm not gonna reveal one of my friend's deepest secrets, if she even has one." I told him apologetically but then I rethought my strategy, " Do you like her in that kind of way?"

" Well I-uh." Raph rubbed the back of his head in search for words.

" Oh my gosh you do! So um...yeah Lily does like you." I told him. I figured if he likes her and she likes him, whats the harm in telling?

" Really?" I seen a sparkle flash across his eyes. It made me happy to see Raph happy.

" Yes really." I told him again, " Anyway, thanks for the anger lessons. But I'm gonna go now." I took off the glove and put in on the floor with the other one. I walked out of Raph's room. With all of the anger out of my system, I felt a lot better.

I walked into the living room and seen Leo come out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup in his hands. I was wondering what Leo was doing with soup at almost 12 at night.

" Taylor, do you think you could go try to get Donnie to eat something?" Leo nudged the bowl of soup towards me.

I took it in my hands, the warmth of the soup warmed my body, it felt good.

" Isn't he asleep?" I questioned.

" No, I just check on him, he's awake. I tried to feed him earlier, but he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't even look at me. And since your the only one he talks to, I thought he might eat." Leo choked on his own words. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I felt bad for Leo, as a big brother, you feel like you have to be there for your younger brothers. But to not be wanted, at the moment, would hurt.

" Sure, I'll give it a try. Did you uh-make the soup yourself?" I asked cautiously.

" No, Mikey made it. I just reheated it." Leo let out a little laugh. Then he said goodnight and headed off to bed as I headed toward Splinter's room. I walked up the stairs and entered the training room. Splinter was still in there meditating. He had began to sleep in the training room and we would bring him food because we never knew if he was going to come out to eat.

I walked past him and he never even acknowledged me. I wasn't hurt or anything, I just would have liked a signal that he knew that I was here. But knowing Splinter, he probably knew I was coming from the moment he smelled the soup.

I slid open the doors and closed them behind me. As I walked over to Donnie I saw him staring up and the ceiling like he usually does. He looked pale and there were bags under his eyes. Like he hasn't slept in days. But with him in this condition, it wouldn't surprise me if he hadn't slept at all.

" Hey Donnie." I almost whispered and sat down on the edge of his bed. His eyes glanced at me then back up at he ceiling, " I brought you some soup."

" I don't want it." Donnie's voice was faint and he sounded like he was talking to a ghost. His voice had no expression.

" Why not?" I asked him and I heard the desperation in my voice. I just hoped he didn't hear it as clearly as I did. Donnie looked so small and his shell almost looked to big for him. Donnie was wasting away to nothing. He looked so skinny, so boney.

" If I don't eat, I don't vomit. Simple as that." Donnie's voice was so bland so plane. It was frightening.

" But Donnie, if you don't eat, you might die." As much as it pained me to say it, Donnie had to realize that what he was doing was bad.

" I can't hold anything down. So it doesn't matter if I eat or not. And if I die..so what? There would be no difference." Donnie's words shocked me so much.

" How could you say that?" I was hurt and couldn't believe what Donnie had just said.

" I'm useless this way. No body needs me. Face it, I'll never heal." Donnie's voice regained emotion, but it was only one emotion, pain.

" But Donnie. I need you! We all need you!" Tears of anger were filling my eyes. It made my vision blurry. I was furious that Donnie would even think that nobody needed him. He was the brains, the inventor, the turtles would be no where without his inventions. Plus he's...or was, my boyfriend.

It was dead silent for a few minutes. The vegetable soup was still warm in my lap. This time I didn't let myself cry, I knew that I had to be strong for Donnie. Especially in his time of doubt.

" Taylor?" Donnie looked at me. His voice was so weak and delicate.

" Yeah?" I quickly wiped my teary eyes.

" What were we like?"

I looked at him curiously, " What do you mean?"

" Before I lost my memory, were we friends?" Donnie's eyes had lost it's brown glow. They were so blank and lifeless. But they still showed curiosity when he asked his question. He wanted to know what kind of relationship him and I had before all of this. That showed me that Donnie still had a spark of hope in his system.

I looked at him and smiled, " No." I laughed at my answer. Donnie and I were definitely not friends.

" Acquaintances?" Donnie re-arranged his word choice.

" No." It seemed like that was the only word that my brain could manage to put together. Donnie and I weren't acquaintances and friends was definitely not the word to describe us.

" Did I hate you?" Donnie was a bit surprised that he could ever have hated someone.

" I would hope not." I indicated. If Donnie actually did hate me when we were dating, we would have some relationship issues.

" Then what were we?" Donnie was completely out of ideas.

" We were so much more then friends I can tell you that." I laughed once again. I was more thinking to myself then talking to Donnie. Now with pure confusion on his face, I decided to elaborate more, " You and I...we were..." I hesitated to tell Donnie the truth, not sure if I wanted to tell him in the first place.

" Dating?" When Donnie had finished my sentence I looked at him with wonder in my heart. That was a thing that him and I did when we were dating. It was a sign of my old Donnie coming back.

" Yeah." I said absentmindedly and looked down at the rippling bowl of soup every time that I shifted in my seat.

" Wow." Donnie also replied absentmindedly, " I never thought that I would get over..."

" April?" I finished Donnie's sentence for him as he did for me. I remembered that this Donnie was still in love with April. He didn't love me, his heart belonged to April. Even though my heart will always belong to him, I can't say the same for his.

" Yeah." Donnie said.

Him and I were staring deeply into each other's eyes. Searching for some kind of answer, for some kind of response. But once again, the room fell silent and all I could see was blankness in his eyes.

" What happened to her, April?" Donnie asked the burning question, I could now see sadness and pain in his facial expression. Did Donnie feel any happiness at all anymore?

" It's not the time to tell you." I responded sadly. I hated keeping things from Donnie. Especially when it was his memories.

" How long do I have to wait? How long until I get to remember?" Donnie wondered, him and I still never broke eye connection.

" I-I don't know." I felt the knot in the back of my throat start to rise as I choked on my words, " But you will remember one day...I promise."

Donnie tried to smile at me but he couldn't. You can't put a smile on your face when you have nothing happy in your life. Donnie, unfortunately learned that the hard way.

" Well, I'm gonna let you get some rest. And I'm gonna leave you this bowl of soup in case you decide to eat something." I set the bowl of soup on the night stand.

" Cold soup...yum." Donnie replied sarcastically, trying to had a hint of humour to the situation.

" Good night." I whispered and began to walk out.

" Taylor wait." Although Donnie's voice was horsed and dry, for a moment I thought I had heard his old voice. For a moment, I thought my old Donnie was back.

At first I hesitated to turn around, just to see the sick, weak, pale Donnie laying in bed. It pained me every time I looked at him, but I did it anyway because I was the only one Donnie would talk to. I was the only one who could get through to Donnie, and with that burden, I had to be there for him. No matter how much it hurt me, Donnie was in much more pain.

" Yeah Donnie?" I spun around how my heels.

" Did...did I love you more then I loved April?" Donnie questioned. His voice was shaking when he asked, obviously nervous to even speak.

I put my hand up against the wall and rested my head on my arm. The question had weakened my legs, having to answer that struck fear in my heart. Finally I looked back at Donnie and answered him. What I had said, I might regret later. I don't even know why I said it. I guess I'm just scared that it's true.

I had responded, " No." And walked out of the room. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. I rubbed my hands over my face in exhaustion. It was really late and I haven't had a good night sleep in days.

_Why did I say no?_ I thought to myself, _What if Donnie really did love April more then me? Why do people fall in love? Some say love is happiness, but to me, it just seems like torture. You love somebody and you give them your heart, just to have it crushed. Nothing last forever. Why did I have to fall in love with a turtle? Why does love even have to exist? Love is nice at first but then you learn to hate it._

I glanced over at Splinter, still meditating. Or for all I know he could be sleeping sitting up. I began to walk back to my room and when I did, I didn't bother to change into pyjamas, I just flopped down on my bed in my clothes. My heart clenched tight in my chest as I my thoughts began to wander. I thought of Donnie and that fact that I love a guy who didn't even remember me. That thought made my heart clench even tighter and I realized that there was no such thing as an unbreakable heart.

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**Alright, so that's the end of another chapter! I rather enjoyed writing this chapter..so yay! Anyway, I've recently got a new favourite/follow so thank you so much! Anyway, hoped you enjoyed it and please review! Thanks! :)**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Taylor..." A voice whispered my name. I just grunted and rolled over in my bed, " Taylor..." The voice whispered my name again.

" Taylor! Wake up!" A deeper more rough sounding voice had yelled. His powerful voice had made me jump and fall out of my bed. I blinked open my eyes and I seen Mikey, Raph and Leo all hovering over me.

" What time is it?" I rubbed my eyes.

" 9:13." Raph responded flatly.

I sat up in a jolt. I couldn't believe I had slept in that late.

" Why did you wake me up?'" I asked after I realized that it was no big deal that I slept in.

" We need to tell you something." Mikey reached out his hand and helped me up.

" Okay, what is it?" I knew it wasn't bad news because Mikey had excitement in his tone.

" We added locations to the list. And uh, we were wondering if maybe we could get started on taking the pictures now." Mikey showed no embarrassment in asking, no hesitation, he wasn't shy at all. That just showed how eager he was to get started.

" Lets see what you added to the list first." I told them and got up. I could use both my hands again because my broken had was fully healed now. And it was great to have it function properly again.

It's actually been two months since Donnie had woken up and now he had remained memory-less for two months. For him to regain his memory, we planed to take pictures of important events that's happened in his life. So we had made a list of locations and then we put it up on the fridge and if we got an idea, we could just write it on the list. But we haven't been able to get to picture taking because Donnie had fallen really sick, and only now is he starting to get better.

We walked into the living room and as I past by Karai I glanced at her and gave her a friendly smile. Her glare just followed me to the kitchen. Over the past weeks I've tried to make friends with Karai, I must say that we had a few conversations here and there but none of them lasted more then five minutes.

" Hey guy..." I called out to the as I entered the kitchen, " Does Splinter even know that Karai is here?"

The all stared at me with mouths dropped open as the realized that Splinter was clueless about Karai.

" Should we go and tell him?" I suggested.

" We can tell him later! Just look at the list!" Raph was just as excited as Mikey was. Even Leo was shaking in anticipation.

I turned towards the fridge and I glanced down at the list. It read...

_Sewer tunnel/meet Taylor_

_Old lair_

_Taylor's House_

_TCRI basement_

_The temporary home_

_Taylor's/Donnie's first date location_

_Pancake breakfast:)_

" Nice guys." I congratulated them while I stood up and put my hands on my hips, " But do you mind if I add something?"

" Go ahead." Leo approved.

I took the pen that was clipped onto the list and wrote the word Antonio.

" Who's Antonio?" Mikey questioned, puzzled.

" He's a friend of my dads. Donnie and I went there one day and..." I didn't get to finish my sentences because Mikey let out a huge gasp.

" You mean Antonio as in Antonio's pizza? The pizza place we always order from?!"

" Um, yeah." I almost hesitated to answer, wondering why Mikey was getting so worked up.

" Why didn't you tell me that you're friends with a pizza man?!" Mikey shouted as he was shaking me back and forth while gripping my shoulders.

" That's enough Mikey!" Leo yelled and pulled Mikey away from me.

" Right, sorry." Mikey rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

" That's okay Mikey." I laughed, " So when did you guys want to get started?"

They looked at me and I seen joy flicker through they're faces.

" You really mean it?" Mikey was so happy he could barely speak.

" Of course I mean it! I'm mean, even though we might not have all the locations we need, we can at least get started on the picture taking right?" I exclaimed.

We all walked out of the kitchen and we took the list with us. We stood in the living room and decided what scene we can take pictures of with out re-creating them.

" I already got the picture of my house." I told them while taking out my T-phone and showing them the photo.

" So we can take pictures of the old lair, the sewer tunnel, and the temporary home." Leo pointed out.

" Let's go!" Mikey shouted and he ran out the door, Raph was close behind.

I was about to go with them but my feet wouldn't move.

" Taylor? You coming?" Leo wondered and turned around to face me.

" I-I think I'll stay behind. Do some more research." I explained.

" Uh, okay. We'll be back in an hour or so." Leo responded and went after his bothers.

I just stood there, watching Leo leave. Why did I stay behind? I guess someone had to stay behind, make sure that Donnie is okay. What about Splinter? He could watch after Donnie. I guess doing some more research wouldn't hurt. Maybe find some more information on memory loss.

So many questions and thoughts were going through my head, I wish that it would just shut up. But I faced it and walked into Donnie's lab and got the memory book I had last time. I returned to the living and I lad down on the couch.

" Alright lets see..." I said out loud to myself.

" You talk to yourself?" Karai's voice chimed up.

I looked up from my book and seen Karai standing up in her tube with arms crossed. Ever since a few weeks ago, about what Splinter had told me, I couldn't look at Karai the same way as I did before. Not now that I knew this secret.

" Yeah. So?" I replied.

" Nothing, I just know someone that also talks to himself." Karai shrugged. I smile at her attempt to make conversation.

" Oh yeah? Who?" I asked. I wasn't really interested in who talks to himself, I mean who doesn't? I just thought that if maybe I could get Karai on my side, she could be helpful to us.

" Just...people." Karai shrugged again, " What-ya reading?" Karai tilted her head towards my book in curiosity.

" A memory loss book."

" Oh." Karai looked down. She sounded sad?

The talking just kinda died after that but then I heard Karai shifting around in the tube.

" Getting cramped in there?" I wondered.

" I was 'getting cramped'' two weeks ago." Karai said bitterly.

" Yeah sorry about that. I feel really bad keeping you in there." I apologized for no apparent reason.

" Can you let me out?" Karai took a leap of faith in asking that question.

" Sorry, no can do." I shook my head.

" Can I at least get a change of clothes?" Karai wondered with a sharp edge to her voice.

" Uh sure, but I don't really think that you and I have the same taste in clothes." I warned her.

Karai just chuckled in response. Something that I thought she was incapable of. I knew that she could give a sarcastic laugh and huff once in a while. But that chuckle actually sounded like laughter.

I ran to my room and got out a pair of jeans and a plain black T-shirt from my dresser. I ran back out of my room, down the hall, and back to Karai. I gave her the clothes through the feeding slot.

" Well turn around." Karai said impatiently.

I turned around without a word and waited for Karai to be finished changing. When she was I turned back around and took her other, metal like clothes and told her that I would have them washed.

" Do you even have a washer machine?" Karai doubted.

" Yes actually, we do." I gave my head a nod in satisfaction.

" Since when?" Karai challenged.

" A few weeks after I've lived here, Donnie built me one so I could wash all of my clothes."

Karai let out a huff and responded, " Princess."

I gave an unamused look.

" Looks like I hit a nerve." Karai had a evil grin spread across her face.

" You didn't hit a nerve. I just don't like people calling me princess." I explained to her. April had once called me princess, before she died.

" Well now I gotta call you princess, Princess."

" Will you please stop that." I said a bit louder then I meant to.

" Will you let me go?" Karai countered.

" No. Not until we solve our problem with Shredder." I told her for the fifth-thousand time

" What problem?!" Karai shouted. This time I hit a nerve, " If anything you guys are the problem!"

" How are we the problem?" I laughed at Karai's theory.

" Oh how cute." Karai sneered, " They didn't tell you, you don't know. Well I do! I know what Hamato Yoshi did to my mom! All my father wants to do is avenge her!"

I fell silent after that. Trying to control my anger I replied in a seemingly calm voice that even surprised myself.

" What exactly did Splinter do?" I asked. Karai knew that we called Hamato Yoshi Splinter. Before I came, Splinter had a big battle with the Shredder while trying to save April. The krang even attempted to take over the earth. So we were all familiar with each other.

" My dad and your Sensei use to be best friends. But they both loved the same girl. My dad got the girl and had a daughter, me. But Yoshi got insanely jealous and one night he set fire to their house. As it burned down, my mom got stuck under a piece of the house, she told my dad to run and take the baby. Although he didn't like leaving her behind, my father did what he was told. But when he got out of the house, he saw Yoshi just standing there. My dad called out to him for help, so he could go save his wife, but Hamato Yoshi just stood there and watched my mom die. Then he went to hide his shame in New York and forever remain a coward. Also, my dad got burned and he hides his face to hide his burns, and the shame that he couldn't save my mother. But it's Splinter's fault that she died! It's Splinter who killed her." Karai explained with a bitter tone and through clenched teeth.

" Karai, I'm sorry but that's not what happened." I tired to tell her in the most calm way that I could.

" Yeah? How do you know? Why should we trust your sensei over mine?" Karai spat.

" C'mon, I want to show you something." I told her.

" If you didn't notice, I'm kinda stuck in here." Karai waved her hands up and down the tube.

I paused to think and then I got an idea. I ran to Raph's room and got out a big yellow rope. I had no idea why he had it in his room, but last time I was in here, I seen it sticking out from under his bed. I came back and held the rope up in front of Karai.

" Your gonna hang me?"

" No, stick you hands out." I instructed her and I lifted up the food slot. She rolled her eyes and stuck her hands out. I bent down and tied the rope around her wrist and a bit of her arms.

" This isn't necessary, I'll be good, I promise." There was a hint of humour in her voice. I just looked up at her and gave her a side smile then continued to tie the rope," Still don't trust me?"

" Nope." I told her, " There, done." I stood up and looked at my well knotted rope. Karai slid her arms out of the slot and stood up. I unlocked the tube and guided Karai out. This probably wasn't the best idea but I did trust Karai to a certain point. I didn't think she would do anything rash.

" What did you want to show me?" Karai wondered. I took the little bit of rope that I had left and began to walk. I was walking Karai like someone would walk a dog.

But I finally came to the destination. I peeked through the dojo's doors expecting to see Splinter sitting there. But he wasn't. I didn't see him come out, so the only other place he could be was in his room. So I quietly crept in and I pulled Karai in with me. I closed the doors and faced her.

" Your training room? Is that it?" Karai questioned in disbelief.

" No, it's just in the training room." I told and walked her and I over to a wooden cabinet. It's where we keep all the weapons but it's also where Splinter keeps something else.

I opened the cabinet and took down the picture of Splinter and Tang Shang. Karai stared at it in awe then grabbed it from my grasp.

" B-but this is impossible." Karai whispered to herself.

" What's impossible?" I wondered. Did Karai recognized this picture?

" I have the same picture." Karai turned and faced me, still holding the picture in her hand, " But, it's only my mother holding me, the other half got burned in the fire, or so my father said." Karai paused and stared at the picture some more, " Why is Hamato Yoshi with my mother?"

" Because, he's your father." I told her sympathetically. I didn't take a chance to stop and think that maybe Splinter would have wanted to tell Karai, but he doesn't even know that she's here. So I told her anyway, because after 16 years of lies, Karai was about to learn the truth. Also, over the past month, Splinter had told me that Karai was actually Miwa, and he made me swear that I wouldn't tell the turtles. I felt bad for keeping this secret and I had to tell someone, so why not Miwa herself?

" The rat is my real dad. Funny Taylor, but not convincing. Splinter killed my mother."

" Come on." I tugged on the rope and led her to Splinter's room. Well just to the doors, we didn't go in. But we did lean on the door and listened to the conversation going on inside.

" Donatello, my son..." Splinter's voice was faint, I couldn't really hear what they were saying. I could only make out a few parts, but from what I could hear, it seems Donnie was talking back.

" I'm sorry my son...failed you..." Splinter continued.

" No...failed... I-I want...remember." Donnie's hushed voice could barely be heard through the door.

" My son...love you." Splinter whispered.

" ...love...too." Donnie responded to Splinter's emotions.

Both Karai and I stopped leaning against the door at the same time. She looked at me and I seen worry in her eyes.

" Now, does that sound like a guy who would kill a loved one?" I asked her, hoping for an honest opinion.

Karai hesitated. She knew that I was right. That didn't sound like a man who would kill because he was jealous. But would Karai admit that?

" So..is Splinter really my father?" Karai asked with sad eyes.

" Yeah." I whispered.

" No he's not." Karai denied it once again. I was starting to get a little frustrated.

" Just think about it Karai. You've been gone for two months and Shredder did nothing to come and find you. Do you really believe that his lac of action is father material. He did save you from a burning building, but Shredder's the one who set it one fire and he only took you to get back at Splinter for falling in love with Tang Shang." I explained desperately to Karai, hoping that she would believe me.

" No, that's not what happened." Karai rejected my explanation once again.

" Yes it is. And honest, your real name isn't Karai. They actually named you Miwa." I told her.

" What?" Karai looked up and me in wonder, " What did you say my name was?"

" Miwa, why?" I questioned. Just by Karai's tone I knew that the name Miwa had a meaning behind it.

Karai reached into her shirt and pulled out a gold chain with a heart locket that said Miwa on it.

" What's that?" I asked, really getting into this whole Karai is Miwa deal.

" I don't know. I found hidden in my dad's room. When I held it, it just felt...right. Like it belonged to me. So I took it, now I wear it around my neck. My dad still never noticed though." Karai explained while staring intensely at her chain.

" When Splinter walks out of his room, I swear on my life that when he sees you, he will call you Miwa. Then if he does, will you believe me that for 16 years Shredder had lied to you?" I took my last chance to convince Karai.

She looked at me and nodded, holding her chain tightly.

" Sensei! Come here!" I shouted as Karai and I backed away from his door. I felt bad for ruining Splinter's and Donnie's father son moment, but this had to be done.

Splinter emerged from his room and his long cloaked dragged on the floor. When he came out, his eyes were calm and relaxed but when he layed eyes on Karai, his eyes went wide.

" Miwa?" Splinter whispered.

Karai looked at me in surprise. She wasn't actually expecting for Splinter to call her Miwa. But he did and I could tell my Karai's eyes that she now believed me. I nodded my head and Karai ran up to Splinter and jumped into his arms. Not an action that I would expect from Karai.

" Father." I heard Karai whisper back to Splinter. Sensei hugged Karai and held her tight.

" Miwa, you came back." Splinter held Karai even tighter.

After a long period of hugging, they finally broke up the hug and they both stared at me. Tears were in they're eyes.

" Taylor? Did you do this?" Splinter asked.

I nodded my head and bit my lower lip, trying to prevent the grin that was slowly spreading across my face. Uniting Splinter with his daughter had a great feeling that came with it.

" Thank you." Splinter didn't whisper his response, but he did say it in a hushed voice. I looked at him and smiled. After a moment or two, Splinter decided that he needed a moment to meditate, so I took Karai back to the living room. When I was taking her back to her tube, before she went back in, she turned around and faced me.

" Thanks Taylor." Karai thanked me with joy in her eyes. That was an emotion that I never seen Karai have. I only seen the type of joy you get when you annoy someone, but never real pure joy. That was, until now.

" No problem." I told her. I was barely able to speak, the happiness that I was feeling was over whelming.

I gave Karai a little nudged towards the tube as I urged her forwards, as she was about to step in, she jolted around once again.

" I wanna help." Karai blurted out.

" What?" I questioned.

" I wanna help you cure Donnie. I feel bad for what my dad-uh-Shredder did. And I wanna help make up for it." Karai explained. She explained really fast, so fast that I barely understood the words that poured out of her mouth.

I gave Karai a doubting look, " Are you serious?" I wondered.

" Yes I'm serious!" Karai cleared her throat, " So do yo think you could untie me?" Karai held up her well tied up hands.

" I-uh..." I wasn't sure on what I should do. But more important was did I trust Karai?

" Taylor don't worry, you can trust me." Karai reassured me and I untie her hands. My hands were shaking as I did. I was nervous that I made the wrong choice. But Karai didn't try to kick me, or run away as I set her free. Instead she just replied...

" Come on, let's get started." And she sat down on the couch and picked up the book.

I follow her and sat down beside her on the long corner, in ground couch. Karai held the memory loss book in her lap, but she didn't open it. All Karai was doing was staring at it.

" What's wrong?" I asked and leaned towards her. I avoided saying Karai's name because I wasn't sure if she even still went by Karai. Or if she was going to go by Miwa.

" If, I'm Splinter's daughter, does that mean I'm related to Le-the turtles? I mean like adoption kind of related." Karai asked and looked at me with sad eyes.

I had only realized now that Karai was right. She and the turtles were technically related. But more importantly, she and Leo are related.

" Yeah." I whispered my words and put my hand on her knee to comfort her. It was obvious that Karai had once or still does love Leo. But now that they're related, they can never be together. I also knew that when Karai had asked me if she was related to the turtles, what she really wanted to know was if she was related to Leo.

" So that means..." Karai didn't need to finish her sentence for me to understand.

" Yeah." I whispered once again. I had to think of something to change the subject, to get Karai's mind off of the depressing, " So are you still Karai or are you gonna go by Miwa now?" I asked the first thing that popped into my brain.

" I know that Shredder gave me the name Karai, but to change it after 16 years would be a little weird and hard to get use to. So if this family doesn't mind, I would like to keep it Karai." Karai explained with a sad smile. She must of notice my sudden change of subject and she acted like nothing was wrong, but I could see through her mask.

" Cool, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to change my name either." I told her. Attempting to lighten the mood but my sad attempt turned into silence, " Should we get started?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

" Yeah, of course." Karai shook her head to get back into the real world after she had dozed of to dream land. But now that she was back, Karai opened the book and we began to read. This time we read the book from cover to cover.

It took us about 3 hours to only read about half of it. It was a big book and would take us a long time to read it all. We did manage to find some useful piece of information but not a lot. But there was this one bit that stood out from the rest.

" Sometimes, when someone forgets only a part of their memory, it's because they don't want to remember a certain event so badly that they forget it completely and maybe even some more of their memory. For example if a pet died, the person would forget about the pet completely if he/she was really traumatized by its passing." I read out loud the bit of information that stuck out from the rest.

" Is there anything that happened to Donnie that he wouldn't want to remember?" Karai wondered. She was actually serious about helping us help Donnie. I was thankful for that.

I paused to think for a moment. I mean a lot of bad things has happened to Donnie but nothing that would like, cause him so much pain that he would want to forget.

" No, not that I can think of." I told Karai, disappointment was creeping it's way into my voice.

" Okay, then how far back does Donnie remember?" Karai asked.

" Um, he only forgot everything since I came. He doesn't remember who I am." I said sadly. I always knew that Donnie didn't remember me, and I said it out loud many times too. But it seems now that I've said it out loud so many times, it's just hitting me that it's real.

" Did anything happen between you two that he wouldn't want to remember?" Karai asked sympathetically. She knew that asking that question was getting personal to me, but I realized that if we wanted to get to the bottom of this, I would have to answer it.

I opened my mouth to answer, and I was going to say that I didn't know. But the truth is that wouldn't be a honest answer. I didn't actually take time to think about the question, I didn't want to think of the question. But even before I could say that I didn't know, the turtles with Lily and John came walking in our sewer home.

" Taylor, we took a bunch of pictures of..." Mikey started then stopped when he seen Karai standing up beside me. In fact all of the turtles stopped dead in their tract.

" What is Karai doing out?!" Raph practically shouted as he took out his twin sai and he threw his arm over Lily to protect her. His bothers followed by taking out their weapons.

" Guys it's alright!" I yelled defensively and threw my body in front of Karai to protect her.

They all just stood there silently. Waiting for an explanation.

I took a deep breath in because I knew it was a going to be a long explanation, " I was about to do some research when Karai started speaking to me, we had a conversation and one thing led to another and then next thing you know, I'm asking about what Shredder told her what happened between him and Splinter," I paused and took another breath before I continued, " She told me and of course it was full of lies so I tied up her hands and brought her to the training room, I showed her the picture of Splinter and Tang Shang, turns out she had the same one but only half of it. Then I told her that she's actually Miwa..."

" Wait what?" Leo burst out and interrupted me.

I let out an annoyed sigh and explained, " A few weeks ago, Splinter told me that Karai is actually Miwa. He made me promise that I wouldn't tell you guys."

" So he knew that Karai was here this whole time?" Raph questioned, he still had his arm over Lily.

" I guess so." I sounded kinda whinny but that was only because of the big long explanation that I still have to go through, " He's a ninjutsu master guys, he knows everything."

" Just because he told you doesn't really mean that he knew. Maybe he just wanted to get it off his chest." Mikey suggested.

" Whatever the reason might be, he told me. But anyway, I told Karai that shes Miwa then she showed me her gold chain that says Miwa on it and then Splinter came out from visiting Donnie-"

" Was Donnie talking back?" Mikey asked. Hope glazed his voice.

" Don't interrupt." I snapped at him, " When Splinter came out from his room, He recognized Karai immediately then Karai finally believed that she was Miwa, they hugged and now we're doing research because Karai wants to help us cure Donnie."

I bent down, put my hands on my knees and breathed in a sigh of relief. It was hard to say that in all one breath. When my lungs caught up with the rest of my body, I looked up at them and they just stared at Karai and I with big shocked, unblinking eyes.

" So guys, meet Miwa." I gestured to Karai, " But she's still gonna go by Karai." I added.

It a few moments before Mikey ran towards Karai and gave her a welcoming hug. He had her arms pinned to her sides as Karai stiffened. She had no room to hug back., not that she would anyway. Karai isn't much of a huger.

" Welcome to the family." Mikey announced and squeezed Karai even tighter. I glanced towards Karai with a friendly smile as I seen her face go from shocked to caring. Knowing that Mikey accepted her right away made Karai's face glow with joy.

" Uh- thanks Mikey." Karai thanked him as she struggled to get out of his death hug. Mikey took Karai's hint and backed away, but he was still smiling.

" So your one of us now?" Raph had approached Karai.

" Yeah, I guess so." Karai rocked back and forth on her feet. She still wasn't use to being friends let alone sisters with the turtles. It was weird for her not trying to ripe their heads of of their bodies.

" Cool, welcome to the fam." Raph greeted Karai the same way as Mikey did but a little less childish. He only gave Karai a pat on the should as we walked past her and headed towards his room, " Lily, you com'in?" Raph turned his head and waited for Lily to respond.

" Don't you think we should stay here and welcome Karai?" Lily called after the red masked turtle.

" Isn't that what I just did? Besides, she's a big girl, she doesn't need me around." Raph's joke was more towards Karai then answering Lily's question. But Karai knew that the joke was meant for her so she shot Raph an angry glance but a playful grin was upon her face. Raph just stuck out his tongue in playment and Karai did the same to immediate him.

" I'll be right there. I just wanna welcome her." Lily shouted as Raph continued to walk to his room and he just waved his arm in the air to signal that he got Lily's message.

" Karai, this is my best friend Lily." I introduced Lily to Karai, " And that over there is my other best friend John." I pointed to John standing in the distance.

" H-hi." John stuttered like the words got caught in his throat. I couldn't remember the last time John had stuttered.

Karai gave a shy wave to John. I couldn't remember Karai ever being shy.

" Hi!" Lily called excitedly and held out her hand to shake Karai's.

" I know who you are. I met you before, we don't have to shake hands." Karai told Lily. It was true that she had met her before. Karai had seen Lily and John many times over the past two months and some weeks.

" Yeah, but now that you part of the family, I have to met the new Karai." Lily explained

Karai let out a sigh of defeat and shook Lily's hand. When they were done, Lily chased after Raph and joined him in his room. Then tend to do that a lot. They stay and chat for a few minutes then they go off into Raph's room doing who knows what.

I was about to urged Leo and John forward but then a ringing of a bell had distracted my thoughts. We all glanced over at the tube and the bell I had installed rung. I never disabled it since Karai was ''one of us.''

" Lunch time!" Mikey shouted. They had been gone since 9 O'clock this morning and I'm pretty sure they had all skipped breakfast. So Mikey ran to the kitchen while we all followed behind him. Karai and I were walking together while John and Leo stayed at the back of the pack.

" What do you guys want to eat?" Mikey wondered as he searched the fridge, head buried way in the back of it, " I don't know about you guys, but I want pizza." Mikey didn't leave any time for us to answer his what do we want to eat question. When it came to lunch, Mikey always decided what to eat.

" Sounds good to me." Raph's voice came from the kitchen doorway. We all turned and seen Lily and Raph standing there. It was strange because they usually spend hours alone in his room.

" Back so soon?" Leo said sarcastically.

" I heard the word lunch." Raph shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal that him and Lily spent hours alone.

" Fair enough." Leo shrugged back and turned back towards the fridge. This whole time he had been avoiding eye contact with Karai.

" I got the pizza!" Mikey announced proudly and lifted up the left over pizza box with one hand.

" Good job." Raph began with a sarcastic tone, " Now handed it over before you eat it all."

The room shared a moment of laughter. It was nice to see all of us together laughing. Especially when Karai was on our side now. But except that it wasn't all of us. There was one person missing from this scene. One person that would have completed this whole scenario. One person who definitely would have laughed with us. And the person missing from this scene, was Donnie.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update guys! As you can probably tell, this chapter is kinda long. But, I got it up and ready to read so that's good. Um, I guess all I need to say is thanks for sticking with me and please please review! :)**


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

" Come on Donnie." I pleaded for the third time, " Please eat."

" I dunno..." Donnie hesitated to take a bite. And honestly I didn't blame him. I was trying to feed Donnie some toast for lunch. I was already done my slice of left over pizza and I had told the guys that I was going to go feed Donnie. He hadn't eaten breakfast so I thought he would be hungry.

" You can handle soup and since you haven't thrown up in over two weeks now, I thought it would be a good time to try something a little more solid. You've been eating nothing but soup and water for the past month or so. For the first month you wouldn't even eat, you would only drink. So please at least try a bite." I begged.

" Fine." Donnie gave up and took the plate of buttered toast from me and began eating. I was glad to see him eating something solid for a change. Donnie had grown so pale and thin these past two months I was beginning to worry about his health. I know that it's hard to eat when your sick, and Donnie wasn't 100% better yet, but I still had to get him to eat.

" So?" I waited to see if Donnie was going to be able to handle it.

" I'll be fine." Donnie closed his eyes and smiled as he responded. His black eyes had faded a bit, but you could still see a faint hint of black and blue around them. This brought sadness to my heart.

" Good." I nodded my head in satisfaction. I couldn't let Donnie see me worry about him too much, because that would only worry him more, " So how ya been?" I started the conversation with an ice breaker.

" Not bad...I guess." Donnie shrugged. I could tell that Donnie wasn't telling the entire truth. First, because I could always tell when Donnie was lying and second because Donnie never wanted anyone to worry over him so he would always lie about how he was really feeling.

" What do you mean I guess? What's wrong?" I asked. Trying not to show to much sympathy.

" Well..." Donnie still hesitated. Him and I had grown close, again, over the past two month. But never has close as we once were. Right now, Donnie and I were just friends, and that was one of the worst feelings in the world. But as a friend, just a friend, I was going to be there no matter what and make sure that Donnie felt comfortable around me. Even if he doesn't remember me.

" It's okay Donnie, you can tell me." I told him and rubbed his leg. The non-broken one of course. But right there and then, I was fighting the urge to just run my hand up his entire body and just kiss him. Every time we even just touched, I got this irresistible feeling to just kiss Donnie. But I had to contain myself for him, and so far, I was doing a pretty good job.

Donnie smiled at me and that just made me want to kiss him more. It wasn't a smile that revealed his teeth, or his missing tooth. It's been so long since I seen his missing tooth. But I just sat there on the edge of his bed quietly and patiently as I waited for him to answer.

" Well, I've been getting these really bad head aches every few hours and my left arm is really starting to bug me. It's really itchy. And uh, my leg, it's been having these short burst of pain every so often and it just feels..." Donnie was at lost for words.

" Broken?" I cut in, trying to help Donnie to find the right word.

" Yeah." Donnie agreed with me then looked me in the eye for a few seconds before glancing away. He must of seen sadness or worry because after he added, " But it's not too bad." Then he coughed a few times.

" Oh Donnie," I almost burst into tears right in front of him. And if there's one thing I know about Donnie, he hates when people cry for him.

" Don't-" Donnie turned his head away, hoping that if he didn't look at me, maybe I wouldn't cry.

" Donnie?" I asked after a moment of silence passed between us.

" Yeah?" Donnie choked on his words like it hurt him to talk. His eyes looked watery like he was going to cry.

" When was the last time someone changed your bandages?" I wondered. I have never done it before. So Splinter was the only one who could have, his bothers haven't visit Donnie yet. Well, except the first time Donnie had thrown up, Leo had walked in on us.

" About three weeks ago." Donnie answered and took another bite of toast. Then he coughed again.

" Three weeks! That's way to long. Your bandages should be changed at least once a week!" I began to shout. Completely angry with myself for being so forgetful.

" It's no big deal really..." Donnie began quietly. My shouting must have startled him.

" Yes it is. And guess what we're gonna do right now." I calmed my voice a bit and leaned down under the bed to get Donnie's medical kit. I pulled it out from under Splinter's bed and got out the bandage roll. I got back up and sat back down on the bed. I took Donnie's empty plate away from him and set it on the side table.

" Ready?" I asked him. My hands were shaking a little as I realized that maybe I wasn't the right person to be doing this. But then again, no one else could but Splinter and he was meditating. Plus this couldn't wait to be done later so I was the only other option Donnie had.

" Ready as I'll ever be." Donnie answered and braced himself for the pain.

First I unwrapped his head bandage. His head had been split open and banged up. Normally a split head would only take a few weeks to heal but in Donnie's condition, it took months. But it was almost healed, there was only a little crack rather then a big one. And because it was healing, that's probably the cause of Donnie's migraines.

Just to be safe, I wrapped up his hole head. I didn't want to take any chances that Donnie would bump his head and split it open again. As I wrapped it up, I seen Donnie's face pinch together. It must of hurt.

The next part I did was his leg. Now bandages didn't substitute for a cast but it was the closes thing that we had. It would at least guide the bones to heal properly. This time Donnie let out little grunts of pain instead of just pinching his face. I also seen his wrist twitch, as if he was holding himself back because he wanted to shoved me out of the way.

I did the little bandages next. Like just ones around his ankle and writes and what not. Just the parts with the little...gashes, if there's such a thing. Like there was this,cut, on his thin and it looked like two little holes. Like Shredder had took his pointy-things on his hand and stabbed it right through Donnie's leg. I tried avoiding his arm for last because that would probably be the one that would hurt the most. But unfortunately, that moment came when I had to unwrap it.

I got Donnie to hold his lower arm with his good arm's hand. It was just to hold it out so I had as much room as possible to unwrap his upper arms. So as I unwrapped his arm, I seen Donnie's grip tighten and he was letting out screams of pain and a few tears streamed down his face.

As I unwrapped it, I seen Donnie's upper left arm get revealed. It was all red, green, and brown. Some flesh had grown back but it then had rotted. The old bandages was red and sticky as I peeled it off. The dried blood mixed with the fresh blood made the blood strings sticky and stretch out like cheese on pizza, it was kinda like a red goo. When his arm was fully revealed, I threw my hands over my mouth to stop me from crying.

" I'm so sorry." I whispered as my voice shook.

Donnie opened his eyes and glanced down at his arm. Then he looked back up at me with horror in his eyes. A few more tears fell from Donnie's eyes and I felt some hot tears stream down my own face.

" Oh Donnie, that looks infected." I brought my hands away from my mouth and only held the side of my face, " You know that I'm gonna have to.." I hesitated to say.

" peel off the dead skin? Yeah, I know." Donnie replied. By the way he said it, I could tell that he was trying to hold down the lump of fear in his throat, but some was still leaking through his voice.

" It's gonna hurt." I warned him about the obvious as I leaned down and got the tweezers out from his medical box.

Donnie gave a hard sallow before answering, " Yeah, I'm aware."

" Ready?" I asked him without even realizing that I wasn't ready to do this.

Donnie just nodded his head and re-closed his eyes as we waited for the pain to start. The thought of after Donnie just got tortured, he was about to experience more pain. This brought more tears to my already watery eyes.

I leaned forward and grabbed the first piece of dead skin between the tweezers, " Slow or fast?" I asked. I wasn't sure if it would hurt less if I did it slow or fast like ripping off a bandage, so I decided that the decision was up to Donnie.

" Fast..." By Donnie's voice I could tell he was just guessing and didn't actually know the answer.

I took a deep breath in and pinched the dead skin and I pulled my arm back. I tried to rip it off fast like a bandage but the sticky red goo made the skin stick and it ended up coming off slowly, but it made a tearing like sound.

When the piece of skin was fully off, Donnie let go of his wrist and threw his hand over his mouth. Donnie's chest started heaving and his hand was becoming soaked in his own tears as whimpers escaped from his mouth.

" I'm s-sorry." Sobs were escaping into my words as I pulled my hand away from his arm.

Donnie shook his head and I knew that he wanted me to keep going. As much as it hurt Donnie, it also hurt me as well. I hated torturing Donnie like this, I hated causing him pain. But it had to be done. So I grabbed another piece of dead skin between the tweezers and yanked it off.

Donnie screamed through his hand and leaned forward as if his stomach hurt. But I learned in health class that that was just a way of dealing with pain. Lunging yourself forward, tightening you ab muscles then releasing them as you lean back. And that's just what Donnie did.

" I-I-I'm-" I began to apologize again but Donnie cut me off.

" Just keep going." His voice was horsed and crackly. The sound of fight back tears with all you might rang in Donnie's tone.

Without a word I grabbed another piece of skin and ripped it off. I did this over and over again and each time I did, a new river would flow its way down Donnie's face.

Finally I finished pulling off all of the dead skin and I wrapped his arm up as quickly as I could, but it quickly became blood soaked.

" There, I'm done." The sadness was so thick in my voice it would hit anyone like a brick wall.

Donnie just nodded his head in agreement and kept his hand over his mouth as he sob. I bit my lower lip to prevent it from quivering but it didn't work as I began to cry with Donnie. I lean in closer to Donnie and brought him into a hug. I avoided his bad arm and just hugged his neck. Donnie hugged me back with one arm and cried into my shoulder.

We sat there for a good half an hour and just cried out hearts out. I was crying because I caused Donnie pain, because I miss my old Donnie and most of all, I was crying for Donnie. I couldn't even imagine what he's been and what hes going through now. It was unimaginable of what kind of pain Donnie was in and that made my heart clench and my teeth chatter.

After a few more sobs, we both started to clam down and we back away from each other a little bit, but we didn't stop hugging. We were just far enough away to see each other's faces, I still had my arms wrapped around Donnie's neck and he had his arm around my waist. Our foreheads were pressed together and I could feel Donnie's hot breath.

I looked deep into his eyes, they had regained some of their luscious brown colour and as I was looking into Donnie's eyes, he was staring back into mine. I seen pain and fear swarm in his eye-balls but also, I seen desire. But for what?

We were so close together that I could feel his body heat coming off of him and hear the pounding off his heart in the atmosphere.

It almost scared me on how much I was in love with Donnie. I had practically fallen in love with him all over again, but it's not like I ever stopped. Even though that I was mad at him about the whole April thing, I still loved him and I_ still_ love him now. Staring into his eyes, I forgot about the April situation and I even forgot that Donnie doesn't remember who I am. And for a short brief moment, I thought I saw a glimpse of my old Donnie shimmer across his eyes.

I was once again fighting the urge to just lunge forwards and kiss him, but that would be kinda inappropriate. Donnie and I were just friends and that was it. But then again, we were just friends the very first time we kissed, this wasn't any different right? Just being friends? But if this is what it feels like to be Donnie's friend, I hated it. I didn't want to be Donnie's friend, I want to be Donnie's girlfriend and I want him to be my boyfriend. I want to date Donnie again, I miss him so much that I don't know if I could fight the temptation anymore.

And apparently I couldn't fight the urge I was feeling deep inside my chest, my heart. I couldn't fight the feelings in my heart anymore so I leaned forward and pulled Donnie close to me. And I touched my lips against his.

What surprised me most was that when I kissed Donnie, he didn't pull away. I felt the softness of his lips on mine and it sent a wave through my system, A wave of relief. I realized that I've been waiting for this moment to happen for so long, how much I missed it, how much I craved it. But now that I had and still having this moment with Donnie, a part of me felt complete.

After about ten seconds, I actually tried to pull away, not because I wanted to, just because I thought it would be an appropriate time too. But I didn't get to pull away very far because Donnie just leaned forward and bit my lip, pulling me back to him.

It didn't hurt when Donnie had bit my lip and pulled me forward, it was a soft bite and he didn't use anything teeth. It felt kinda good, no, actually it felt amazing. To know that Donnie wasn't done kissing me, to know that maybe, just maybe, a part Donnie wanted me back, it felt...amazing.

* * *

**Yeah! Another chapter done, and on to the next! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did, and sorry if I grossed anyone out. But please review and tell me what you think of my story so far. Thanks! :D**


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

After a few more minutes of kissing, Donnie and I had pulled away from each other. Confusion and shock were taking over Donnie's eyes. They had the same look in them the night that we first kissed, just a little over a year ago.

I immediately let go of Donnie's neck and ran out of the room. I didn't mean to rush out like that, I was just so freaked out. I thought I had wanted to kiss Donnie, and at that moment I really really did. But afterwards? I started to doubt myself.

I ran my hands over my face, trying to think. But what confused me was, I didn't know what I was trying to think of. _Should I go back in? No, or, maybe I should. Is Donnie just as freaked out as me? Why did I kiss him? Why am I freaked out? We kissed before...but not like this. He only knew me for, well two months. But that was around the time I first kissed him...I think_. Question after question and thought after thought was going through my head, but it didn't really feel like I was thinking of any of them. I felt confused.

It was only a few minutes after I stood there thinking that I realized that Splinter was no longer in the training room. _Had he actually gone outside of the dojo? _I thought to myself. _Oh great, another question._

I made my mind stop asking questions and I just decided to walk out of the training room and see where Splinter actually was. I put one foot in front of another as I headed down the stairs and entered the living room. My eyes widen as I seen the scene in front of me.

Sitting on the couch was Raph, Lily, Leo, Mikey, Karai and Splinter. Raph was curled up in a little bawl, holding his knees close to his chest and rocking himself back and forth. He was sitting in the corner of the couch, where the two couches connected to make one big corner couch. Beside him was Lily, she was holding Raph and comforting him as tears streamed down his face and even though Lily's blonde hair was cover most of her face, I could still see the path of tears that stained her cheeks.

Next I seen Mikey and Leo holding each other. They were crying as well. They were sitting relevantly close to Lily and Raph but they were about two couch cushions away. Sitting on the other side of Raph and Lily, was Splinter and Karai. They were hugging each other as well, and like the others they were crying silent tears. Except it was more like Splinter was crying and Karai was comforting him.

Finally, John was standing up pacing around. He was to the back of the couch, on the level that was higher then the couch, or in simpler terms, he was behind the rest of them. I knew John well enough that when he was nervous, he would pace around in small circles taping his chin. And that's just what he was doing.

" Guys, what's going on?" I wondered. Curious to why they were all crying.

" We-e heard Donnie scr-screaming and then his screaming just st-oped." Mikey stuttered.

I came to sit down on the couch with them. But before I sat down, I walked over to John and guided him to the group. Then I sat down between the group of Raph and Lily, and Leo and Mikey.

" Guys it's okay. I was just changing Donnie's bandages." I left out the part of the dead skin and of course, the kissing.

" Oh." The all said simultaneously and they all looked down at the ground.

" How is he doing?" Leo asked. His voice was still haunted by fear and depression.

" Good...I guess." I realized that I gave the same answer Donnie did when I asked him how he was, " He gets really bad headaches from time to time and his arm is really starting to bug him." I explained.

" How does it look, his arm?" Leo wondered. Leo was about the only one who had calmed down enough to speak.

" Really gross." I almost laughed at my answer, but when I seen the seriousness in Leo's ocean blue eyes, my laughter quickly died, "Honestly. It looks really bad." I told them, not sugar coating the truth at all, " It looks infected."

" Like, how bad?" Leo asked hesitantly.

" Like...like..." I didn't know how to describe it. It was indescribable.

" Do you think we'll have to amputate it?" Raph's voice piped up from out of no where.

" NO!" Mikey practically screamed from the top of his lungs and he burst through the comfort of Leo's arms and stood up.

" Mikey, what's wrong?" Leo asked concerned and shocked about how much Mikey had screamed.

" It's just that..." Mikey rubbed his shoulder as he hesitated, " Sometimes I get these dreams about where my arm get's cut off..." Mikey continued slowly but as he spoke, we all gathered around him in a tight circle, " And then when I wake up...I can like, feel it missing." Mikey shook with horror and fear.

Before any of us had a chance to react, Raph had walked forward and pulled his baby brother into a hug, Leo followed shortly after. Then Karai, John, Lily, Splinter and myself all glanced at each other with sad eyes as the brothers finished hugging.

" So amputating is definitely out of the question." Karai huffed, arms crossed.

" So, do we just wait for it to heal itself?" Lily wondered.

" No," John shook his head and was rubbing his chin like he did when he was thinking intensely, " If it's as bad as Taylor says, we can't wait for it to heal itself, it wouldn't heal itself. It's too far gone."

" So there's nothing we can do?" Raph shouted, arms flailing.

Raph's question got me worried so I began to think to myself, the outside world started to blur around me as I got deep in thought._ We can't just do nothing. If we do nothing Donnie's arm will never heal. We need do to something that would heal it. Make it better. Let's see...,_ Nothing came to mind but the word heal kept repeating in my head._ Heal...heal...heal.._

" I got it!" I suddenly shouted into the air to no one in particular, more towards myself.

" You got an idea?" Leo shouted and made his way through the crowd.

" It could work... but does he have any left?" I mumbled to myself, unaware of Leo's question.

" What? What could work?" Mikey got excited and nearly jumped out of the air.

I ignored Mikey's question as well. I was still deep in concentration and I began to walk towards Donnie's lab. I heard many footsteps behind me as the followed me through the big metal doors. Then I walked over to Donnie's storage cabinet and began searching. I searched through test tubes and ointments. I looked passed, harmless, chemicals and minerals but I never found what I was looking for.

" Taylor, what are you doing?" Mikey's voice said from behind me. When I didn't find what I was searching for, I turned around to face them and to answer their many questions.

" Healing cream." I answered.

" What?" Mikey raised an eyebrow.

I sighed, " Remember our big fight with the Shredder? Well we all go hurt, Donnie made a healing cream and it healed our gashes in seconds. Maybe it would work on Donnie's arm." I explained my theory.

They all shared glances. Surprised and hopeful glances, thinking that my idea might work.

" But," I continued, " Donnie doesn't have any left. We used it all the first time and he never made more." I said disappointingly.

" Do you think Donnie could make more?" Lily suggested, she had not lost all hope, not yet anyway.

" No I don't think so. The time he made the healing cream, it's part of the period that he's forgotten." I told her sadly.

" Oh." Lily looked down at the ground.

" Well he did it once, and knowing that big brain of his, the memory is in there somewhere. Maybe we could at least ask him." Raph blurted out quickly. Actually, he blurted it out as soon as Lily had appeared sad.

" Yeah I guess it couldn't hurt to ask." I agreed, slowly.

" Great. Then go ask." Raph said in a demanding way.

" Wait why do I have to do it?" I defended myself. Only realizing that it sounded weird after I had said it. So I couldn't take it back.

" Why wouldn't you want to? Your his girlfriend" Raph pointed out.

I don't know why, but hearing Raph call me Donnie's girlfriend kinda made me mad, but most of all it made me sad. Sad, because even though that Donnie is still technically my boyfriend, I'm not his girlfriend anymore. He doesn't remember who I am. We're just friends, no matter how much I wished that I was his girlfriend, it wasn't true.

And when I didn't respond with words right away, everyone knew that Raph had crossed some sort of line. Everyone seemed to notice, everyone but Raph. He just kinda stared at me in confusion and expectancy. He was waiting for me to respond.

What Raph had said echoed in my ears. There was no escaping his words and that made my system start to bubble. The anger was building up inside of me and the tears were building up inside my eyes, just waiting to come out, like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. So before I could show any real emotional response, I ran out of Donnie's lab in a hurry.

As I ran, I heard the rest of the gang follow me. They were hot on my trail but I had ran to my room shut my curtain before any of them could enter. Now normally a curtain would not have stopped them to come rushing in, but they knew when to come into my room and went not too. But even though I was in my room, I could still hear them talking on the other side of the wall.

" Should we go in after her?" Mikey whispered to his brothers, friends, and father.

" I don't even know what's the matter. Was it something I said?" Raph whispered back.

" No Raph, you didn't do anything wrong." Karai hushed sarcastically.

" Donnie doesn't remember who she is! They're obviously not dating any more!" Leo half whispered half shouted back at Raph.

" Woops." Raph added.

" You should go and apologize." Mikey whispered.

" My sons. We shall leave Taylor alone for now, she needs time to think." Splinter didn't bother whispering, already knowing that I was listening to every word that they said from the other side.

" So what do we do now?" Leo wondered.

" Wanna watch a movie?" Mikey suggested. When Mikey had suggested it, I got a tiny bit jealous. A movie sounded nice. A nice relaxing movie with some warm popcorn. But I didn't dare to come out.

" Sure, what movie?" John agreed to Mikey's idea.

" Avatar!" Lily almost screamed. That was her all time favourite movie.

" Sounds good." Raph agreed and then they all walked away from my room. Now avatar was a three hour movie, so I was going to spend at least three hours alone in my room. It was three O'clock now, so by six the movie should be done.

I ended up spending the rest of the day in my room, just letting my thoughts wander. I thought about Karai being Miwa and I thought about Donnie and his healing cream. But then, at 10'o'clock, it sounded like they decided to watch another movie, a horror movie by the way the screams were coming from the living room.

At that point I sneaked out of my room without making a sound. I peered in the living room with my body up against the hallway wall.

I seen Raph holding Lily in his big arms. And she would hide her face in his chest every time a scary part would happen. Then Mikey, Leo, John, and Karai was all huddled in one big group, protecting each other. A big knot was rising up in my throat as I seen all of them together, especially when I seen Lily and Raph together. Before any of them figured out that I was watching them, I ran back into my room and crashed down on my bed and began to cry.

I was happy that Lily and Raph are together, well sorta together, but I was jealous. I was jealous that I could no longer do that with Donnie, no matter how badly I wanted too. I missed cuddling up with Donnie, I missed his arms around me, protecting me from anything that scared me. I missed him.

" It's not fair." I sobbed to myself, " Why did this have to happen?" I cried and held my pillow, hoping that it would replace the feeling of me cuddling Donnie, but it didn't.

_Why did Donnie have to forget me? Why did he have to lose his memory at all?_ I thought to myself, I was now crying to hard to even speak. _I just want things to go back to the way they were. I want Donnie to remember everything. But is that fair?_ I thought suddenly._ Is it really better if Donnie remembered? I mean, sure he forgets me but he also forgets the torture he's been through. He doesn't even know how he got hurt. Maybe it's for the better that he forgets._

I paused a for a few moments to really think about it then I realized that it wasn't fair. _Donnie deserves to remember. But would he want to remember? All that pain and torture. How Shredder had beaten him so badly that he lost his memory. Who would want to remember that? But, if he does want to remember, how do we get him to remember. What if the pictures don't work? Then what?_

_Wait, what did the book say? Something about not wanting to remember something so badly that it makes you forget...or something like that. But what would Donnie not want to recall? Maybe the torture thing, but that wouldn't cause him to forget me right? Karai thinks it has something to do with me. Has anything bad happened? _I kept going through ideas and moments that happened between me and Donnie. Moments that would really hurt Donnie. _But I have never hurt Donnie. At least not physically. I thought. But wait, what about emotionally?_

I remembered the other way of hurting someone, emotionally. Then I realized that I had hurt Donnie emotionally. It just popped into my head, it had to be it! The scene, I guess you could call it, that Donnie didn't want to remember, was our fight.

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**I just want to say that I'm really sorry for not posting this chapter sooner! It's a long story but I don't think you guys want to hear all of my excuses so I'm just going right out and apologizing! Again, I'm super sorry about this, maybe I'll post another chapter today to make it up to you. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed, please review and I'm still really sorry! :)**


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I wanted to jump out of bed and run to Donnie immediately. Maybe if I described our fight scene to Donnie, he'll at least remember something. But, that's also one thing that I don't want Donnie to remember, hes already been through enough pain, for a life time.

I rolled over in frustration_. I didn't know what to do. Should I go to Donnie? Or would it be too weird because we just kissed? Should I even mention the fight scene? Is it a good idea? Or a horribly bad one?_

Then my thoughts got interrupted by a loud grumble of my stomach. I realized just then that I skipped super and I noticed just know how hungry I was. I threw my legs off of my bed and into the air as I jumped off my bed. I carefully pulled open my curtain, trying not to wake any sleeping turtle. I tip toed out of my room and into the living room.

I seen Raph and Lily still huddled up on the couch, but they were asleep. Lily was laying on Raph's chest and cuddling one of his arms while Raph had the other arm hanging off the arm rest on the couch, mouth wide open with rumbles of snores.

I smiled as I walked by. I got so caught up in Lily and Raph that I forgot to look where I was going and I bumped right into Karai's tube. I rubbed my head as I got up and I just stared blankly at the tube. It was weird not seeing Karai sleeping in there. It seemed kinda, empty.

I shrugged off the empty thought and continued to the kitchen. I got myself a little bowl of fruit loops and I ate quietly in the kitchen. I was paranoid that with every crunch I made, I would wake someone up. Finally I ate the last loops that floated in my bowl and I set the dishes in the sink.

I turned around to head out of the kitchen but a green mutant was standing in the door frame.

" What are you doing up?" I half whispered and half shouted.

" I was just about to ask you that." Raph smirked jokingly and walked over to me, " I couldn't sleep with all that crunching."

" Very funny." I said unamused on the outside but Raph did this kind of sarcastic humour so much that it really was funny.

" So, what are you doing up this late?" Raph asked and began searching through the cupboards for a midnight snack.

" I couldn't sleep." I shrugged as I watched Raph take out a bad of chips and began munching.

" Look, Taylor. I'm uh..." Raph began but then mumbled the rest of his sentences so I couldn't make it out. But I had a hunched that it wasn't just the chips that was causing Raph to mumble.

" What was that?" I asked evilly, already having an idea of what Raph was trying to say.

He let out an annoyed sigh before speaking, " I'm sorry for the whole...Donnie boyfriend thing from earlier." Raph gathered all of his pride to apologize me to.

I knew how hard it is for Raph to apologize, especially to a girl. So I was a bit touched but I wasn't about to get all mushy with him.

" It's okay." I reassured him and stole one of his chips as I walked out of the kitchen.

" Hey!" I heard Raph shout from behind. That caused me to smile.

I walked out of the kitchen and saw Lily, still fast asleep on the couch, was hanging half off of it.

" Thanks for taking such good care of my friend." I spun around and said sarcastically to Raph as he just barely walked out of the kitchen.

" Your welcome." Raph replied and crunched another chip, " Shes fine, Lily sleeps like a log."

" Yeah I noticed at all my sleep overs that I had with her. It took two cans of whipped cream just to wake her up." I laughed at the memory.

Raph stared at me for a moment then decided that he didn't want to know with a shake of his head.

" Is John still here?" I wondered. Since Lily was around, I figured John would be too.

" Nah he went home." Raph replied and wiped the crumbs off of his face and crumpled up the chip bag in his hand.

" Where's Karai sleeping?" The thought of Karai just popped into my head as I glanced at her tube.

" In Leo's room."

" Wheres Leo sleeping?"

" My room."

" And your..."

" On the couch...for now." Raph laughed and shifted his eyes towards Lily then sighed. I could tell he was either thinking or was up to something.

" What ya thinking." I almost said in a taunting way.

" Just how no matter what positions shes in, Lily's beautiful when shes sleeps." Raph sighed. I was surprised to hear such a sappy answer from Raph, or even an answer at all. This just got my idea light bulb sparking.

" Are you two...you know...like...dating." I wondered with glee finding it's way into my tone.

" Not officially, but I hope to soon." Raph sounded like he was talking out of this world, like he forgot that I was standing just a few feet away from him.

" Look at Raph, hes the laddies man." I joked before the situation could get awkward.

Raph looked up at me with a grin and threw his empty chip bag at my face. I caught with one hand before it could even touch me. I knew that gesture was a silent thanks for cracking a joke instead of making it even more serious. Raph didn't like to open up, to anyone.

" Congratulations Raph! You can throw a chip bag. Next's step is how to properly throw a ninja star." I joked.

" You wanna go?" Raph cracked his knuckles. He had a excited look to his eyes. He was having fun joking around.

" Bring it on, Raphie." I pretended to crack my neck to look tough and I used Raph's least favourite nickname.

" Oh that is it." Raph exclaimed with pure joy as he charged me. I quickly and swiftly dodged him.

" Losing your game Raph?"

" I'm just getting started." Raph smiled and charged me again. Simultaneously, I charged him and we plummeted to the ground and started wrestling. I knew that Raph already had this fight won, he was after all like three times my weight and had way more muscle then me.

" Now who's losing their game?" Raph questioned as he sat on top of me, pinning my arms down.

" Okay okay, you win. Now get off me before you break my lungs." I struggled underneath Raph's grip.

Raph got off and offered a hand to help me up.

" Even though you suck at wrestling, you were pretty swift." Raph attempted a compliment.

" Thanks Raph. If I can't win against you with muscle, I might be able to win with swiftness." I took his compliment and made it a temptation for him to make a smart remark, and sure enough he did.

" I said you were pretty good. But your still not better then me." Raph gave me a wink.

" Thanks Raph." I yawned, " Not that getting crushed by you hasn't been fun, but I think I'm gonna go to bed now."

" Good night peanut." Raph used a nickname he had given me a while back. Him and I had to go against each other in a training exerciser and he had almost broken my arm doing so. He said that he barely touched me and that I could crack as easily as a peanut shell. And now the name kinda stuck.

" Good night." I said back to him and walked back to my room. I flung the covers over my head as I nodded off to sleep.

* * *

" So, these are all the pictures we took." Mikey handed me his T-phone and I began to scroll through the tens of thousands of pictures they had taken. Most of them were serious, and just plain old pictures of the scenes, like they were suppose to be. But there was a few pictures of Mikey making some sort of goofy face. The first one was funny, but after twenty, it got annoying.

" Real mature Mikey." I growled sarcastically. Mikey just smile and gave me two thumbs up. And as usual, I forgave him instantly. Mikey is a lot like a puppy, they always get in trouble but you can't stay mad at them for more then a minute.

" So do we show him the pictures or what?" Raph wondered.

" Not yet," I announced, " I want to wait till we have all of the pictures, and we can just show him all of them at once."

" Why?" Leo snapped. His face was stern but then soften as he realized that he was acting a bit harsh.

" Well," I began calmly, " We don't know how long it will be before we take another picture. I don't think it would be fair if we left Donnie waiting in...anticipation for the next photo. I just think it would be better if we wait for all the photos to be taken."

" yeah, your right, sorry." Leo shrunk down in his seat and his voice lowered.

A conversation spiked up about what pictures to take next and what not. But I the world around me blurred out for a moment and the insane chatter sounded like distance mumbling. I was worried about Leo. He was acting weird. Leo never snaps, only at Raph. Plus he was just sitting in the corner of the couch as the rest of us talked frantically. He was sitting there, arms folded and his face was hard and expressionless. I wished that I knew how to read minds at that moment because I was dying to know what Leo was thinking.

" Taylor!" I snapped back into reality as Karai shouted my name. I shook my head and I felt my cheeks go red with embarrassment.

" Sorry, what was that?" I asked quickly, hoping to skip by this as quickly as possible.

" Did you want to go get some stuff that Donnie used on your first date?" Karai repeated the offer I had missed.

" Sure." I was a bit surprised at the gesture. I had never really realized that I would actually have to re-create mine and Donnie's first date scene. I just always thought of it just being there. But I shouldn't have a problem remembering it. My first date was the most romantic night of my life, I remember each flame of each candle. I remember how it was dimly lite with L.E.D lights and the white table cloth with the lace trimming match the setting perfectly. The image was glued to the back of my mind and was unforgettable.

" Then come on." Karai pointed her head towards the exit and began to walk to it. I ran a few steps to catch up with her.

" Wait what about..." I began then stopped myself. I was going to ask if the guys were coming, then I realized that they couldn't be seen in the stores. I gave my head a shake. Then I glanced down at my watch and realized that it was a quarter past twelve, " Can you guys feed Donnie while we're gone?" I shouted back to the turtles. They just stared at me blankly, I took that as a yes, " Thanks."

Karai and I walked for about five minutes in silence. I kept shifting my glance back and forth between the ground and her. Hesitating if I should start up a conversation.

" Must you keep staring at me?" Karai wondered, not making eye contact with me at all.

" Sorry. I just didn't know if..." I began but then got cut off by a wave of Karai's hand.

" You don't have to be nervous around me. I'm on your side now." Karai still never even took a moment to look at me when she spoke. It was like she saw some sort of hypnotizing light up ahead and she couldn't look away.

" Yeah, I know." I said defensively. I didn't want to offend Karai, and I wasn't usually nervous around her. She and I began good friends over the past month or two.

I had this feeling that it was going to fall quiet again but Karai didn't let that happen.

" So what's going on?"

" What do you mean?" I puzzled. I had a hunch that I knew what she meant. Karai was on to me.

" You've been avoiding Donnie for the past what? Day now? You usually go visit Donnie every single day. So what's up?" Karai asked, finally looking at me as she spoke. And when she did, I knew my hunch was correct. I wasn't purposely avoiding Donnie, well not really. I just couldn't face him, not when I had ran out right after we finished kissing._ Like he did to me the first time we kissed. _The thought had just popped into my head and I felt my eyes widen a bit.

" What?" Karai leaned towards and asked expectantly, getting a little impatient that I wasn't answering her.

" Is Lily coming with us?" I randomly changed the topic, but for a good reason.

" Uh sure." Karai replied, " But don't change the subject."

" I'll tell you, but Lily had to be with us too." I explained and walked on ahead.

I lifted up the man hole cover as we reached our destination. I crawled out of the sewer and Karai followed me out. We walked straight up to Lily's but I jumped up on the roof.

" What are you doing?" Karai wondered, looking up at me confusingly.

" Lily's parents still think I'm missing. So if they open the door, I can't be seen." I whispered to Karai, " Now knock on the door."

Karai did as she was told and Lily's father had peeked through the mail slot. Lily's parents were and always will be super paranoid and over protective. They were very strict and up tight. Their up tightness didn't rub off on Lily.

" Yes? What do you want?" Lily's father called through the mail slot.

" I'm here to see Lily." Karai spoke clearly, confidently and happily. Karai isn't really a positive person and usually has a smart remark up her sleeve at all times. So it was weird to hear her all happy and what not.

The mail slot close and we heard Lily's father's voice boom through out their house.

" Lily! Your friend is here!" Her dad shouted.

" Which one?" Lily shouted back. Lily had always had a very loud family.

" I'm not sure. But she looks Chinese!" Lily's dad whispered loudly.

Karai folded her arms and huffed. I also heard her whisper underneath her breath, " Japanese."

" Dad!" Lily screeched and came to the door, unlocking all of the locks, " Don't say that so loudly. And shes Japanese." Lily scolded her dad before opening the door.

" Hi." Karai said, unamused.

" Hi Karai. Where's..." Lily's voice trailed off as Karai pointed to the roof. She glanced up and I waved down at Lily.

" Dad, I'm-uh- going..shopping with my friend!" Lily made up the first reason to leave the house that she could think off. I could tell by the way she stuttered. Little did Lily know that we were actually going shopping.

She closed the door behind her and I hoped down from off of the roof. I landed beside Karai and in front of Lily. I turned around to face her.

" So what's up?" Lily asked, clapping her hands together.

" Wait..." Karai interrupted me before I even had a chance to respond, " It's a Thursday. Aren't you suppose to be in school?"

" It's a P.D day." Lily explained with a shrug of her shoulders.

" Did you know about this?" Karai looked at me while asking. I nodded my head.

" Anyway." I focus my attention back to Lily, " We're going shopping to get props to re-create mine and Donnie's first date scene." I explained.

" Wow. I'm such a good liar that I didn't even know that I wasn't lying." Lily smiled, pleased with herself. Karai shot me a confused glance, I shook my head, warning her not to ask.

* * *

**Haha! I did it! Two chapters in one day! So, I hope I made it up to you guys for posting chapter 14 so lately. Plus I made this chapter light and fluffy, so it wasn't too sad. Anyway, I really hope all is forgiven and please review! Thanks! :D**


	17. Chapter 16

**Random line here that I don't know how to get rid of...**

* * *

Chapter 16

" So where to first?" Lily asked, joyfully skipping down the street as we walked the roads of down town. But then again, in New York, every where you go is down town.

" I was thinking Nics and Nacs supply paradise." I told them my go-to store.

" Sounds good." Lily cheered in response and slowed down her pace so she could walk with her companions.

We continued to walk, but not in complete silence. Lily was humming a random tune with no source of melody what so ever and by the way Karai was twitching, I could tell she was getting on Karai's nerves. This caused me to scuffle out a laugh.

" What's so funny princess." Karai teased and gave me a little shove with her elbow. I knew that she knew that I was laughing at her short temper. But her pushing me made me bump into Lily.

" Nothing." I said innocently and looked up and the sky to avoid anyone's amused glares, " And don't call me princess."

" I think it's cute." Lily admitted with a raise of her shoulders and a shy smile.

" Cute?" Karai had an 'are you serious' tone to her voice. I knew that Karai only called me princess to annoy me, not because it was cute.

" Karai doesn't do cute." I told Lily with an ' an duh' voice and walked into Nics and Nacs supply paradise. This store was where I did all my art shopping. It was a big store and all the walls were a different, bright, colour. It was a true creative store. It sold all kinds of Nicknacks, it was basically a giant scrap-booking store.

" Wow." Karai blurted out. She was staring wide eyed around the store. Clearly she had never been in a bright colourful store. But growing up with Shredder, I can't imagine why she would go into a bright shop in the first place.

" So, where do we start?" Lily asked, grabbing a cart.

" The scented candle section." I instructed and took the lead. One of the thing I noticed the most about my first date was the dancing flames of the thick white candles. I grabbed a bunch of them and tossed them in the cart while I also got three thin white candles, one of them taller then the other two. Then I called them onwards with a wave of my hand we headed for the light section of the store. I grabbed a package of white L.E.D lights and I searched for the exact table cloth. But I couldn't find it.

" Dang-it." I mumbled to myself.

" What?" Lily asked. I guess I mumbled louder then I expected to.

" They don't have the same table cloth." I explained to her but didn't tare my gaze away from the table cloths. Hoping that maybe if I stared at them long enough, I would find the matching cloth that maybe I missed before. But that didn't happen. A wave of disappointment washed over me like a shell on the sandy beach.

" Do you really need the same table covering?" Karai questioned.

" Yes!" I snapped but then calmed myself, " Sorry. But every detail counts."

" Maybe Donnie still has it." Lily offered her idea, trying to brighten up the atmosphere.

" Yeah, maybe." I rested my gaze on the ground before continuing to walk.

" So, is that all we need. The candles and the lights?" Lily piped up and asked.

" Yeah I guess. I mean the table is still back at home. Then all we need is the table cloth, which hopefully is at home. And Donnie still has the stereo player." I talked more to myself then anyone else around me.

" Stereo player?" Lily scrunched up her face in confusion.

" Donnie played music during the date." I explained and headed for the cash resister. I loaded up the items on the cash table as the cashier began to scan them.

" Oouu what was the first song you guys danced to?!" Lily shouted excitedly. Karai just sighed with annoyance, she really wasn't the romantic type and hated to hear about anything that had to do with romance.

" Trying not to love you, by Nickelback." I shrugged my shoulders and payed for the supplies before carrying the bags out of the store.

" Isn't that a rock band?" Lily asked and took the shopping bags from me out of a force of habit. Lily didn't like not having something to do at all time, so every time we went shopping together, she would carry the bags.

" Yeah, but they do_ some_ slow songs." I explained and continued to walk down the streets.

" Are we done shopping?" Karai asked hopefully.

" Yeah, I think so." I told her, " Guys, I'm just gonna tie my shoe. It came undone. You guys keep going, I'll catch up." I told them and knelt down to lace up my shoe. Lily and Karai shrugged and kept walking.

When I was done, I got back up and was planing to run up ahead to catch up with my friends but I felt someone grab my wrist and pull me around the building corner. With my inner ninja kicking in, I took the guy's hand and flipped him over and onto the ground.

" Ow." A high voice called out. Though it was high pitched, the voice did belong to a male. I stared down at the red, shaggy haired guy holding his wrist in pain lying on the ground. His cheeks was full of freckles and his eyes were an icy blue and against his pale skin, shone very brightly.

" Garret?" I called out the boys name and he looked up at me. I held out my hand and helped him up, " Don't sneak up on me like that. You nearly gave me a heart-a-tack."

" And you nearly broke my hand. Now we're even." Garret replied, still rubbing his wrist.

" Please, a simple wrist twist wouldn't have broken your arm." I rolled my eyes. Garret was the guy my parents wanted me to meet. We've actually met in school before but we rarely even said hi in the halls. So I didn't know him that well.

" What do you want Garret?" I asked a bit annoyed with him. Did he really think it was okay to just pull people into an ally between two buildings?

" I need to talk to you." Garret said anxiously, shifting his feet.

" Right now? We've never talked before this." I told him, starting to get puzzled.

" I know but-" Garret began but I cut him off.

" Look, I don't have time for this." I rubbed my eyes while speaking, " I'm really busy at this moment. Maybe some other time we can talk." I told him as gently as I could. I had no idea why Garret wanted to talk to me, this just came out of no where. I began to turn to walk away but Garret called after me.

" Just go to your parents house tomorrow night! It's important!" Garret shouted. I turned around and narrowed my eyes in a confused matter. What was so important? But I just told him that I would be there and I ran to catch up with Karai and Lily.

I didn't really want to visit with my parents but I knew Garret wouldn't let me leave until I agreed to meet with him.

" What took you so long?" Karai wondered as she seen me coming up from behind them, " How long does it take to tie your shoe?"

" I...couldn't get the bow right." The idea just came to me in the moment. I decided to keep the whole Garret conversation a secret, for now.

" So do we go back to the sewers now?" Lily asked, her voice hushed.

" Actually," I began as I realized there was one more thing I had to do, " I want to go to Antonio's."

" Okay." Lily agreed. Lily already knew about Antonio and my dad but Karai didn't.

" Antonio's?" She questioned.

" Yeah, Donnie and I went there one day. I want to take a picture of his restaurant and Antonio himself." I explained and searched my hand bag for my T-phone.

" So, you know Antonio himself?" Karai guessed.

" Yes. Him and my dad use to be best friends." I continued my explanation, " But they had a big fight and now they don't speak to each other anymore. But I think of him like an uncle."

" Oh." Karai looked down at the ground. I could tell the my dad's and Antonio's relationship reminded her of Shredder's and Splinter's.

We all walked the rest of the way to Antonio's in silence, lost in our own thoughts.

" Here we are." I broke the deep silence as we approached the restaurant. I got a front view picture of it first and then I walked to the back with Lily and Karai following me. I took a picture of the back of the restaurant. Then I knock on the back window and waited for Antonio to answer.

" Taylor! What brings you here? I haven't seen you in a while." Antonio's Italian accent made me smile.

" Can I take a picture of you?" I wondered. I heard Karai in the back almost burst out laughing. It was a weird question, but I couldn't put it any other way.

" What?" Antonio questioned.

" I need to take a picture of you." I didn't explain why, I thought it would be better if I didn't. And by the expression on my face, Antonio knew to not ask any questions and just let me do it.

" Alright." Antonio agreed and opened the rest of the split door and then he smiled. I took a picture of him with my T-phone then I tucked it back into my hand bag.

" So, who are your friends?" Antonio asked, gesturing to Lily and Karai.

" Well, you already know Lily." I pointed to Lily as she gave a happy wave, " And this is my new friend Karai." I pointed to Karai and she waved to Antonio.

" Nice to meet you." Antonio stuck out his hand and shook Karai's. After that we chatted for a bit before saying our goodbyes and then we walked back to the sewers.

" Well isn't he a cheerful fellow." Karai said and lifted up the man whole cover.

" Yeah, that's Antonio for you." I giggled and hopped in after Lily. She had decided to come for a short visit before she had to go back home for supper. We were out shopping for half of the day.

We walked for a little bit before Karai had stopped us all.

" I almost forgot. Taylor, now that Lily is here, what's going on?" Karai asked her question from earlier. I was hoping that she had forgotten, but much like a grudge, Karai never forgets.

" Why? What's going on?" Lily wondered, her voice spiked with concern.

I shifted my eyes and suddenly felt uneasy about the whole thing. _What will they think of me after I tell them? Would their opinions really change? Am I making to big of deal about this?_ I thought to myself. But after a moment of hesitation I realized that I was being ridiculous and I just decided to blurt it out.

" About a day ago. Donnie and I had a little...moment together. Some things were said and one thing led to another and then next thing I knew...we were...kissing." I told them shyly.

Lily's mouth dropped open when Karai remained emotionless.

" So?" Karai questioned.

" So?!" Lily yelled back at Karai, arms waving high in the air.

" Yeah, it's no big deal." Karai shrugged, completely un-threatened by Lily's shouting.

" Of course it's a big deal! Maybe Donnie's remembering." Lily continued to yell. She was always very over dramatic.

" Wait what?" I raised my voice so it could be heard over Lily's.

" Maybe Donnie's starting to remember." Lily repeated herself but more calmly this time.

" What makes to think that?" I questioned, secretly hoping that Lily's reasoning is completely insane because if he is starting to remember...that would give everyone a bit of hope, but then, if something goes wrong and Donnie wasn't actually remembering, well, everyone would be crushed.

" Well you see, you two were alone and something clicked in Donnie's brain that made him think, oh my gosh I love this girl. And then he kissed you. So, he remembered that he once loved you, thus explaining the kiss, and this is the first step to get his memory back!" Lily explain with a grin, proud of herself for coming up with a theory.

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms together, " _I_ kissed Donnie first." I explained.

" Oh." Lily grunted, now disappointed that her theory didn't really apply anymore.

" Come on, let's just keep walking." Karai said and continued to head towards the lair.

* * *

" We're back!" I yelled and Mikey and Raph turned to face us. Mikey smiled then turned his attention back to the TV when Raph had jumped up off of the couch and ran to hug Lily.

" Where's Leo?" I asked as I observed the scene and the blue masked turtle was missing.

" After he fed Donnie, Leo went straight to his room." Mikey responded absentmindedly, his focus was on the television.

I frowned. Leo had been acting weird for a little while now. But I didn't know what was going with him. Now wandering off into my thoughts, I just kinda walked away from the scene and headed straight for Leo's room.

" Leo?" I called his name and poked my head into his room.

Leo was sitting on his bed and staring at the wall. That was until he took a moment to glance at me, then turned his eyes back on the wall.

Not waiting for him to respond, I walked in and sat beside him on his bed. His room was dimly lit, much like Raph's room was, but Leo's lamp was off so the only source of light was a window. It was more like a grate rather then a window, but it still worked the same way. Small rays of sun were passing through the grate, illuminating Leo's face.

" What's wrong?" I asked him, leaning forward so I could see his eyes. His ocean blue eyes no longer shined. They were dull and the colour was slowly fading from them. His eyes looked cloudy, foggy, stormy. Leo stared lifelessly at the wall, his thoughts overpowering him, thus causing the dullness in his eyes.

" Ever get tired of life?" Leo asked not me, but his wall.

" Yeah." I almost laughed as I responded. "I get tired of life all the time."

" Yeah..." Leo now glanced down at the floor.

" Why do you asked?" I wondered.

Leo looked up at me, the dullness in his eyes sunk in and almost took my breath away.

" I'm getting tired of it." Leo admitted and for a moment the blue returned to his eyes, but it was a sad blue, " I'm tired of all the troubles life has to throw at me. At this family."

" Like what?" My voice was soft when I spoke and my eyes were caring. It was like I could read emotions at that moment, it was like I could see inside of Leo's heart. I could tell what was bothering him, I knew what was bothering him, but I had decided to ask anyway. So he could get it off of his chest.

" Well, I honestly thought that I was over...Karai." Leo began to pour out his heart, " But ever since I learned that she was Miwa, I want her even more."

Leo spoke with such emotion and sorrow. He had really loved Karai, but he can't anymore. There siblings. And Leo was completely aware of this, that's why he's sad. I felt sympathy towards Leonardo, I felt so bad for him that I didn't know what to say. I could tell Leo was swallowing his own emotions as I tried to fight back mine.

" Y-you know that-" I gulped down the rock lodge in my throat as I spoke.

" Yeah I know that I can't be with her." Leo, now with eyes that regained there full colour were filled up with salty water, making them shimmer in the dim light of the sun.

" Did Donnie say anything to you, when you fed him lunch?" I changed the subject, hoping for it to be some what happier, but it wasn't. As soon as I finished my sentences, Leo stopped holding back and he let the tears come as he shook his head no.

I pulled Leo into a tight hug and I listened to him cry. Not saying a word, him and I sat there alone. I wanted to cry with Leo, for Leo, but over the past two almost three months, my tears were all dried out.

" He didn't say anything to me..." Leo's words poured out of his mouth as he cried, " So, I-I started yelling at him. I shouted at Donnie, I did-didn't mean too. I just wanted to hear something from him, even just a simple hi. I screamed for him to get better, but-t it-it's not like he has a choice. He didn't chose to forget..." Leo continued and for the most of it I listened but the last sentenced struck me and caused Leo's voice to fade and my thoughts to grow louder.

_Did Donnie chose to forget? What about the whole wanting to forget something so badly? Maybe, he did chose to forget but didn't realized what he was actually choosing? Wait, that doesn't make sense...does it?_

" ...will you?" Leo's voice came back into my ears as my own thoughts faded.

" What?" I shook my head and asked.

" Will you talk to Donnie, and tell him that I'm sorry?" Leo repeated while he wiped his eyes and broke away from the hug.

" Sh-sure." I stuttered, not realizing what I was getting myself into. I hadn't seen Donnie for almost two days, would that be awkward? But I told Leo that I would do it and I was going to.

" Thanks." Leo smiled and that's when I left him and I walked to the training hollow and into Splinter's room. As I walked in, I seen Donnie holding his head and I heard him panting.

" Donnie?" I called out his name in concern and confusion, was he..crying? I walked over to his bed side and sat down on the edge, " Are you okay?"

He calmed himself down and looked at me. His eyes were watery and his cheeks were stained. Why was he crying?

" L-Leo came in and he-e started scr-screaming and shout-ting at me, too remem-ember. Why? Why did he do that?" Donnie explained through his sobs and tears. His mask was soaking wet, " I-I'm so stupid! W-why can't I-I remember?!"

" That's kinda why I'm here." I told Donnie and he looked at me with wonder, " Leo and I had a talk, literally only a few minutes ago. And-" I tried swallowing the lump in my throat before continuing to speak, " the reason why he yelled at you because he's afraid. He's afraid that he might lose you, forever. He's also a bit hurt that you wont talk to him."

Donnie had a sad look in his eyes. Like he couldn't believe that while he was in pain, he was also hurting his brothers. I could tell Donnie didn't mean to, and he didn't realize that he was hurting them.

" So just so you know, Leo didn't mean to yell at you. He just wants you to remember." I almost whispered as I was tempted to stroke Donnie's hand, for comfort. But I didn't.

" It's not like I have a choice to-" Donnie began but then got cut off by me.

" Atoms." I blurted out the word, seeing if Donnie actually had the choice whether he wanted to remember or not.

" What?" Donnie stared at me in confusion, like I was crazy.

" Atoms, protons, electrons." I continued, closing my eyes.

" What are you..." Donnie's voice trailed off as I continued.

" Protons have a positive charge and electrons have a negative..." I continued. I wasn't really sure what I was doing or saying, all I knew was that I was explaining our fight. But did Donnie know that?

" Are you sure? Yes. Positive? Yes," I began to speak as both me and Donnie, " I don't think so. I'm 100% positive I'm right. So your not gonna consider my theory?" As I explained, Donnie let out a little muffled scream and clenched his head.

" Are you okay?" I stopped my little story for a moment to make sure Donnie wasn't dying.

" Yeah." Donnie replied weakly, " I'm just starting to get a headache. But please, continue."

I took a deep breath before I spoke, " I'm sorry, I'm sorry too. I love you..." I stopped when Donnie screamed even louder and his fingers were practically digging into his scalp.

" Stop!" Donnie yelled and his eyes began to produce tears once again, " Please, stop it." Donnie, no longer yelling was begging me to stop explaining, like my voice was the thing that was causing his migraine. I hated seeing Donnie in pain, so I stopped. The whole wanting to forget our fight thing obviously wasn't working.

" Alright, I'm sorry." I whispered and stared at Donnie, " Are you gonna be okay?" I asked as Donnie unclenched his head and blinked open his eyes.

" Yeah, I'll be fine." Donnie replied but he didn't have me convinced. Donnie was silently crying, soaking his mask even more. I leaned forward and took off Donnie's mask. I didn't know why, it just felt like the right thing to do at that moment. But as soon as I even just simply touched Donnie, I regretted it.

I wanted to redo that kiss we had. Like I said before, and I'll say it again, Donnie's kisses are always so magical, it takes my breath away. So when I just simply got near him, I wanted him, I wanted him to hold me again like he use too, I wanted him to be back to normal. But miracles don't just happen everyday, especially for this family. Neither one of us even mentioned the kiss yet tonight, for me, I was just to scared, but for Donnie? I had know idea why.

So as I removed his purple, tear soaked mask, I couldn't help but wonder, _what was going on inside Donnie's head. Did he want me back?_ But my thoughts evaporated as I seen what was under Donnie's mask. I thought his black eyes had healed, and from what I could tell they had, but the mask was covering some of it and his eyes looked just as black and blue as ever.

Also, what I noticed above all, what I notice, I haven't notice for a long time. Donnie's scare that goes across his right eye. Donnie got that scare from the night we first fought Shredder, well the first time I fought the Shredder at least. Donnie had gotten a knife thrown at his head and in sunk in, but it just barely missed his eye. Ever since it healed, only a scare remained. Going from his forehead, across his eye and onto his cheek. That's when I remembered something very important.

" Your healing cream." I whispered more to myself then Donnie.

" What?" Donnie blinked his eyes open as I held his mask in my hands. It was a bit weird seeing Donnie with no mask, I had never seen him that way before.

" When we went to fight the Shredder..." I began but then afterwards paused because of the shocked look on Donnie's face.

" When did we go fight Shredder?!" Donnie yelled louder then he intended too.

" This all happened before you lost your memory." I explained quickly and a bit harshly. I didn't mean too, but I had to get on with my point, " Everyone got hurt, so you invented a cream that healed our wounds and only left little scratches within the next few minutes."

" Okay..." Donnie trailed off, not really understanding what my point was or where I was going with this.

" Could you make it again?" I asked. I knew it was a long shot, but sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith.

" I-uh... It'll take weeks to just get started on it. I don't even remember let alone how to make it." Donnie already started to reject the idea.

" Come on Donnie." I begged, " Could you please just try?"

Donnie hesitated, thinking hard about the idea, " Bring me to my lab." Donnie decided. His decision shocked me a little bit.

" How?" I asked as Donnie began to struggle in his bed. But with every movement, Donnie flinched, " Donnie stop it! Your in no shape to move!" I shouted at him and tried to get him to stop struggling.

" Look, Taylor. I've been laying in bed for almost three month, doing absolutely nothing. I don't even know what happened to me. I have to do something, and right now the healing cream is my only option." Donnie explained sorrowfully. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was going to go to his lab no matter what. If I decided to help him or not, he was going to do it.

" Fine." I exhaled loudly as I gave in. But I didn't jump up immediately, instead I just kept sitting there, stroking Donnie's mask between my fingers.

" What?" Donnie asked hesitantly as I smiled down at the mask in my hands.

" Nothing." I sighed. The damp mask between my fingers brought smile upon smile on my face. It brought back memories of Donnie and I lying in bed, just talking to each other. I remembered stroking his mask while he ran his fingers through my hair. We talked about all the worries in the world that we faced and would face. But, after we got all of our worries out in the air and shared them with each other, they all disappeared. It was one of the many nights that I cherished most, " Did you want your mask back?" I offered after I cleared my head and got back into reality, " It's still a bit damp though."

" It's okay, I'll wear it anyway." Donnie shrugged and took his mask out of my hands and retied it around his face, " Ready?" He asked.

" Yeah." I nodded and as I got up. I wrapped Donnie's somewhat good arm around my neck to support him and I carefully slid him out of bed. Donnie nearly clasped on the ground with a shriek of pain but I caught him before he did, " Are you okay?!" I nearly yelled as Donnie steady himself.

" Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Let's just keep going." Donnie didn't meet my gaze as he spoke. He always use to do this when either he was lying, or scared to tell me something. But I decided not to question it and I inched forward ever so slowly.

Donnie's broken leg dragged against the ground and he kept his injured arm close to his body as we walked towards the door. With every step we took, every inch we advance, Donnie would shout. He was trying to be strong but sometimes pain consumes us and we can't help but yell. I knew Donnie wasn't well enough to even be standing, but being as stubborn as he his, Donnie was going to go through with this.

Another step, another scream. Three more steps, three more cries. We weren't even half way to the door and I could tell Donnie was already exhausted. He was now putting so much weight on me that I didn't know if I could hold him much longer. But I kept going just as Donnie did. But the with the next step I took I stumbled and almost fell over, this caused Donnie's broken leg to twist and for Donnie to scream on the top of his lungs.

Within three seconds, all three of the turtles brothers came rushing in and they were panting with worry. They were staring at Donnie while he was staring at the ground. Completely aware that his brothers were in the room, Donnie sniffled at the ground, not wanting to cry in front of his brothers.

" What's wrong? What happened?" Leo shouted, shifting on his feet like he wanted to rush forward and take Donnie from me.

" Donnie wants to try to make his healing cream again and I'm taking him to his lab but at first I tried to to talk him out of it but he was going to do it no matter what I said so I thought I would at least help him and..." I explained as quickly as I could, a little afraid that for some reason the turtles would get mad at me.

" Taylor," Leo stopped me, " It's okay." With what he said I knew that he understood that I was scared, and he had calmed me down.

I smiled at them then changed my gaze to Donnie and the guys followed my gaze as well.. Donnie grip tightened on my shoulder, like he was getting ready to move or something. Then what happened next was that Donatello had lifted his head, and met his brothers gaze. Donnie's eyes were big, round, and full of emotions. All of there eyes were full of emotion and it looked like that they were communicating telepathically through them. Donnie hasn't spoken to his brothers for almost three months, not with actual words at least.

Donnie took a sharp breath in, getting ready to speak. He looked at all of his brothers, but then mainly at Leo, " Hi." Donnie said while exhaling, thus making his voice soft.

Remembering our conversation from earlier, Leo smiled at Donnie. All Leo wanted this entire time was a simple hi from his third youngest brother, and he had gotten it. In fact, this was the first words Donnie has spoken to his brothers in months and that made them all smile.

Even thought the hi was mainly directed at Leo, all of the brothers took it as their own. After three months, their brother had finally spoke to them, even if it was just one word, it effected all three of them. Mikey was the first one to step forward and actually approach Donnie. He pulled him into a hug and the two older brothers copied Mikey's actions. But they were all careful to avoid Donnie's injuries. I took about two steps back, sensing that this was a brotherly moment to be shared just among the brothers.

" Hi." They all whispered simultaneously. There voices cracked as they did so and they almost burst out crying.

" Hi." Donnie whispered again, eyes searching frantically around the room. He couldn't quite process what was going on. He didn't realize that someone could forgive another just like that. Donnie was astonished and he buried his face in his brothers shoulders.

" I missed your voice Donnie." I heard Mikey's sad voice begin to whimper.

" I missed yours too." Donnie mumbled through his whimpers.

Now the group of once again four brothers stood there hugging, and whimpering. But they were all happy, for once they weren't crying tears of sorrow, they were crying soft gentle tears of joy. Happiness flooded the room as the gang of brothers broke up there hug.

" C'mon, lets get you to your lab." Raph wiped his eyes as he spoke and I walked over to them as the all helped Donnie to his lab.

As we ventured through the lair, with the support of his brothers and myself, Donnie was able to make it to his lab. But on the way, I realized the the connection between these four brothers was like no other connection I've ever seen. Sure they fight once in a while, but they always come through afterwards, like a family suppose to.

These four shared a bond, a bond stronger then any other. The strongest bond possible between four brothers. Connection that most brothers or sisters don't share. Now that they were reunited, the connection between them glowed from the floor to the sealing. The bond, the connection, the love that these brothers shared was beyond belief. And now that Donnie had spoken, just one little word to them, there bond was strong then ever before.

* * *

**I know I know, this chapter is kinda sorta really long...but I hope it's a good one! I know I enjoyed writing it, so I hope it's enjoyable and not to sad/sappy for anyone. Oh! And if anyone was wondering, 'trying not to love you' is a real song and if you wanted to hear it you can search it up on youtube. ****And thanks to anyone who is reading and reviewing my story! It means a lot to me. So I bid you adieu until next chapter! :)**


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

" No, that's not it either!" Donnie crumpled up another piece of paper and threw it on the ground. Frustrated that he couldn't get it right.

It was Friday night and Donnie and I had been brain storming ideas of what his healing cream could contain.

" Do you remember anything else that was in it besides ammonia?" Donnie asked me for the one hundredth time today.

I shook my head, " No, sorry. That's the only thing that you told me last time you made it."

" And your sure I didn't write it down?" Donnie questioned, narrowing his eyes.

" I don't think so, even if you did. I can't find it." I admitted. It was unusual for Donnie to not write down something. He took note of everything! But I searched his folder cabinet and found nothing!

" Hhhhgr" Donnie let out an annoyed, frustrated sigh and wiped his hands over his face. Trying to think, " I guess I could use butylated hydroxytoluene along with petrolatum. Maybe some sodium pyruvate. But that wouldn't create a cream strong enough to heal gashes into just scratches." Donnie thought out loud.

" You know your cream was more like a...gel!" I realized suddenly what to do. I had forgot that it wasn't really a cream at all, it was a gel. So I rushed over to Donnie's filing cabinet and I searched under G this time instead of C, H, W, M. I searched under C for cream, H for heal, W for wound and M for medicine, but I didn't find them there.

" I found it!" I squealed and shook the paper up in the air. Then I rushed back over to Donnie and he began to mumble out the list of words I didn't quite understand.

" Of course! Polymyxin B! Why didn't I think of that?!" Donnie questioned his intelligences. This made me laugh, Donnie was already supper smart, why was he questioning it?

" So you think you can make it?" I asked hopefully.

" Yeah, I just have to make sure I have all the ingredients...do you mind?" Donnie asked shyly. I knew that he wanted me to help him get to his supply cabinet, after all, he couldn't do it by himself.

" I don't mind." I walked over to Donnie as I helped him up. He limped over to his supplies with his arm around my neck and began searching.

" I don't have a lot of petrolatum, so I can't make a lot, but I can make some." Donnie informed me and he gathered all of his ingredients in one hand.

" Do you need help?" I offered. Worried that Donnie might not be able to carry it all.

" Nah, I can handle it." Donnie struggled to say through the pile of supplies in his arm.

" Are you sure, I can carry something." I pushed my offer harder, making it clear that I wanted to help him.

" No, I'm good." Donnie's stubbornness got the best of him again, wanting to prove the he was in fact useful. We started to limp back to his chair. But this time, Donnie had not put his arm around me for support, he was determined to do this by himself. But we only got about three steps until the stuff dropped from Donnie's arms. He tried to catch them before they fell but by attempting, he dragged both of us to the ground.

I sat up in a flash. I looked at all the containers and equipment that lade across the floor. Luckily none of them were glass, so nothing broke. Finally my eyes rested on Donnie's limp body. The only movement coming from him was the rise and fall of his chest.

" Donnie?" I only barely whispered his name as I leaned over, so I could face him.

Donnie didn't respond.

" Donnie, are you alright?" I asked again, trying to control the worry rising in my voice.

I heard Donnie exhale loudly before answering me, " Can't I just be back to normal?" Donnie wondered out loud.

" You will be." I reassured him, hoping it would be enough to convince him. It wasn't.

" When?" He had asked.

" Soon..." I was a bit hesitate while responding. I honestly didn't know when or even if Donnie was going to be okay. But I wasn't about to let Donnie know my doubts.

" Really? Do you really think that?" It was like Donnie had read my thoughts, " It's hard to believe that I'll ever get better. I can't walk, pain constantly haunts me, and I barely remember anything." Donnie's voice was at it's peek from desperation.

I didn't know what to say. There were no words out there to comfort Donnie, no words that would make this all better.

" I wish this would all stop." Donnie mumbled as he tried to sit up. Only getting the support of one arm, but he managed.

" Me too." I said more to myself then anyone else.

" What?" Donnie looked at me curiously. Eyes wide with wonder.

" Me too." I whispered under my breath. Hope sparked through me, wondering what Donnie was on to.

" Th-those words." Donnie stuttered as he thought about what I said, " Were they important?"

I knew that Donnie meant if they were important in the time of his life that he forgotten.

" Yes." I choked on my word as tears threatened to come streaming down my face, " Why?"

" I-I don't know." For once Donnie didn't know the answer to his own problem, " They just feel, important. What do they mean?"

" You wouldn't understand if I didn't tell you the whole story. If I told you, it would just lead to more questions, and those questions would lead to even more questions. I would have to tell you everything." I told him. My vision began to blur as the tears began to rise. Just talking about the meaning behind 'me too' made me sad. Sad that some of the most memorable words Donnie and I have ever shared, the words with the most meaning behind them, he had forgotten it all.

" Then tell me the whole story." Donnie had a begging edge to his voice as he spoke.

" Not right now." I regretted saying. I wanted to tell Donnie everything, but we needed the pictures to have more effect. Just telling him wouldn't work.

" When? When do I get to know?" Donnie questioned. I detected a hint of fear in his voice. Fear that he would never remember. And I believe that this family all shares that exacted same fear.

" I don't." I whispered, hoping that if I said it quietly, things would be different. Like I would know when he gets to remember, I would know if he even will remember. But like many other human beings, I can't predict the future.

Donnie and I sighed simultaneously, both looking away and breaking our eye connection. Finally, after moments of silence, I began to speak.

" Come on, let's get back to work." I said as I gathered up the supply and set it on Donnie's desk. Then I went back and helped Donnie up then sat him in his chair.

Donnie immediately began to work on the healing gel. I sat up on his desk and watched him work. After a few hours, I glanced down at my watch and realized that it was 10:30pm.

" Shoot." I mumbled to myself and hopped off of Donnie's desk.

" What's wrong?" Donnie asked, not looking up from his work.

" I have to go." I told him. I had just remember that I had to go meet Garret tonight at my parents house. I didn't like the idea, and I was having second thoughts about going.

" You do? Where?" Now Donnie was looking up at me with big curious eyes, and they almost looked scared and genuinely nervous.

" I have to go to my parents house." I told him simply and began to walk away, " Don't stay up to late." I told him while looking back over my shoulder.

" Taylor wait!" Donnie shouted after me. By the sounds of it, he wanted to get up and catch up to me, but he couldn't.

" Yeah?" I turned around, fearing what Donnie had to say. A memory of Donnie flashed through my head. This moment reminded me of the time Donnie had asked me on a date. The way he stuttered and wouldn't make eye contact with me, it was cute. I couldn't help but smile.

" A while back, you said that I had loved April more then you." I didn't like where Donnie was going, my smile faded.

" Yeah." I confirmed Donnie sentence.

" Well, a day ago or so ago, you and I had...kissed." Donnie looked at me, waiting for me to once again confirm his statement.

" Yeah." I said hesitantly, waiting to see where Donnie was going.

" Well, when we kissed," Donnie had broken our eye connection, " I-uh-I, never felt so good in my life." Donnie admitted.

I couldn't think of anything to say. What was I suppose to say? So I just stood there in silence, waiting for something to happen.

" And," Donnie continued, " I remember what I felt towards April, I remember what it felt like. But after we kissed, those feelings that I had for April, is nothing compared to the things I felt that night I kissed you." Donnie choked on his words, but we regained our eye connection.

I still stood there in silence. I had no idea what to even think. What do I do? Say I love him? Walk away? Wait for Donnie to do something?

" I don't know how long I waited last time, and something tells me that I waited too long. So I'm just gonna say it," Donnie took a deep breath in then continued to speak, " But, I- I think I, love you."

I felt Donnie's words jump out of his throat and wrap around mine. Donnie's words were choking me, and they shocked me when he said it. Donnie loves me again. He fell in love with me, two times. I was standing there, searching for breath, trying to process what Donnie just said. I knew that this time, I couldn't remain silent.

" Donnie." His name was the only word I could think of that moment. So I walked over to his chair and I pulled him into a hug and I whispered in his ear, " I love you too." The words poured out of my mouth, " I always loved you and I'll never stop. But-"

" But what?" Donnie cut me off. His words were sad. I could tell that he had built up the courage to tell me, but now I would have to do something I never thought I would. I had to reject Donnie.

" But, what would we do? What do we do now?" I asked him the questions boggling in my mind.

" I-I don't know. Do we just-" Donnie began but then stopped as I interrupted him.

" Start over?" I finished his sentence for him, just like I use to do, " Sorry Donnie. But I can't just start over. We've come too far to start over." My words stung in my throat and were ripping me apart piece by piece. I was already starting to regret them. For this, I stopped hugging him but our foreheads were pressed closely together, my mouth just inches away from his.

" So, if I never get my memory back. We just have to ignore these feelings forever?" Donnie asked, confused and sad. When he spoke, I dropped my gaze. Unable to look into his sad pleading eyes.

" No." I shook my head and fought the lump rising in my throat, " If it comes to that, I would start over. For you. But that would be our last option. Okay?" I looked up at him again. His eyes were glossy with tears, just like mine were.

" Okay. But will...will you wait for me?" Donnie whispered.

" What?" I asked him as I felt the hot tears run down my cheeks.

" I don't know when I'll get my memory back, it might be a while. But, from what I know, I loved you very much and you loved me. So, will you wait for me? Before you find another guy...don't give up on me, don't let me go..." Donnie voice's faded as he broke our eye connection and looked down and the ground.

" Donnie, I don't care if it takes 20 years, I will always wait for you. There's no one else I want, I will never find another guy. I would wait forever if I had to. I will do anything to get you back. I won't give up on you, I won't let you go." I told as I lifted his head up and forced him to look at me. We pressed closer together, " I promise."

" Thank you." His voice was no higher then a whisper. We were so close together now that I could feel Donnie's tears fall down his face.

I slightly pulled away and I kissed his cheek before I fully pulled away from him and began once again to walk away.

" Taylor? One more thing." Donnie's voice called once again.

I turned around to face him, removing my hand from the door handle. And I stood there, waiting for him to speak again.

" Did you lie to me when you told me I loved April more then you?"

I sighed, wondering what to say, " Yes...No...maybe?" I waited to see if Donnie excepted my answer. He didn't.

" So, which is it? Did I love you of April more?" Donnie asked again.

" That's a question that you have to find out the answer on your own." I told him and walked out the door.

* * *

**Ummmm...I don't really know what to say here. Just that I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, sorry if it's kinda short. Oh! I recently have a few new reviewers and I just want to thank you soooooooooooooo much! Anyway, bye I guess. Until next chapter! :)**


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It's been three days since Donnie had been working on his healing cream. And officially three months since Donnie lost his memory, so today was March 21first. And, on a unrelated note, I had decided to not go and meet Garret at my parents house. At first I was scared that if I didn't go, Garret might be mad, or maybe his thing he wanted to talk about was really important, but when I thought again I realized that I didn't really care. I could take on Garret in a fight if ever he decided to 'hunt me down'.

I was in Donnie's lab, looking for the table cloth he had used on our first date. Donnie himself was back in master Splinter's bed. Sensei only aloud Donnie to work on his healing cream a hour or two at a time. Because Donnie was still injured, he couldn't sit up for very long. It put to much pressure on his cracked shell and broken leg. And once pushed himself to the limit working on his healing gel and ended up shifting in his seat and falling on the floor. No one heard him calling for help so he laid there for three hours until Raph had finally got suspicious and checked on him. We had all assumed he was just working, after all, Donnie use to spend hours in his lab.

" Find anything?" Karai asked.

I turned around and saw Karai leaning against Donnie's desk. I had jumped by the sound of her voice, she had sneaked up on me while I was searching.

" Wow, you scared me." I told her before turning back to look again. I was searching through Donnie's big cabinet full of test tubes and what not. It was divided into two parts. The top half of the cabinet was shelf after shelf filled with science equipment then the bottom half was drawers filled with Donnie's more personal matters. I figured that would be a good place to start.

" I noticed by the way you jumped. Didn't you hear me com'in?" Karai wondered. A devilish tone was growing in her voice.

" No." I spat, but in a odd joking way.

" Some kunoichi you are." Karai joked. This was her kind of humour, basically making fun of someone, much like Raph's humour.

" Ha. Ha. Funny." I said flatly, " And no I didn't find it yet."

" Well hurry up. I can't believe I agreed to help you do this." Karai scolded herself. She was still adjusting to the 'good guy' life. Being nice to each other. Karai had agreed to help me set up the scene for my first date. Lily was going to help me as well, but she had fallen sick and was in the living room with Raph taking care of her.

" Yeah, yeah." I waved her off and kept looking. I looked through draw after draw and while looking I found some CD's. And one was labelled ''Taylor's favourite slow songs''. I smile at the memory of the music he played during our date and I put the CD in the bag with the rest of the date stuff. Then I kept looking and finally found the table cloth.

" Found it!" I announced and shoved the table cloth in the bag as I got up and walked towards Karai.

" Good, now let's go." Karai pointed her head towards the door while picking up the folded up table and the stereo. I took the lead and lead Karai out the door and into the living room.

" Bye guys." I waved to Leo, who was on the floor watching space hero's, Mikey, who was playing with a piece of string waiting for space hero's to be over, and Raph, who was taking care of a sick Lily. John was nowhere to be seen, he had to work today.

" Bye." Leo mumble distractedly, to focused on space hero's to care.

I shook my head and smiled. Leo's space hero addiction was cute, but annoying to his brothers.

" Why are you so slow!?" Karai's voice rang from the other side of the room, she was already standing in the doorway.

" Sorry." I apologized as I ran up to her.

We began to walk, me a little bit ahead. I was the only person who knew where Donnie took me, well, the only person here at the moment anyway. We walked in silence for a minute or two, alone with our thoughts. But that ended when Karai struck up a conversation.

" So Donnie eh?" Karai said casually. But I was a bit confused by what she meant.

" What about him?" I asked.

" I dunno." Karai shrugged, " I just don't know what you see in him."

I cocked an eyebrow at Karai. Was she really talking about this? Karai never struck me as an 'let's talk about relationships' kind of girl. That's when I wondered what she was up too.

" Well, he's smart, funny, kind...cute." I spoke almost shyly. Like I said, Karai wasn't a girl to talk about relationship, so I didn't know if this was going to be awkward or not.

" Yeah I guess. If you like that sort of stuff." commented Karai.

" Okay, what about you." I was starting to get intrigued, " Do you still like Leo or what?"

" Eh." Karai shrugged once more, " I did at first, but now that we're technically brother and sister, I've gotten over him."

I felt a pain of sympathy in my heart for Leo. He wanted Karai, more then ever, but she was over him. But then I got a sudden idea.

" What about John?" I wondered. I got this feeling that John had a little crush on Karai. During a movie night, he would sit close to her. When John attempted to talk to her, he would stutter. Now John is a naturally nervous person, also a bit of a germ freak, but I never heard him stutter that much around someone. Especially around someone her knew for a while now.

" Who?" Karai asked. How could she not know who John is?

" John? Tall guy, brown hair? Green eyes?" I started to speak words to describe John, hoping to spark something up in Karai's memory.

" Oh yeah." Karai spoke like she got this sudden realization, " What about him?"

" Do you like him?"

" Like, like him like him?" Karai wondered, disbelief sparkled through her light brown eyes.

" Yeah." I told her. "What else could I have meant?"

" Isn't he gay?" Karai asked, surprised.

" I-I don't think so." I took a moment to think. I know sometimes John seemed gay, but I didn't think he was, " I have a feeling he likes you." I nudged Karai playfully as I spoke.

" Really?" Karai cocked an eyebrow at me. Why was it so hard to believe John likes her?

" Yes really."

" Yeah okay. I guess he;s kinda cute." Karai picked up her pace and walked in front of me. Obviously getting uncomfortable talking about this now that the spotlight turned on her. I opened my mouth to say something, possibly tease her or something like that, " If you dare say another word about this, I will take my katana and shove it down your throat." Karai threatened before I could even speak. I closed my mouth, shocked that even from behind, she knew what I was doing.

" I wasn't gonna say anything." I shook my head innocently and caught up with Karai.

We continued to walk and talk. Casually bringing but small conversation starters until we arrived at our destination.

" We're here." I knelt down and started to unpack the bag. I took out the candles, the table cloth, the lighter but left the CD in the bag. Karai didn't know that I took it.

Karai put down the table and the stereo and asked, " So where do we start." She put her hands on her hips and stared around at the stuff layed across the floor.

" Unfold the table and set it about five feet away from where your standing, I'll start placing the candles." I instructed and we got to work.

First I started with the big fat white candles. I placed them each about a foot apart and made sure to stand up the wicks. I did this on both sides of the sewer tunnel, crawling on my knees. When I was done, I got up and saw that Karai was done setting the table, she even put the table cloth on it. So I got the three little thin candles and placed them on the table, the tall one in the middle and the two little ones on the side. Then Karai and I each took a set of the LED lights and hung them up on the sewer walls. The nails were still there from last time the lights were hung up.

Once they were down, Karai plugged in the lights and I lite the candles then stood back to enjoy the scene. Karai joined me once she finished placing the stereo. I took a deep breath in, admiring the seen. It look exactly like it did the first time. But the feeling wasn't the same. This time, it wasn't for pleasure, and Donnie wasn't the one who put it all together. No, this time it was to help Donnie.

" Well I'm gonna head off." Karai interrupted my thoughts.

" Umm, why?" I asked.

" Hey I did my part like I said I would." Karai threw her hands up beside her defensively, " I'm gonna leave before I have to clean up." Karai explained her plan then began to walk away. I shook my head in amusement. Karai always had a way to escape when it came to cleaning.

When she was completely out of sight I got the bag and slipped the CD in the stereo. I put on 'trying not to love you' and began to mimic the dance steps Donnie and I did to this song. I didn't know I would remember it until now. I knew step by step, it all came back to me. As I danced I could feel the gentle heat of the candle flames mixed with the light breeze of the sewer. The moment was almost as magical as last time, it was just missing Donnie.

When the song ended, I stopped dancing with myself and ejected the CD and put it back into the bag. Then I leaned up against the wall and wiped my fingers through the loss hair that came undone out of my ponytail. Right then and there I just wanted to break down and cry. I felt cold and alone, I wanted Donnie to hold me tight, tighter then he ever did before. I needed him now, more then ever. I felt like this was the moment I wanted Donnie the most.

I began to slid down the wall but then stopped myself as I heard a ding. My phone had turned on and I dug it out of my pocket. I just remembered that I had to take the picture. I went on my camera and had my finger on the button, but I didn't press it. Like an electric shock, I got this sudden idea, a feeling. I knew now that even if I took the picture, it wouldn't work. It wouldn't have the same effect it would if Donnie seen this in person. I slowly slid my finger off the button, but I did press a button, the off one.

I slid my phone back into my back pocket of my jeans and I blew out the candles while unplugging the light. Then I began to walk away. My mind was burning with questions. But as I walked away, one thought in my head overpowered the others...

_I didn't take the picture._

* * *

**So I've been sick for a few days and had some extra time to work on my story. I'm even almost done chapter 19, so it'll be up soon. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and stick around for the next! :)**


	20. Chapter 19

_Chapter 19_

_Why didn't I take the picture? Should I have? Was I too scared? Am I scared? Scared of what? Donnie getting his memory back? Why would that make me scared? What is there to be scared of? Do I want him to get his memory back? Of course I do! I want my Donnie back!...Do I?_

I paced back an forth in the living. It was late at night and everyone was asleep, at least I think they are. I haven't actually seen them in there beds sleeping, I just kinda assumed. Two days had gone by since Karai and I had recreated my first date. But she didn't know that I never took it down. Nobody asked questioned when I returned, they were all too distracted to care that I didn't come back with the stuff.

I stopped pacing for a moment as I heard a faint scream and a crunching noise. It came from Splinter's room. I ran as fast as my feet would carry me and flew myself into Splinter's room. Donnie was sound asleep in his bed, just moaning to himself and tossing and turning. I smiled and walked up to him. I forgotten how cute Donnie was when he slept. He wasn't a very still sleeper. But what was that crunching noise?

I took another step forwards and something crunched beneath my foot. I bent down and picked up a piece of paper. Then I realized that there was a bunch of paper all over the bed. I scrambled to pick up all the pieces and I gathered them all in my hands. I glanced down at the pieces of paper in my hands and noticed that they had writing on them. I let all of them drop but one. I read the paper over and over again, but it only had three words written on them.

_Atoms, electrons, protons._

It had those three words written on that paper over and over again. Just those three words. A thought clicked in my head and I bent down, ravishing through the other papers and reading what they said. Each of them had only three to six words on them written over and over again.

_Negative charge? Positive charge?_

_I'm wright. You sure? Yes._

_Not, consider, my theory?_

My eyes stared wildly at the pieces of paper in my hands. But the one that caught my attention the most was the single piece of paper with only one word.

_Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight, Fig**ht_**_

It look like Donnie had increased the pressure of his writing and then his pencil broke. I couldn't believe my eyes on what I was reading. Donnie had written down our fight over and over again. I had explained our fight to him a few days ago, I didn't get through the whole thing, Donnie got one of his massive headaches during my explanation, so I stopped. But Donnie had written down every word of it.

The thought that had clicked into my head had been correct. As soon as I read the word atoms, electrons and proton, I instantly thought of our fight. I looked down at the papers some more. Admiring that Donnie was trying to get his memory back on his own. But one question was roaming around in my mind, how come the pencil broke?

I knew it wasn't just one of those accidental breaking, this one looked like Donnie was writing really forcefully and then broke. But why did he increase his pressure?

I decided to ignore the questions in my mind and gather up all the paper in a neat little pile. I placed them on Donnie's side table, I was about to walk away but something stopped me.

Donnie screamed in his sleep. I leaned over him, making sure he was okay, but he screamed again and with a quick jolt, Donnie's eyes were open wide. He was breathing heavily as he was still processing that he was awake. His gaze was looking frantically around the room until it stopped on me. Withing a millisecond, Donnie had pulled me into a hug for comfort.

" Taylor?" Donnie sounded out of breath and panicked.

" Donnie what's wrong?" I asked in a hurry, wondering what he dreamt about.

" Taylor," Donnie repeated my name, but more softly and calmly now, " I-I-I'm scared."

" Scared of what?" I questioned compassionately

" My dream."

" What happened?"

" I-I've been having these dreams, the same dream every night. I dr-dreamed about me, getting hurt, tortured. And when I wake up, I can sometimes feel it. I've been trying to keep it to myself, but I just couldn't anymore." Donnie explained, his voice was muffled and I only barely understood what he said since his face was buried in my shoulder.

" Do you know who hurt you?" I asked, purposely using the word 'who' to see if Donnie would catch on.

" No." I felt Donnie shake his head as he whispered his answer, " In my dream, it's just a big black, empty space." Donnie began to whimper. He wasn't physically crying, there were no tears, he was holding himself back.

" Shh, it's okay Donnie." I stroked the back of Donnie's head to comfort him, but he began to shake uncontrollably.

" Taylor, I'm cold." Donnie whispered.

I layed Donnie back down in his bed and layed down next to him for warmth. I could tell he was tired by the tone of voice he used. Donnie needed his sleep. But, he wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet. He turned on his side, his good side, and faced me.

" Go to sleep Donnie." I whispered and held his hand, rubbing my fingers along his.

" But what happens if the thing that hurt me comes for me in my sleep?" Donnie asked, his voice shaking.

" Just close yours eyes and sleep. I swear I will let nothing hurt you, not now, not ever again. Everything will be alright. Okay?" I comforted him the best I could.

" Okay." Donnie whispered back with full trust in me and rolled on his back. He turned his head away from me and his breaths slowed down as he fell into a deep sleep.

I didn't get up right away. I just continued to stare at Donnie sleeping. Normally at a moment like this, he would be holding me tight. We would be snuggling close together and the urge to snuggle up right beside him had increase now that I knew Donnie had fallen in love with me again, so I just wanted to cuddle him. But that didn't happen and for all I know, it will never happen again. All that was keeping me from going close to him and snuggle with him was empty bed sheets. Right now, that was the only thing between us.

I gently ran my hand along Donnie's face, tracing the outlining of his head. I let out a defeat sigh and got up and left.

I entered the living room and turned, prepared to go down the hall and to bed, but something caught my eye. Donnie's lab door was left open. Donnie never ever leaves his lab door open, afraid that Mikey might sneak in and start touching his chemicals and...well...we can all imagine what might happen.

So I walked over to Donnie's lab but before I closed the door I noticed a little jar sitting on his desk. Curiosity won over me and I slowly crept over there. On top of the little clear clear jar was a note. It had my name on it, I picked it up and read it.

_Taylor,_

_In this jar is the healing gel, I over stayed my visit in my lab today and Splinter 'banned' me from it for two days, so I would like you to keep an eye on my gel for me, let it sit for 24-48 hours and then it should be done, now according to my healing gel instructions that I wrote down, the gel should be a clear almost pale blue colour, if it's not in two days, come and get me,_

_Thanks,_

_-Donnie_

I put down the note and looked in the jar. In it was a clear liquid, a lot like water. Now I knew why is had to sit for a while. Last time we used it, I seen it when it was done and the texture reminded me a lot like jello.

I walked out the lab door and closed it behind me. _Almost done._ I thought to myself and leaned against the door. _Once Donnie's wounds are healed, we can get on with the pictures and then Donnie will get his memory back and then...then...I haven't thought that far ahead yet. What would happen after Donnie gets his memory back, assuming the pictures work?_

I walked towards my room and layed down in my bed. What will happen after? Was one of the many questions that were surfing my mind. And with all those questions in my head, I was surprised that I even got to sleep.

* * *

I stared cautiously at the gel. _Was it thick enough? Is it ready? Should I let it sit for longer?_

It's been 48 hours since Donnie had made the gel and I was looking and it very closely. I even picked it up and shook it for a bit. It look like a gel, and it jiggled like jello. But was it ready? I took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly. I decided to stuff it and decided that it was ready. Donnie waited three months, and a few day, for this, and that's way to long.

I picked up the jar and headed out. I walked into the living room and seen a sick Lily on the couch with Raph close to her, Leo and Mikey watching a how to cook show, and John talking with Karai.

" Guys." I spoke up as they turned to face me. Hope glazed the room, they too had all been waiting for the gel to be done, " It's ready."

They all jumped out of their seats and came rushing over to where I was standing, well, everyone except for Lily, but we mad a hole in our circle so she could see too.

" Are you sure it's done?" Leo asked, double checking my thoughts.

" Yeah." I said as I breathed out.

" Do you think it'll work?" Mikey wondered.

" I hope so." I told them.

" Should we go put it on him?" Raph asked.

" I don't see why not." I shrugged. I knew that I would have to be the one who would do it, I knew by the way no one volunteered, " I'll uh, I'll see you guys in a little bit." I said and walked to Splinter's room.

" Donnie?" I slid open the doors and walked in. I seen Donnie laying in bed staring up at the ceiling, that was until I called out his name and his gaze shifted to me.

" Hi Taylor."He greeted me and grunted as he sat up, " Is that it?" He asked, his eyes resting on the little clear jar in my hand.

" Yup." I nodded my head along with my answer.

" Is it ready?"

" I believe so... Do you want to try it out?" I decided to asked just in case Donnie was having second thoughts.

Donnie bit his lip and nodded his head. I untwisted the lid and set it aside.

" Warning, this will sting a little." I warned him. A memory flashed through my head. A memory of when Donnie forgot to warn Mikey about the stinging and he had whacked Donnie across the face. It wasn't a happy moment at the time, but everyone could laugh about it now.

" Yeah, I kinda figured that." Donnie laughed.

" Cause of the ammonia?" I didn't really ask the question. Both Donnie and I knew that ammonia had the power to sting a little.

" Yeah." Donnie answered my question anyway. But he did it with a smile, he even showed a bit of his missing tooth.

" So, where should we start?" I asked, glancing at all of his cuts and gashes. I put a little on the gel on my finger, ready to rub in on any one of his wounds.

" Don't know." Donnie said, staling. Fear pierced his eyes and haunted his voice. Donnie was scared, terrified. I don't blame him though, I would be too.

" How about we start with a little one?" I suggested. Donnie nodded and I chose a cut on his arm. I gently and carefully rubbed the gel on his cut. Donnie flinched at the stinging, I felt him tense up, but then he relaxed. The gel quickly form a crusty layer, like it did the first time.

" Well that's a good sign." I announced to no one in particular, just a statement out loud.

" So when do we wash it off?" Donnie asked. Was that eagerness to his voice?

" In the next few minuted for the little scratches..." I began. I already knew why Donnie had asked that question. He was wondering when I put it on his bad arm if he could wash if off right away, "...but for your arm, I'd say at least a few hours. Maybe over night."

" Oh." Donnie glanced down at the ground, disappointed and worried.

" But don't worry." I continued as I rubbed more gel on more of his cuts, " The stinging won't last long." I tried to lighten up the mood.

" Does this gel heal broken bones too?" Donnie asked, he obviously didn't remember.

" No it doesn't." I laughed while saying my response. I thought of the time Mikey had asked that very question. He wanted to know if it would heal his dislocated ankle...it didn't.

" There," I wiped my hands on my jeans, " I think I covered every last scratch on you. Time to wash it off." I claimed and picked up the spray bottle full of water and a wash cloth I had brought.

I sprayed the water on each of Donnie's cuts, scratches, and gashes and wiped the crust off.

" Wow." My voice was hush as I spoke and layed back in astonishment.

" What?" I only realized now that Donnie was closing his eyes, waiting. But now he had one open as he asked me.

" Look!" I told him and pointed to his cuts.

Donnie's eyes grew wide with shock. All of his gashes were now no more the simply cuts. Sure they were worst then just any plain old cuts and bruises, but for Donnie? This must feel like paradise, he finally could let out a sign of relief.

A moment or two past when neither of us said a word. We just sat there staring at Donnie's now known scratches. But then, I came back to reality and started up a conversation.

" I guess now it's time the big ones." I pointed out the obvious. What I meant by the 'big ones' was the ones that had to be wrapped up. Like his head, arm, and a few on his leg. And that's what I started with. His leg. Once again Donnie flinched at the stinging but didn't cry out, he was being very strong, brave.

I leaned over Donnie to unwrap his head. We decided that it wasn't really safe to put on healing gel on his head, but I still wanted to check on it. As I was unwrapping his bandage, I noticed his scar going across his eye. It looked so fresh, yet, faded at the same time. I wondered if it hurt.

" Hey Donnie." I stopped leaning over him as I finished unwrapping his head, " Does this hurt?" I wondered and I ran my finger over his scar.

" No, why?" Donnie sounded confused and puzzled. I just realized now that Donnie didn't know that he had a scar going across his eye. He didn't remember the fight with Shredder, he didn't remember the knife thrown at his head, he didn't know about the scar that would be there for the rest of his life. And I had a hunch that he will have plenty more scars.

" Um, no reason." I decided not to tell him, he'll figure it out soon enough.

" Uh, okay." Donnie gave me a strange look and shrugged. Apart from that, Donnie's head looked pretty good and it was healing nicely. So that was one less thing we had to worry about.

We paused, for a brief moment the only thing that could be heard was the sound of us breathing. But, the moment that all of us feared was going to happen. Donnie was in for a great heap of pain...again.

" You ready?" I asked, knowing that he knew that I meant his 'bad' arm.

" I guess so." Fear struck Donnie's voice.

I unwrapped Donnie's arm as I felt him tense up, trying not to flinch. As his arm revealed, it looked the same as it ever did. Red. At least there was no more dead skin on his arm, so we didn't have to go through that again.

I let the old bandage drop on the floor and took out a glove from the medical box to cover my hand. I dipped my finger in the healing gel. There wasn't a lot left, but there was enough...hopefully.

I took a moment to breath and for Donnie to prepare. I slowly forward my hand closer to Donnie's arm. Then I rubbed a little gel on. With a short quick scream, Donnie pulled his arm away, shocked by how much it hurt.

I looked down at the ground, feeling sorry for Donnie. No one deserves to go through this kind of pain, but Donnie had too. It wasn't fair, but then again...life isn't fair. So to comfort Donnie I looked up towards him and spoke.

" Donnie, I know this hurts and will hurt a lot. But. If you ever want to get better, you have to let me put some healing gel on."

Donnie looked my way, his eyes glossy with water and he was holding his shoulder. He would hold his arm but, it would hurt even more if it was held, so Donnie settled for his shoulder.

Donnie nodded and put his arm back in position. With out a word, I began to reapply the gel. I rubbed on more gel and this time Donnie held still. But it was hard for him, he was screaming the whole way through. The stinging seemed unbearable.

All of a sudden, Leo, Raph, and Mikey came rushing in, Lily, John and Karai stayed behind. But, Donnie's three brothers were at his side in an instant. Hearing Donnie scream must of worry them sick and that's why they came rushing in.

Then seen me kneeling down and rubbing the gel on, they knew what I was doing so they weren't that panic. And knowing that this was something we had to do, They just sat back and tried to comfort Donnie.

" We're here for you buddy." Raph spoke and he knelt down, taking Donnie's hand in his, interlocking their three fingered hands, Donnie gave Raph and his brothers a thankful glance. Normally, Donnie would have been scared or would have taken his hand away. But after him and his brothers 'made up', he wasn't shy anymore. And the very small and faint smile on Donnie's face told us that he was glad that his brothers were here.

" Squeeze my hand when it hurts." Raph told Donnie with kindness and worry in his tone. Donnie nodded in response then turned back towards me and told me to continued.

I continued to rub gel on his bare, red, flesh. The clear gel was mixing with the red colour of the skin thus turning it red. Donnie screamed again then squeezed Raph's hand, we all heard a crunch.

" Holy fffmmmhhh!" Raph shouted then calmed his voice, " Donnie's a lot stronger then he looks."

That remark made Donnie let out a little chuckle. It was weak, but had a lot of meaning behind it. But that moment passed quickly as I continued to apply the cream.

I touched Donnie's soft skin while rubbing on more gel. Donnie let out another scream as he tried not to cry. But after a few more minutes, soft quiet tears began to pour out of Donnie's eyes. He cried quietly for a moment or two but then his sobs increased. Donnie's began panting and sobbing at the same time as he squeezed the life out of Raph's hand.

Seeing Donnie in this much pain and discomfort made my vision blur and my eyes to fog. I blinked and let loose a few tears. This wasn't really the time to get emotional. But it was extremely hard to hold myself back knowing that I was the one hurting Donnie. I knew that it was for the better and it would all be over soon, but it felt like this was going on for a life time.

" Make it stop!" Donnie screamed as I covered up the last bit of his arm with gel. The pain was excruciating and Donnie could no longer handle it. I wanted to stop, I really did, but I had to finish this last bit of it.

A river of tears were now staining my cheeks. I hated doing this to Donnie, I would hate doing this to anyone. And I was thankful that I was all finished.

" There, we're done." I sighed and wiped my face with my arm. I had calmed myself before I actually started to sob, and it seemed that Donnie had calmed down too, a little.

All of the four turtles let out a sigh of relief. They were all happy that it was finally over and Donnie's healing can finally begin and with in a week, would probably end. We were finally gonna get started.

At the end of it all, after all the screaming and torture, Donnie was left sweaty, breathing heavily, and exhausted. He looked more tired then what we had started with.

And within a few seconds, Donnie's eyes had fluttered closed. He was so tired that he fell a sleep almost instantly. I smile and just sat there for a moment, looking at the steady breath of Donatello. He was okay now, everything was going to be alright.

What seemed only like a few seconds of watching Donnie, it was all over. As soon as I started, I had finished. The turtles and myself got up and walked back into the living room. Passing by Splinter in the dojo. The fur on his cheeks seem to be wet. Sensei must have been crying, hearing Donnie scream from just one room over. Why hadn't he come in to comfort his son?

We entered the living room and as soon as we did, Lily sat up with a jolt and John and Karai tore apart from their little conversation.

" So how'd it go?" Lily's voice was rasped and horsed. She had caught a cold that her mother had gotten. I don't even know how she managed to sneak out of her house while she was sick. Her parents would never let her.

" We got it done." Leo replied sternly, obviously shaken up after seeing his brother screaming, " And that's all that matters."

A pang of sympathy had flashed across Karai's gaze. An emotion I didn't know Karai could have and for a moment I thought maybe she still had some feelings for Leo. But about four days, Karai had told me she was over Leo, but I asked myself, is she really?

" Leo?" Karai's voice was almost a whisper as she got up and set her hand on Leo's shoulder, " Are you alright?"

" Not now Karai." Leo's voice was low but loud enough for me and everyone else to hear. Leo pushed Karai's hand off of him and walked off to his room. Anyone standing there could have heard Leo's heart pounding and echoing through the room. He still had feelings for Karai, but it would never work out.

" Well I'm gonna," Lily began but then went off on one of her coughing fits, " head off."

" Stay here!" Raph blurted out, " Your sick." Worry gleamed and took over his eyes. He really did care about Lily, but he was to scared and shy to do anything about it.

" I-" Lily paused to clear her crackling voice, " can't. My parents don't even know I'm out. They think I'm in my room resting."

" Then let me walk you home." Raph pleaded, " Please."

" Okay." Lily agreed and her and Raph walked off and out of sight.

" Well I'm gonna head home too." John announced about five minutes after Lily and Raph left, " Bye guys, Bye. Karai."

Karai waved her hand in goodbye as John left our sewer lair.

" Well, I'mma gonna go steal Raph's bed before he gets back." Karai informed me and got up off the couch. She hopped up on the second 'layer' of the living room flooring and began to walk away but the sound of my voice stopped her.

" Hey Karai!" I shouted, " Do you just wanna take my bed tonight?" I offered. With the extra person in the lair, we haven't got enough rooms to spare. So Splinter sleeps in the dojo, Donnie sleeps in Splinter's room so Splinter can always have a close eye on him, Mikey sleeps in his room and I sleep in mine. But Leo,Raph and Karai had been switching around rooms and taking turns on who gets the couch. So tonight, to be fair, I thought I would take a turn on the couch.

" Nah!" Karai waved her hand at me in dismay, " I don't get a reaction out of Raph if I take your bed. This way is more fun." An evil smirked was starting to spread across Karai's face. She and Raph have an interesting relationship...they...tease each other I guess you could say, a lot.

I turned my attention to Mikey once Karai had left the room. He hadn't said a word all night and that was very unusual for Mikey. He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, head down. I opened my mouth to start up a conversation, probably something funny or happy, but my expression changed when I heard sniffling coming from Mikey's direction.

" Mikey? You okay?" I asked him, my voice hushed and gentle.

" Yeah." Mikey sniffed, " I'm fine."

I narrowed my eyes, not believing Mikey for a second I made my way over to him and sat down beside him.

" C'mon Mikey, you can tell me. What's wrong?" I asked again, hoping to get some answer from the sad orange masked turtle.

All of a sudden, Mikey had leaped into my arms and I was now hugging him as he cried into my shoulder. I stroked the back of his head in comfort then whispered to him, " It's okay, you can tell me."

A moment passed when the sound of Mikey's breathing had drowned out any other sound in the room. It was fast at first, but it slowed as Mikey calmed himself down to speak..

" I didn't like seeing Donnie screaming."

Pain and guilt shot through my heart. Normally, Donnie is very good at hiding his emotions, so it must of shocked Mikey to see Donnie let it all out.

" It's alright Mikey. It can only get better from here." I told him as he pulled away from my hug. With my hands on his shoulders, I looked deep into Mikey's baby blue, sparkling eyes. They were filled with hope and wonder.

" Really?" Mikey's voice cracked and his tone came out as a loud whisper.

" Yeah." I nodded and laughed at my response. I had only just realized myself that it's true. Things can only get better from here. That's if the healing gel worked.

There was a moment of hesitation. Through Mikey's eyes, I could see that he still wasn't 100% convinced.

" Promise?" Mikey asked.

" Promise." I told him even though I didn't really know what I was promising. In reality, things could actually get worse...I think...maybe not. I didn't really know at all. My promise was more like a hope or a leap of faith. And right now, I never wished so hard that what I was promising was true.

" Okay." Mikey mumbled through a yawn.

" Come on, let's go to bed." I helped Mikey up and he walked me to my room. We said goodnight and I went straight to bed, but my mind, of course, wasn't quiet.

_Please, please, please let the healing gel work!_ I thought,_ It has to work! But what if it doesn't? Would Donnie never heal? What if Donnie never heals? What would happen to his arm? What if we actually have to_ _amputate it? Who would do it? What if I had to do it? Would I? No...maybe...for Donnie. But would I be able to stand it? Surely Splinter would do it. What if he doesn't and I'm the only one that could-would? What if we're too late? What if the arms already infected and we do have to amputate it? What then?_

A swarm of question were stirring in my head. But the two words kept coming back. Two words that forms possibly the worst questions in the world. I kept thinking, what if.

* * *

**Did I make anyone cry?...or gross anyone out? Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thanks! :)**


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Loading...Loading...Loading..._

I was finally uploading the pictures from my T-phone to my laptop, that Donnie had built me awhile back ago. But, the pictures were taking forever to load.

I sat there patiently, taping my finger against my lap desk. I waited anxiously for the pictures to show up._ What if they didn't, what if none of the pictures work? No! Stop thinking 'what if!'_

I hit myself over the head to stop myself from thinking about 'what if's.'

" Hey Taylor! What's this?" Karai's voice rang from inside Donnie's lab. She was in there looking for sodium and potassium. She was planing to put water, sodium and potassium in a balloon, then shake it, then drop it on Raph. When sodium and potassium is mixed with water, it forms a thin gas and bubbles. Kinda like baking soda and vinegar.

" What's what?" I shouted back, my eyes glued to my computer screen.

" The big machine." Karai came out of Donnie's lab with a bunch of supplies in her arms.

The thought instantly kicked in and I knew exactly what Karai was talking about.

" It's a machine Donnie and I were working on." I explained. I tried my best not to sound as sad as I was inside. That machine was the thing that started the fight, our fight, in the first place. I swallowed back a hard lump.

"...Oh...okay." Karai replied awkwardly. Not knowing what else to say, she left towards the kitchen for her little lab experiment.

I turned my full attention back to my screen. I sat there for another 15 minutes until I heard a thunk. I assumed in was just Karai messing around in the kitchen, so I ignored it.

" Taylor!" A faint voice called my name. It sounded very distant and far away, I couldn't make out who is was.

" Taylor!" The voice called again. This time closer and I thought it sounded like...

" Donnie?" I tore my eyes away from my lab top and looked up. No one was in the room but me. I shrugged it off and looked back at my screen.

" Taylor!" The voice called again and then I knew that this time it was Donnie and he sounded even closer.

I looked up once again. And this time I seen Donnie limping quickly down the stairs that lead to the dojo. My eyes grew wide when I realized no one was helping him.

" Donnie! What are you doing out of bed?" I almost shouted until I remembered that almost everyone was still sleeping.

" Taylor! Come look!" Donnie ignored my question. He sounded to excited to answer.

" Alright, I'm coming." I reassured him and set my laptop and laptop desk a side. I met him half way across the room, just about the couch, " What it is?"

" Look!" Donnie panted, out of breath. He pointed to his arm.

With eyes stretched wide and jaw dropped, I gaze upon Donnie's arm, his bad one. It was now, green again, just a little paler then his normal olive green skin tone. It was almost, not quite, but almost white, which is much much much better then it being red. I couldn't believe that Donnie's arm was healed! He had clearly washed off the healing gel by himself this morning, and it worked! The gel worked!

" Oh my gosh Donnie!" I screamed with delight and grabbed Donnie by the head. I pulled him in and was about to kiss him. This was what I would have done, but I stopped myself just before our lips touched and I pulled him into a hug instead, " T-this is amazing!" I stuttered, trying to cover up the close call.

" Y-yeah." Donnie stuttered as well. He obviously caught on to my close call. I felt my cheeks grow red with embarrassment. I wanted to kiss Donnie, and he loves me too, but it just felt...wrong.

We pulled out of the hug as we continued to praise over Donnie's newly, almost, healed arm.

" And-and look!" Donnie pointed out as he moved his arm back and forth without even flinching. Then he was flicking it, " It doesn't even hurt anymore!"

" Donnie, this is great." I told him as my eyes were tearing up. But for once, they were happy tears. I knew I was crying a lot lately, but this time was different, this time it was okay to cry. I couldn't believe that we were now three of the five steps done of the healing process. The first step was waking up, next was healing the mind, after that it was healing the wounds, and most of Donnie's wounds were healed. The fourth step is getting his memory back and the fifth step...well...I don't actually know what it is. I just feel like even after Donnie's memory is restored, something is going to come after that before Donnie is fully 100% healed. I just didn't know what.

" What's going on?" Mikey's groggy voice came from the halls as he emerged into the living room, rubbing his eyes.

" Mikey, come look at Donnie's arm!" I told him excitedly.

Mikey instantly got brighter and seemed more awake. He ran over to where we were standing and examined Donnie's arm carefully.

" The other arm Mikey." I told him as I realize that he was looking at the wrong, already healed, arm.

" Oh, right." Mikey laughed and studied Donnie's other arm, " Wow." He whispered in astonishment.

" Some people are trying to sleep." Raph came out of his room with Leo by his side. Before Raph and Leo even got close to us, a mischievous laugh came bursting into the living room.

" Mouhahahahahahaha!" Karai came out of the kitchen and threw her balloon at Raph, a direct hit on the head.

A gas burst out of the balloon and covered Raph's body. That was followed by a coughing fit from Raph.

" You little..." Raph yelled and emerged from the gas bubble then began to chase Karai around the living room.

Leo just shook his head in amusement and continued to walk over to us. His eyes widen and Leo seemed frozen in place as he looked at Donnie's arm. His gaze went up and he stared into Donnie's eyes. A huge smile took over Leo's face and he pulled Donnie into a hug. Mikey quickly joined in.

After Raph had finished chasing Karai. We all told him to smarten up and pay attention to what was really important, Donnie's arm. He had the same reaction as we all did, eyes wide, jaw dropped. Even Karai had this reaction.

After the mini praise over the arm. Donnie began to limped back to Splinter's room. We told him to go back and take it easy for a while. Rest up his newly, almost healed arm.

" Do you need any help?" I offered. Surprised to see Donnie walking on his own.

" No, I'm okay." Donnie grunted and kept on limping. I remember just a few days ago, Donnie could barely walk but now he was limping all on his own. He truly was healing. I couldn't fight the smile that took over my face.

" So...Now what?" Mikey piped up, rocking back and forth on his feet. Anxious to get moving and do something.

" Well," I began, " I'm uploading the pictures to my laptop then I'm going to print them."

" Wow, wouldn't it be great if Donnie got his memory back the same day he got better?" Mikey cheerfully expressed.

" I don't think it's that simply Mikey," Leo was about to begin one of his long speeches, " I think it might take a few days, maybe weeks."

" Oh." Mikey looked down at the ground, utter disappointment clouded his voice.

" I don't think so. I think the book said it might come back right away, given a day or two." Raph shared his opinion.

" Let's check the book!" Mikey piped up, once again happy. He raced off to Donnie's lab to get the big book. Leo and Karai had followed while Raph stayed behind and kept me company.

" So...How's it going?" Raph attempted small talk as we sat down on the couch and I started up again with the uploads. But he didn't fool me for a second, Raph isn't the type to 'small talk.'

" Alright Raph, what do you want?" I asked him, cutting to the chase.

" What makes you think I want something?" Raph threw his arms up in the air in defence.

" You tried to small talk with me." I replied simply.

Knowing that I had a point, Raph didn't argue and just admitted that he had something important to say.

" Well, last night when I was walking Lily home..." Raph trailed off. He wasn't acting like himself. He almost sounded dazed off in some type of fairy tale land as he remembered walking Lily home.

" Yeah..." I urged him to continue. Wondering where he was going with this story.

" I walked her up to her front step. And just before she went inside, I-uh-I kinda...kissed her." Raph admitted, a red glow came to his cheeks. Raph seemed embarrassed.

Stretching my eyes to their breaking point, I stared at Raph in disbelief. He finally did it, he finally kissed Lily.

" It took you long enough." Was the only thing I could think of. Originally I wanted to keep that thought to myself, but it just sorta spilled out of my mouth.

" Wait what?" Raph sounded offended.

" I mean, you liked her and she liked you for the longest time. It's about time you...made your move." I put a teasing edge to my voice. Raph didn't like serious, emotional moments. He prefers to just shrug things off or express his anger through violence.

" Ha. Funny." Raph sounded unamused but his eyes said thank you.

A moment of silence passed between us until I started to speak again.

" Wait..." I began as I got this sudden realization, " Isn't Lily sick?"

" Yeah, so?" Raph asked.

" Aren't you afraid of getting sick?" I wondered and pointed out a point that Raph hadn't realized.

" No not really. I'm mean, if I get sick, I'm sick. I'll get better. And if sickness is the price I have to pay, then it's worth it." Raph went a bit deeper then he usually does in conversations. This shocked me but I tried not to react...too much.

I was about to say something but a small dinging noise interrupted me. The pictures were done.

" Awesome." I muttered to myself and scrolled through the pictures. All of them were there, all of them, except for one that was never taken, " Raph, could you go turn on the printer." I asked.

Raph nodded then went to Donnie's lab, were the printer was located, and turned it on. I selected all of the pictures and printed them off.

A few minutes later, Raph emerged from Donnie's lab with pictures in his hands. Relief flooded over me when I seen that he used the proper picture paper. Like the one with one glossy side and one normal side. I had thought of that when the pictures were printing, I just hoped that Raph would think of switching the paper. Thankfully he did.

Raph handed me the pictures and I began to scroll through them. Meanwhile, Leo, Karai, and Mikey came out of Donnie's lab and looked over my shoulder at the pictures.

" Are those it?" Leo asked hopefully.

" Yup." I told him and finished scrolling through the last photo.

" Wait..." Raph said and looked at me suspiciously, " I didn't see the picture of your first date!" Raph raised his accusing voice and was staring me down. I felt myself shrink underneath him on the couch.

" I-uh.." I stuttered, not knowing what to say, scared that someone had notice that I didn't take the picture. By this time, Raph was hovering over me, fist in the air.

" Do you not want Donnie to get better? To remember? Huh? Is that it?" Raph's voice was more worried then mad. He was scared that Donnie wasn't going to remember at all and if he didn't, Raph was searching for a reason why not. And the best one he came up with was me. And knowing that Raph was just worried, I wasn't mad at him, but I still didn't know how to respond.

" I-um-uhh..."

" I," Karai raised her voice, " Was the one in charge of taking the picture. It just must have not taken it properly or something." Karai took the blame for me. I shot her a thankful look, even though I knew I had some explaining to do later.

" Oh." Raph backed away, lowering his fist, " Sorry Taylor." Raph muttered under his breath and got up to walk away. We all watched Raph exit the room then all the eyes were fixed on me.

" What?" I asked.

" Aren't you gonna go show Donnie the pictures?" Mikey asked, giving me a little nudge.

" Uh, right now?" I wondered, " Shouldn't we wait until tomorrow?"

" Why?" Mikey puzzled and narrowed his eyes, confused.

" I don't know. Don't we want to take one victory at a time. You know, today Donnie's arm got better, tomorrow we show him the pictures." I explained.

The all stared at me in disbelief and confusion. Cowering underneath their squinted eyes, I sighed and got up.

" Fine." I told them and they all gave me a satisfied glance as I exited the room and headed towards Splinter's room.

" Hello Sensei." I greeted him as I entered the dojo. He opened one eye and then the other as I broke him from his meditation trance. I'd forgotten that he was meditating, " Did you see Donnie's arm?" I asked him, stalling.

" Of course." He replied, " Who do you think was off the crust?"

" Right, of course." I laughed awkwardly, pretending that I already knew that. After Sensei closed his eyes again, I walked in Splinter's room and found Donnie sitting up in bed, tapping a pencil to his chin and studied a paper in his hands.

" Whach-ya looking at Donnie?" I asked him and walked over to his bed.

" Nothing important." Donnie sighed and crumpled up the piece of paper in his hand and threw it on the floor.

" Hey aren't you suppose to be laying down? We don't want you putting to much stress of your broken shell."

" Yeah," Donnie began guiltily, " But my cracked shell doesn't hurt as much as before. So I can sit up for longer." He explained.

" Well that's good news." I pointed out and tapped the the photos on my lap so that they're all straight.

" What are those?" Donnie gave a hard swallow and stretched his eyes wide.

" These, are the picture your brothers and I took, to help you get your memory back." I explained, not making eye connection with him.

" So, I get to know what happened to me?" Donnie asked hopefully. Leaning forward, hoping to get a glance at the pictures. But I pulled them closer to my chest, not letting Donnie see anything, " Taylor? Is something wrong?" Donnie asked, concerned.

" I-" I hesitated, debating with myself, " I don't." I tried to speak again but the words kept getting caught in my throat. I just kept staring at the ground, until I finally said it, " I don't want to show you the pictures." I blurted out.

" What? Why?" Donnie's voice was full of hurt. I forced myself to look at him. His gaze was digging into my soul and torturing it. I was being cruel and unfair. Donnie was staring at me, his big brown eyes haunting me. They looked as if I took that last bit of hope, the last of the flame, and blew it out.

" Because..." I hesitated but decided that Donnie deserves to know, " Some of your memories, their not the happiest."

" Taylor." Donnie lowered his voice to a whisper, he took his hands and held mine, " I want to know. I've waited three months, three whole months for this. I don't remember anything that has to do with you. I want you Taylor" Donnie's voice shook as he spoke, " I know that you and I were a couple before I forgot everything, and I want to be with you again. I need to know, I have to remember."

" Okay." I whispered back and took my hands away from his. I gathered up the pictures and was getting ready to show him, " Ready?" I asked before I showed him any photos.

" Yes." Donnie replied. He was almost shaking with excitement but he also seemed nervous.

" Well, this is the first picture." I showed him a the picture of the ally where I got chased by the purple dragons two years ago. The picture was a bit dark, but you could see the basics of it. It was like you were looking through the man hole, you could see some dimly lite street lights in the back and a dumpster near the edge.

Donnie looked at the picture carefully. His eyes were searching it frantically, like he was looking for something. Then his eyes twitched and he looked up at me. The moment of truth came, would Donnie remember instantly from just one picture?

" Ring any bells?" I asked, trying to control the excitement and shakiness to my tone of voice. Hope flickered in my stomach and the flame was once again lite.

" No." Donnie shook his head disappointingly. Was he giving up? Already?

" Well, we have a lot more to go through, so maybe some other picture will ring a bell." I tried to give Donnie something to hope for. I just prayed that it worked.

I turned to the next picture and began to explain, " This is the actual man hole cover that you dragged me down in. And then gave me a concussion." I laughed at the memory then flipped to the next photo, " Oh and this is the old lair."

" Wait, we're in a new lair?" Donnie asked. The puzzled look on his face reminded me that he still thinks that this is the original lair. We did after all make it look identical to the old one, " Why is it all trashed?"

" Well, when I got my concussion. You guys took me back to your lair. You checked me for any more wounds and what not then we stayed up all night together, watching TV. Then the Shredder came. He burst through the wall with a bunch of foot ninjas and krang behind him. This trashed the lair and forced us to move out. And during the fight, Leo got really hurt." I explained. But by the look on Donnie's face, he didn't remember any of it.

" Um," I continued and showed him the next picture, " This is the place that we stayed at when we didn't have the lair anymore." I explained the story. I explained how Leo was hurt, how we found and made moss beddings. And for weeks they stayed there. Then I explained how Leo would scream every night and that one night it got really bad so they came to get me. Then I showed Donnie the picture of my house, " After that I took care of Leo, you walked me home and carried up to my window because I was grounded and wasn't aloud to leave my house. Then, before you left my house, we kissed."

When I told Donnie that we kissed his eyes grew wide.

" Wow, I didn't know I was that forward with things." Donnie said this more to himself then to me.

" And that's exactly what you said when I went back to the temporary lair about three weeks later. I called it a comfort kiss. Even though, to me, it was so much more." I went a little deeper then I meant too. But it Donnie was going to remember anything, he might as well know everything.

" Anyway." I cleared my throat and continued to flip the pictures, " This is a picture of my dad's friend Antonio. You and I went here one day, and this is a picture of Antonio himself. He owns your favourite pizza place. But, for some reason, you didn't trust him the first time you met him. Oh yeah! And between all of this Sensei got kidnapped by the Krangs, but you guys rescued him, obviously."

" Wow, this is a lot to take in." Donnie murmured and rubbed his head painfully then glanced up at me to continue.

But before I did, I asked, " Are you okay?"

" Yeah." Donnie mumbled, " I just feel one of my headaches coming on again."

" Oh, are you alright?"

" Yeah I'll be fine. Go a head and continue."

I showed him a bunch of other pictures that he guys had taken. There was some of the new lair we're living in right now and there was a picture of Donnie's room. I was explaining everything, every little detail. I explained everything that happened and how Donnie's and mine's relationship was growing and then I came to the picture of the basement of TCRI.

" And this is the basement of TCRI. We had a big fight with Shredder here and this is also when..." My voice trailed off, afraid of what I was about to say, and also what Donnie's reaction would be.

" When what?" Donnie urged me on.

" When April...died."

" What?" Donnie nearly chocked on the air he was breathing, shocked that his beloved April was dead. Tears immediately started filling up Donnie's eyes. I felt bad that now he had to live every single bad memory he had, twice.

Then all of a sudden, Donnie let out this short and quick shriek of pain and grabbed his head again.

" Head ached getting worse?" I asked, concern was creeping it's way into my voice.

" Yeah. But, um, keep going."

" This is also the place where, I said that had feelings for you." I told, trying to lighten up the mood.

" Really? You said it first?" Donnie whimpered in shocked.

" Yeah." I told him, resting my gaze on the picture. This may be a bad memory for Donnie, but it was a good one for me, well some what good. It's where I learned that Donnie liked me too, and that moment could never be ruined for me, " Do you want to continue?" I asked him. In the past hour or so, Donnie learned how we met, that he lost his old home, that he spent weeks in an temporary home, that we got a new lair, that we fought Shredder and won, and that April died. It was a lot to learn in an hour.

Donnie just nodded his head and closed his eyes. A few tears streamed down his cheeks and when he opened them again, they were shinny. But I took a deep breath in and continued, for Donnie.

" Well this is a picture of a pancake breakfast I made once, it was your first time ever eating pancakes. And this next picture..." I paused. The next picture was one of the machine Donnie and I were working on. There would have been a picture between these two, but I didn't take it, " This is a picture of a machine we were working on together. Then we had a fight."

I paused for a moment and the moment that I did, Donnie actually let out a scream.

" Donnie, what's wrong?" Panic gripped my heart and took over me.

" My dang head ache." Donnie muttered.

" Are they always this bad?" I wondered in disbelief. How could a head ache hurt this much?

" No, not usually." Donnie grunted through gritted teeth as he fought back his migraine.

This puzzled me quite a bit. Donnie told me that he's been getting these head ached every so often, but I just assumed that his cracked head was healing. But it was practically fully healed so to have migraines this bad? It didn't make sense.

" Hey Donnie?" I began before I continued with the pictures, " Is there a particular time that you get these head aches?"

" Well, the first time I remember getting one is when I first woke up from being..." Donnie paused and searched for words, " Passed out. I didn't know what was going on and all I knew was that it felt like someone was kicking my head."

" Interesting. What about other times?" I urged on, seeing if I could detect a pattern in his head aches.

" Well, I remember that a few times when I was in here alone, I got them. And when you started talking about atoms and protons." Donnie started to list his head ache events and I was taking note of them in my head, " And, well I was writing these notes. Actually I wrote down everything you told me about the atoms and then I got one of my head aches."

_Of course! When Donnie was writing down our fight and his pencil broke, it must of been because he got a migraine! Why didn't I think of that before?_

" Anything else?" I asked, starting to find a small, possible explanation to this.

" Umm, no. Only just now was the latest one."

" Hmm..." I mumbled. I was going through every possible explanation to this. But it seemed that one kept coming back, " Do you notice a pattern between your head aches?" I asked him but found Donnie staring horrified at the wall, " Donnie? You okay? It's looks like you just seen a ghost."

" Oh, sorry." Donnie gave his head a shake, " I just...zoned out for a minute."

" Oh." I was still a bit suspicious, was he hiding something from me? I just shook it off, " Anyway, should we continue with the pictures?" I asked, deciding to put a pin in the head ache mystery.

" Uh sure." Donnie replied, biting his lower lip, Donnie looked like he was going to say something else, " But, before we continue on. Could you explain to me what our fight was about?"

" Um sure, yeah." I stuttered, preparing myself to re-live that moment, the moment that started all of this, " Well, it all started when you and I were working on a machine to re-scramble the atoms in the air and form a picture or words through the machine screen..." I began to explain. I told Donnie about how I asked about the negative and positive charges and how we fought for a bit about which one is which. Then I told him how we made up and said that we loved each other, " Except," I continued, " Instead of saying I love you too Taylor, you...called me April."

" Oh." Donnie sounded a bit shocked with himself. Like he couldn't believe that he said what he did, " Are you sure that's what happened?"

" Yeah, pretty sure." I gave a sad little laugh, " Why?"

" It, it just doesn't seem right. I-I can't picture myself doing that." Donnie dropped his gaze, ashamed of what he did. I couldn't stand to see Donnie practically blame himself for something that he doesn't even remember.

" But it was my fault." I babbled, " I was the one who started the fight."

Donnie gave no reply. I could tell that I didn't have him convinced. I sighed, not wanting to be here at this moment. Or, maybe I did want to be here, I just wanted the situation to be different. Perhaps maybe Donnie and I could be cuddling in bed, just talking. Enjoying each others company, wanting to be there. Wishing the moment would never end.

But unfortunately, I got snapped back into reality and here I was once again. Sitting on the bed, not next to Donnie, not in his arms. Just merely sitting across and a little to the side of him. My heart sank.

" But anyway." I raised my voice to get us back on track, then lowered it again, " This is the next picture. It's the rooftop you took me on for our second date. And where the foot ninjas had ambushed us."

" What?" Donnie looked up from the ground and stared at the picture of the roof top, " When did this happen?"

" About three days after our fight. We didn't talk to each other for three days. And then, I went top side to get some air and stopped at this rooftop. You just so happened to be there and we talked for a little then an army of foot came and kidnapped us. We, uh, were brought back to TCRI and you got tortured by Shredder, that's how you got so hurt."

" Really? Shredder this one who did this to me?" Donnie didn't sound as surprised as I thought he would be. Shocked? Yes. He was shocked that he got tortured, shocked that Shredder was capable of this. Shocked that it happened to him.

" Yeah. And then I came in the torture room and seen you." I swallowed back the lump in my throat, " Dying in your own pool of blood. I rescued you, with Karai's help, and brought you to the lair. Then you were out cold for a month or so and you woke up and three months, almost four months later here we are." I explained, holding back my own emotions so Donnie had time to reveal his own.

" Has it really been that long?" Donnie asked. Sadness was slowly taking over his voice, Donnie was very overwhelmed, and I don't blame him. I didn't know what to do just then. Should I leave? Stay? Wait here till he remembers?

" Taylor?" Donnie looked at me with teary brown eyes, " Is April really dead?"

I nodded, blinking tightly and let lose a few of my own hot tears, " Do you remember any of this? Anything?"

" No." Donnie shook his head sadly, " But." He continued and hope flashed through me, " I do remember more. I-I remember April leaving. She left and, and I was sad...depressed for a long time and then..." Donnie paused, he held his head once again. Getting ready for a head ached.

" Then that's it?" I asked. I remembered the first time Donnie and I discussed what he remembered. I had urged him to keep going, waiting for more. Only to find out that there wasn't more. And my heat shattered. So to save myself from that kind of disappointment again, I assumed the worst.

" Yeah." Donnie replied, still teary eyed, he continued, " Did...did I really call you April?"

I nodded again. In my head I was screaming for Donnie to stop. Why was he asking me all these painful questions? Why put me, and himself, through this kind of pain?

" Taylor?" Donnie called my name and I looked directly in his eyes, " Do you forgive me? For calling you April?"

At this moment I had to leave because I knew that I had no answer.

" I...I got to go." I told him and left the pictures on Donnie's lap, " Here, look at these some more, see if anything comes back to you." I told him quickly and left. I leaned against he door as I slid it shut. Splinter was no longer in the dojo, I was kinda thankful for that as I slid to the ground. I raked my fingers through my hair and fought back my tears. Why did Donnie have to ask me that question? It's the question that broke me, the question that I hated most. I hated this question because...I didn't know the answer.

* * *

**I know, I know, it's a late update. I'm sorry! But hey, this chapter is kinda long...so that's good...right? Um, good news, I'm not sick anymore. Yay! And all I have left to say is I hoped you enjoyed and please please review. Thanks! :D**


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

A month, a whole freaking month went by and every single day Donnie would stare for countless hours at the pictures. But he still remembered nothing. He would get his head aches, but he would fight through the pain and keep staring at the photos, then he would give in to the pain and take a break. Then he'd continue to stare.

I was in the living room, along with Leo, Raph, Mikey, Karai, Lily and John. We were all just sitting on the couch, staring off into space. We could hear the faint shouts of Donnie coming from Splinter's room. The atmosphere was cold, this household had never felt so cold before. Not cold as in chili, but cold as in empty. It seemed as if everyone had lost hope.

" I don't get. I thought Donnie's memory was suppose to come back in as little as a week." Mikey was the first to break the silence.

" Well, things don't always go to plan, do they?" Raph snapped back, arms folded. Lily layed a comforting hand on Raph's shoulder. He took her hand off and placed it in his then layed his head on hers. Ever since Raph and Lily kissed, it seems like they've been closer then ever.

" What do we do now?" John asked, eyes sad. Even he was worried about Donnie.

" Dunno." Lily rasped. She was no longer sick, but her throat was still bothering her.

" Your all talking like Donnie's never gonna get his memory back." Leo spoke for the first time this afternoon.

" Leo, do you honestly think he is?" Raph was not accusing as he spoke. He sounded caring.

" Yes. I'm not ready to give up." Leo countered.

" Leo. Donnie's not coming back." Although Raph hated to admit it, he was the only one who did.

" Don't say that." Leo warned, his voice tensing.

" Donnie's never coming back, we're not gonna get him back! We lost, Leo! It's over." Raph raised his voice in distress. This whole family was devastated.

Leo didn't answer, he just hung his head a looked away. That's when I seen Karai gazing at me and beckoned me to the side. I knew what was coming.

I went in the hallway with Karai and she pressed me against the wall, hand near my hand so I wouldn't escape.

" Okay Taylor it's time. You have to show him." Karai told me.

" I know but-" I started but she cut me off.

" But what? I already covered for you for not taking the picture. And you said that you'll show him in person. But you said that you would do it three weeks ago!" Karai pointed out. Over the month I had explained to her how I didn't take the picture and she made me promise that I would take Donnie to our first date in person. But I never did, yet.

" I know and-" I tried to speak but Karai interrupted me once again.

" No. No more running, no more dodging it. It's time, you have to do it." Karai laid her point down and was sticking to it. I knew she was right, it was time. It might be Donnie's last hope.

" Fine, I'll go talk to him. Can you tell the others?" I asked. Karai nodded and left me to go talk to Donnie.

I walked back into the living room with Karai but then headed straight for the dojo. I heard John's faint voice in the background asked Karai where was I going. I was already in the dojo before I heard the answer. I made my way into Splinter's room and seen Donnie staring at the pictures.

" Mind if I interrupted?" I asked and invited myself in. I walked over to Donnie and sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

" Sure, what's up?" Donnie asked, putting down the pictures. His eyes were red and had dark circles underneath them. It look as if Donnie hadn't slept in days.

" Still nothing?" I asked, taking the pictures from him and looking through them myself.

" No. But it'll come, eventually." Donnie wasn't ready to give up.

Guilt swarmed over me and it felt like I was drowning in it. I couldn't help but think that maybe if I took the picture, he would have got his memory back. But would that one picture count this much?

" Donnie I need to show you something." I said at last. Karai was right, it's time I got this done.

" Sure, what is it?" Donnie asked, completely unaware of what I was about to show him.

" I need to bring you to it. Do you think you can manage?" I asked, getting up from his bed.

" Yeah." Donnie reassured me and got up, all by himself, without a struggle. Donnie's crack shell was nearly healed and all that was left of his broken leg was a limp. It only took four months.

" Ready?" I asked, already heading towards the door.

" Yeah, coming." Donnie said from behind me. We walked out of the dojo together and into the living room. Everyone was staring at us, not saying a word. They're expression were all shocked. I'm guessing Karai had told them about the picture taking. I looked at each of them and then my gaze stopped at Leo. He wasn't shocked, he had almost a satisfied look. He gave me a reassuring nod. I knew now that Leo was on my side.

Donnie and I left the lair and I took the lead. We didn't talk until we were about five minutes away from our destination. The silence got broken by a grunt from Donnie. I looked behind me, finding Donnie holding onto his broken leg.

" Donnie, you okay?" I asked, fear pulsed through my veins. Did he get hurt again?

" Yeah I'm fine. My leg is just a bit stiff, that's all." Donnie explained and continued to walk beside me. Right there and then I wanted to take his hand and run to our first date scene, like he did to me the first time.

" I'm sorry this happened to you, that you got hurt." I didn't think I could handle another long pause of silence.

" It's okay. It's not like it's your fault." Donnie replied.

I swallowed back the desperate cry in my throat to say that it was my fault, instead I replied, " But you'll be scared for life." He knew what I said was true. He would be scared for life. They were his scars, he owned them.

Donnie didn't protest.

We were now close to the scene. We were about to turn the corner but Donnie but a hand on my shoulder and stopped me. He said, " Thank you." as he turned me around.

" For what?"

" Well, there was times that I thought I'd never get better. But, you gave me hope. Then, I...fell in love with you. You taught me to feel again. I don't feel numb anymore." Donnie poured out his heart to me. I wanted to jumped into Donnie's arms and kiss him till death did us apart. He was so sweet, even if he didn't remember me.

" Your welcome." I whispered back to him. I didn't know what else to say and luckily, we arrived, " Wait here." I told him.

I left Donnie at the corner as I ran to light all the candles and turn on the stereo. I made sure everything was exactly as it was before. Then I turned the stereo on and put on the song 'Trying not to love you.'

" Alright, you can come now!" I shouted back to Donnie and he turned the corner. The LED lights mixed with the flame of the candle, illuminating the hall. I was standing in front of the table, waiting for Donnie to come to me.

The song started to play faintly in the background.

_| you call, to me, and I fall at your feet|_

The song played and I extended my hand out towards Donnie. He approached me and took my hand. He spun me around, instantly reacting to the music. I placed my hands on his shoulders and his hands on my hips. Then I began to dance with him, leading, I made sure he followed the exact footsteps. We were now in sink with the music, dancing just as gracefully as we did the first time.

Tears began to rise up in my eyes. It was exactly as it was the first time. Both him and I loved each other, but this time, nothing could happen. I didn't know if Donnie felt the same way I did right now. Dancing with him was like a dream come true, a fantasy that was mine to keep forever. I let a few silent tears of joy and misery fall down my face. This was one moment I didn't mind re-living with Donnie.

I looked up at Donnie as we danced. I only noticed now that Donnie was breathing heavily and fast. I could hear Donnie's heart pounding and thumping in his chest. He stared to flinched at the sign of one of his head aches coming on.

" Donnie, did you ever try to push through one of these head aches? Did you ever just, let it come?" I asked him.

" No." Donnie grunted, " But I'll try this time." Donnie promised me as we continued to dance. We danced for the rest of the song. With my hands on his shoulders and his hands of my hips, I felt like I was flying on a cloud.

Unfortunately, the song ended but Donnie had me in a dip. Once again in my head, I begged him to kiss me. The perfect moment to kiss had arrived again. Even though I knew that kissing him would feel wrong, but in the moment, it felt like the most right thing Donnie and I could do. But he didn't. For a second time this happened. We both leaned up and just stood there staring at each other. But then, Donnie let out a little scream and backed away from me, grabbing his head in pain.

" Donnie are you alright?" I asked urgently. What was happening?

Donnie began full out screaming and he held onto his head. This was the worst head ache he's ever gotten.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't comfort Donnie in anyway. He just had to let it come and go.

" Ahhhh!" Donnie scream and shook his head. Like he was trying to shake something out of it. Suddenly, Donnie stopped. He stopped screaming, stopped fidgeting, it was dead silent.

Then, Donnie looked up and me. His gaze was blank and lifeless. He was staring deep into my eyes yet not looking at me at all. It looked like about a thousand images flashed across Donnie's eyes. What was happening? Was this what happened when Donnie just lets his migraines come? Then Donnie let out one final scream and fainted.

_Thump_

Donnie hit the floor. Numb with shock, I didn't move a muscle. I pulled out my T-phone and texted Leo right away.

**Leo, Donnie just fainted, help!**

With in a few seconds Leo answered back...

**-Where are you?**

**-Turn left and run for about 10 minutes, then turn the corner. **

**-Alright, I'll be right there!**

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and knelt down beside Donnie. Tears poured out of my eyes at free will. I didn't even feel them coming on, they just happened.

" Donnie..." I whispered his name. I was so scared. What was happening? Why did he faint? Will we have to start back from square one again? Will he forget...again?

I sat there crying quietly until Leo came and turned the corner. I had called for him because he was the one who still believed, who still had hope for Donnie. He was the one who I wanted to help me carry Donnie home.

Leo rushed to our side. He helped me pick up Donnie and drag him back to the lair. I left the romantic scene of our first date behind me. Mine and Donnie's little moment was over, and I'll probably never get it back.

" Come on." Leo hurried me up as I finished blowing out the last of the candles and threw Donnie's arm over my shoulder. We dragged him through the sewer halls and came rushing in the lair.

All of the gang had jumped up and were by mine and Leo's side in an instant. All worried, they crowded around Donnie's passed out body, limp in our arms. But Leo and I just pushed through the crowd and headed back for Splinter's room. We burst through the dojo doors and through Splinter's doors as well. We laid Donnie's body on the bed and then watched him breath.

A strong scent of fear clung to the room, and that was just coming from Leo and myself. I couldn't begin to imagine how much fear there would be if all of us were in here. And I knew from the moment Donnie fainted, that all of us would share the exact same fear, would Donnie forget everything that happened, again?

* * *

I sat on the couch, reading my book. It was late at night and everyone was asleep. Karai was on the other corner of the couch, snoring. It didn't bother me though, I just kept on reading.

It had been a day since Donnie passed out, almost two now. The question still lingered in the air, what happened?

But over the day, I found out what the pattern was between Donnie's head aches. It seemed that every time he tried or did something that had to do with remembering, one of his migraines would start. But all it ever was, was his brain trying to remember. Now I wondered, _what if from the very first head ache, if he just let it come, would he have remembered right away?_

I shook the thought from my head and continued to read. I looked down at my book, I seen all the words on the page, but I didn't read them. I didn't feel like reading, but I sure as heck didn't feel like sleeping. I was to worried, to many thoughts were in my head.

A tear drop fell on my book. I wiped my eyes and tried to hold back my sobs. I didn't want my crying to wake up Karai, but I was so worried about Donnie. I didn't want to start over for a third time. Even if Donnie had amnesia, he fell in love with me for a second time. But would he do it again? Fall in love with the same girl three times.

All I wanted right now was to be in Donnie's arms. I wanted him desperately to wake and remember who I was, but that wouldn't happen. I wanted him to just come marching through the doors and come up and kiss me. I wanted to get lost in him. I wanted to belong to him. I needed Donnie to breath, so right now, I was suffocating.

" Taylor?" A voice called to me. It sounded so close, but I didn't hear anyone coming.

I looked up from my book. I seen Donnie standing in the hallway. He was awake!

" Donnie." Relief flooded over me like a wave of water. I wanted to jumped up and run over to him, but I didn't.

" Me too." Donnie voice was a whisper. I barely heard him. My heart clenched tight in my chest, wondering in if I heard Donnie right, I asked...

" What?"

" Me too." Donnie sounded sad. He sounded as if he had just finished, or was about to start crying.

My heart squeezed even tighter in my chest_. I did hear him right? But why was he saying 'me too?' _To a normal person, they would have been confused. But to me, 'me too' meant so much more. _But why was Donnie saying it?_ Hope burned inside me and I thought I was going to catch fire._ Please Please Please mean something! _The thought screamed in my head as I silently begged Donnie.

My breathing sped up as I sat there and said nothing._ What was there to say? What message was Donnie trying to send? Was it what I thought it was? No, it couldn't be, Donnie doesn't remember that. Does he?_

Finally, when Donnie realized that I had no response, he continued and clarified what he meant by 'me too.'

" Taylor...I...I remember."

* * *

**How many people would be mad if I ended this story right now? I thought about it...but decided not to and settled for ending just a chapter this way...please don't be mad. But do tell me what you think! I love to hear back from you guys! So, please review! :D**


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Did I hear him right? What'd he said? Remembers? Remembers what? Everything? Just some things? What?

A bunch of questions were swarming in my mind as I sat on the couch in astonishment. I stared blankly at Donnie and he stared straight back at me.

" What?" I asked. I wanted to hear Donnie say it one more time, just to make sure I heard him right, before I got my hopes up.

" I remember." Donnie repeated. A smiled was creeping upon his face.

" Remember what?" I wondered. Did he remember all of it?

" Everything." Donnie almost whispered, " I remember what happened with Shredder, I remember the roof top, I remember our fight, I remember the fight with Shredder in TCRI, I remember April dying, I remember her leaving...I remember you."

Joy swelled up inside me. My eyes instantly filled up with tears and they began to pour down my face without me even noticing. I jumped off the couch and practically flew into Donnie's arms. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck as he did to my waist. Donnie picked me up as I jumped into his arms and spun me around.

" Is it really you?" I whispered as we stopped spinning.

" Yeah, it's me." Donnie hushed back.

There was a short pause between us. Until Donnie spoke again.

" Taylor." Donnie pushed me back from the hug but he still held on to my shoulders. I looked straight in his eyes and saw... every emotion possible. I seen sadness, anger, disbelief, but most of all, joy.

" Yeah?" I responded, waiting to hear what Donnie had to say.

" You were so wrong." Donnie told me and laugh when he spoke as he brushed a piece of hair out of my face, " I love you much more then I ever loved April."

More tears came pouring out of my eyes. That's what I needed to hear. This whole time I still had a flicker of doubt in my system, was Donnie really back? But now? I knew he was. I pulled him back into the hug.

I looked up at him. His brown eyes shinning with tears of joy. It really was him. I had Donnie back. My Donnie was really here, with me, holding me. Donnie came back to me.

Getting caught up in the moment, I wrapped my hands around the back of Donnie's head and pulled him towards me and I kissed him. And the great thing was, he kissed me back. And this time it felt right.

I felt Donnie's soft lips on mine and his hands rub my back. Once again Donnie's magical kiss had returned to me.

We backed up against the wall and slowly made it too my room. I had never actually walked and kissed someone before like they did in the movies, but this time I did.

We pushed a side the curtain that I had instead of a door and flopped down simultaneously on my bed. We got under my covers and kissed for a few more moments or two. I ran my fingers threw his purple mask. It was so soft, like silk. Then we pulled apart from each other and cuddled. We both laid on our sides, close to each other. We were so close together that I could hear Donnie's heart pound in his chest. And I was pretty sure Donnie could hear mine as well.

" I missed you." I told him. My cheeks were hot and sticky from my tears that poured down my face that seemed like they didn't want to stop.

" I missed you too." Donnie pulled me closer in and I was now leaning my head against his chest.

" You left me." I whispered, " I thought I lost you." I was pouring out my heart as I began to sob. I was talking as if Donnie had died, but in a way, he did.

" I know, I know." Donnie ran his fingers through my hair while comforting me. I knew Donnie wasn't to blame, it wasn't his fault that he forgot everything. I don't even know why I said it, but Donnie knew that I didn't mean anything to harm him, " I'll never leave you again."

" Promise?" I asked him, living in the moment.

" Only if you promise me the same thing." Donnie told me as he wiped the tears for my eyes.

I nodded my head, too over whelmed to speak.

" Then I promise that I'll never leave you ever again."

I knew that Donnie and I were both promising impossible promises. We were both gonna die one day, and odds are not at the same time or year. But it was the thought that counts.

" Taylor, thank you for showing me the way out." Donnie whispered in my ear and kissed the top of my head.

" What do you mean?" I asked and looked up at him.

" I've realized that because of you, I was able to get my memory back. You were my way out." Donnie explained and brushed a piece of hair away from my face. His touch felt so soft, so gentle, so..right. I took Donnie's hand and held it close to my heart. A pang of sadness shot through me as I thought of something, something that I knew Donnie and I couldn't avoid.

" Donnie, you that we're gonna have to talk about..." I was going to say our fight but I knew there was no need. Donnie knew exactly what I was talking about.

" I know." Donnie concluded my statement, " But. I just got my memory back, I just got _you_ back. Can it at least wait till tomorrow?" He asked.

" Sure." I reassured him, " Donnie?"

" Yeah?" Donnie eyes sparkled as he spoke.

" I love you so much. And I'm glad that I have you back, that I've found you." I told him. Donnie smiled, his missing tooth showing in the dim light of my bedroom.

" I love you too." Donnie told me one last time before kissing me. We kissed for minutes. I got lost in Donnie's lips, his touch, his scent. I felt up lifted and happy. And I was enjoying this moment so much that I wished it could last forever.

We tossed around, laughing as Donnie tickled me. It felt good to laugh again, it felt good to laugh with Donnie. Once we finished our little tickle war, I ended up on top of Donnie's chest and I just laid there, breathing in Donnie's scent.

As I laid on top of Donnie's chest, he was lightly kissing my head. I was listening to the beating of our hearts. They were both thumping fast.

I lifted myself up and kissed Donnie on the lips. We were so in to it, so passionate. Our heats started to beat in rhythm until they were completely simultaneously beating. With our hearts beating at the same time, Donnie took my breath away. It felt like I could hardly breath, yet, air was filling my lungs. But I knew I didn't need to breath, because, Donnie and I were breathing together as one.

We pulled away and stared into each other's eyes, with out saying a word, because the silence was loud enough. As I stared into his eyes, like the rest of him, I got lost in them. His eyes gave me a surge of happiness. There was so much to tell Donnie, but there wasn't enough time in the world to tell him.

Tonight, Donnie slept in my bed, beside me. Yes, I did feel a little guilty for keeping Donnie to myself the first night that he got his memory back. But I didn't care, they could have him tomorrow. Because tonight, Donnie was mine. And he was right here beside me.

We said goodnight to each other after hours of just cuddling. I was so close to Donnie. He was holding me so near to him. I could feel his body heat coming off of him. I wanted to snuggle in closer, but I didn't think it was possible, that's how close we were. I watched Donnie sleep for a while. His soothing breaths, the rhythm of his heart, was hypnotic. And I fell a sleep to the rhythm of it. But more importantly, for the first time in a long time, I fell a sleep in Donnie's arms. And it felt good.

* * *

**I know! I know! This is REALLY late and really short. It shouldn't have taken me this long to update, I've just been kinda lazy lately. But hey, it's a happy chapter right? Well I hope enjoyed it...because the next few chapters won't be so happy. hehe. Anyway, please review! :)**


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

" Donnie!" Leo, Raph and Mikey all simultaneously yelled Donnie's name and burst into tears as they hugged him to death.

It was the next morning when Donnie told the family that he got his memory back. Everyone was thrilled with joy and Donnie's brothers now had him in a death-defying hug. They were all crying.

" We missed you Donnie." Leo whispered through his tears.

" I missed you guys so much." Donnie squeezed his brothers. Besides Donnie's scrawny size, he _is_ taller then all of his brothers and was able to wrap his arms around them.

" Donnie, are you really back? For good?"

This was a question that I expected from Mikey, but it was actually Raph who asked that.

" Yeah, I'm here to stay." Donnie laid his head on Raph's.

I smiled at the sight of the four brothers, reunited once again. They weren't like any other four brothers. Their bond was strong then normal brothers. This was because, normal brothers don't spend five minutes of constant hugging. But these guys did.

After the brothers broke up their hug, Donnie went straight for Master Splinter, who was waiting patiently for his turn to hug his son.

" I missed you father." Donnie buried his face in Splinter's, his Sensei's, his Master's, his father's, deep brown fur.

" I love you, Donatello, my son." Splinter whispered to Donnie and hugged him even tighter as tears began to wet the fur on his cheeks.

When Splinter and Donnie finished hugging. Lily, John, and even Karai went to give Donnie a hug. It wasn't as long as the hug his brother's or father gave him. But it was just as meaningful.

" So, now what?" Raph asked. He couldn't help but bring a smile on his face.

" Let's celebrate Christmas!" Mikey shouted excitedly, throwing his hands up in the air.

" You guys didn't celebrate Christmas?" Donnie was astonished, shocked.

" No." Mikey rubbed his foot on the back of his ankle, " We wanted to wait for you."

Donnie let a new stream of tears fall down his face and he pulled Mikey into another hug.

" Thank you Mikey." Donnie whispered as Mikey hugged him back. He too let a new stream of tears run down his cheeks.

" Your welcome Donnie." Mikey pressed his face into Donnie and breathed in his scent. The two youngest brothers shared a special connection between each other, anyone could see that.

When they stopped hugging each other, Mikey took off with his brothers to go get the Christmas boxes, even if it was May. I smiled as I watched the brothers walk off to the storage room. They couldn't run because Donnie's leg, although he could walk on it, still wasn't healed all the way and he still had a limp.

" I bet your glad to have him back." Lily gave me a little elbow nudge, turning me back to reality.

" Yeah." I said kinda sadly. I knew that Donnie and I had to talk today. Turns out our happily ever after will have to wait. But I shook that thought away. I didn't have to talk to Donnie right now, it could wait a little longer.

" You okay?" Lily asked. Her face turned concerned.

" Yeah. Just...thinking." I didn't completely lie. I was just thinking, but that didn't mean that I wasn't okay.

In a few minutes, the turtles returned with four big boxes. They were all labelled differently. One said 'decorations' the other said ' lights' and ' Christmas tree' and the last one said ' Ornaments.'

We all opened the boxes and started decorating. Leo and Donnie were in charge of the tree/lights. Lily, Mikey and I were on decorations. Then Karai, Raph and John were on ornaments.

Lily and I were searching through the decoration box while Mikey was giving Leo and Donnie a hand with the tree. There was garland and golden rope, a wreath and tinsel. There was that fake cotton snow and little houses to go with it. Then, I found some mistletoe.

" Here Lily." I lowered my voice to a whisper, " Go hang this above Raph." I nudged her and handed her the mistletoe.

Lily took the mistletoe from my hand and ran towards Raph. She sneaked up behind him and tapped Raph on the shoulder.

" Huh?" Raph turned around and before he could react or even see who it was, Lily pecked Raph on the lips. Raph's eyes widen in shock. He had no idea that that was coming. Lily pulled away and smiled. Only a second or two passed before Raph pulled Lily back in for a longer kiss.

" Alright you two love birds, get back to work." Mikey walked by as Raph and Lily pulled away. Little did Mikey know that he had some lights wrapped around one of his ankles. Raph bent down and pulled on the lights, this caused Mikey to trip and faceplant on the floor.

I laughed and then went to hang up some garland. I hoped up on the ledge that hung over the little pool in the lair. I stared to hang garland from it and tied it there with some golden rope. Next I set up the little snow village on the coffee table. I plugged in the village and the whole thing lit up. There was a little bakery and a boutique. There was a hot cocoa place and Santa's work shop. Then the rest was little houses with little people in them. Then, around the middle of the town was an ice rink, there was even little skaters on it.

We spent the whole day decorating, and it seemed everyone was done their jobs, only some ornaments remained so we all went over to help decorate the tree. Most of the ornaments were hand made out of paper and colouring pencils. Then about every second one was signed by Mikey.

When we were done, we all took a step back and looked around. Christmas lights were shining from every corner of the room.

" Looks good guys." John stood proudly with his hands on his hips as he spoke.

" Wait!" Mikey shouted and made all of us jump, but Donnie jumped the highest.

" What is it Mikey?" Raph yelled and whacked Mikey on the back of his head. We figured Donnie was going to be a bit jumpy for a while, so we all agreed not to scare him. But Mikey forgot.

" What about Christmas presents?" Mikey whined.

" Well what day is it?" Lily asked.

" The 18th, why?" Raph responded.

" Well, how about we celebrate Christmas on the 25th, you know, so it gives us a week to get gifts." Lily suggested.

We all nodded in agreement.

" Wait!" Mikey yelled again, " What about celebrating our first snow fall day..." Mikey voiced trailed off as he realized what he just said. Donnie flinched when Mikey spoke. Our first snow fall day was the day Donnie was tortured. Raph gave Mikey another whack to the head. Mikey rubbed his head as he spoke again, " Um, sorry Donnie I-" Mikey began but Donnie cut him off.

" It's okay Mikey," Donnie wouldn't make eye contact with Mikey. We all knew that Donnie wasn't okay. So Donnie didn't make eye contact because he knows he's a terrible liar.

Mikey opened his mouth to continued but I interrupted him. I knew Donnie was very uncomfortable in this situation and was desperately trying to get out of it. So I helped him.

" Donnie. Could I talk to you, in your lab?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

" Sure." Donnie shot me a thankful glance and started to limp towards his lab. I followed him. A pang of sadness shot in my heart. This conversation that I was about to have with him, wasn't going to be a happy one.

Donnie slid open the big metal doors leading to his lab and held them open for me. Then he came in and sat down at his desk, but I remained standing.

" Donnie." I began, already fighting back my emotions.

" I know." He told me, but I had a hard time believing he knew what I was about to do, " I know we have to talk about our fight. And I'm sorry, I should have considered your theory and I shouldn't have called you April..." Donnie went on this big long speech, and while getting a part of what I was going to say, he didn't get all of it.

" Donnie I think we should break up." I blurted out and interrupted Donnie.

Donnie stopped mid speech, he was shocked. He got up and limped two steps towards me.

" What?" He asked. I couldn't help but to stared in his eyes. They were as dark as the night sky, but instead of stars filling them, they were filled with tears.

" I think we should break up." I repeated the dreadful sentence. Killing myself inside.

" W-what? Wh-why?" Donnie stammered.

" Just look at you. Your all scarred and bruised. You're _still_ limping. You got hurt. And it's all my fault." A few tears leaked out of my eyes as I spoke. Ever since Donnie got tortured, the guilt has been eating me alive. And now, I just couldn't stand it anymore.

" It's not your fault. I'm the one who called you April, it's my fault." Donnie blamed himself, but he didn't have me convinced.

" But I'm the one who started it all." I protested, " So if I didn't start the fight, you wouldn't have almost died."

" But-but, I just got you back." Donnie let the tears flow down his face as he cried desperately.

" I know, and I just got you back. But-" I started but Donnie cut me off.

" But what? I don't understand? Why do we have to break up? If it's because we fought, weren't we already broken up?" Donnie nearly shouted.

" No. See that's the thing. We were never actually broken up. But you see, when we're together, as a couple, we fight." I began then paused. The hurt in Donnie's eyes were killing me,just like the words I was saying, they were killing me too, " You get hurt when we fight. So if we're not together, we won't fight. If we don't fight, you won't get hurt." I explained.

" That's not true." Donnie sobbed. He was in denial, he knew that it was true just as much as I did.

" Yes it is!" I yelled, causing Donnie to jump. I got a hold of myself and calmed my voice, " Donnie-" I tried to continue but Donnie interrupted me.

" You promised!" Donnie yelled through tears.

His words finally broke me. I let the tears fall freely down my face. I just got my Donnie back. But now I had to let him go, for his own good. If only I could make Donnie understand that.

" You promised you would never leave me! You promised me that just last night! And your already breaking it?" Donnie yelled at me in shock and sadness. He was hurt. Not only I was breaking one promise, I was breaking two. About a year or so ago, I promised Leo that I would never do anything to hurt Donnie. But that didn't last.

"I know!" I yelled back, frustrated, " You think I'd be doing this if I didn't think it was the right thing to do? I love you for goodness sake! That's why I'm breaking up with you. You and I, when we're together, bad things happen. I don't want you to die on me." I explained.

" But Taylor. I need you." Donnie reached out to touch me, but I just pushed his hand away. This was one of the most hardest things I've ever done. Donnie and I had been through so much together, but now, it was all ending.

" I know, I need you too." I was having second thoughts about breaking up with Donnie. But it had to be done, " How about just for a week?"

" What do you mean?" Donnie wiped his eyes as he asked me.

" How about we break up for a week, just seven days. And then, if we find out that being apart from each other is worst, then we'll get right back together." I explained.

Donnie took a deep breath before speaking, " Okay, but only for a week." Donnie agreed.

" I'll see you in a week." I whispered and back away from Donnie's grasped.

" No! Wait!" Donnie yelled after me as he changed his mind, but I ignored him and kept walking, " Don't leave me."

An image of my promise flashed in my head. I could hear our voices promising one other to never leave them. And then I remembered the night I told Donnie that I would never let him go.

Hearing Donnie's desperate cry was painful. I didn't like this at all. It felt as if I was being stabbed with hundreds of knives. I was begging Donnie in my head to stop talking.

" Taylor! I lo-" Donnie began but I turned around and spoke.

" Donnie stop it!" I screamed, " Just, stop. Don't speak." I cried. All I wanted was to hear Donnie say he loves me, one last time. But I knew that if he spoke as I tried to leave him, I would just come crawling right back into his arms.

Donnie closed his mouth as I silenced him. He shut his eyes tightly as more tears streamed down his face. I hated doing this to Donnie. I turned around and continued to walk towards the door. I heard Donnie muttering to himself as I walked away. I couldn't make out what he was saying, and I'm not sure I wanted to know. So with my heart in my throat, I walked out of Donnie's lab knowing that him and I were broken.

* * *

**Plot twist! Bum, Bum, Bum! See? I told you the next chapter wasn't a happy one, but you know, the title is Broken after all...please don't hate me and please review! :)**


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

I leaned against the door and slid to the floor. I could hear Donnie sobbing from the other side of the wall. It tore me to pieces, it was breaking my heart to know that I caused Donnie this much pain. Silent tears streamed down my face and I ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't cry too loudly, just a few feet away was the living room, where everyone was standing.

" Well I'm gonna head off." I heard Lily's distant voice. I jumped up from the floor and ran towards the living room. All I wanted right now was to talk with Lily, girl to girl.

" Bye Lily." Raph said his goodbyes and brushed Lily's hand as she walked away.

" Bye guys." Lily waved goodbye just as I came to the living room.

" Hey, mind if I walk with you?" I asked as casual as I could. I hoped that my voice wasn't as shaky and my eyes weren't as red and puffy as they felt.

" Sure, John, you coming?" Lily answered me then turned to John. He got off the couch and nodded.

" I'll come too, I need the fresh air." Karai got up as she decided to tag along.

So we all set off towards John and Lily's house. We walked through the sewer tunnels. John, Lily and Karai were all talking away, but I remained silent. I was too busy listening to my thoughts then to my friends. I begged my mind to shut up, but it wouldn't listen.

When we were at the man hole cover, I slid it opened and hopped out. Lily, Karai and John followed.

" I'll continue with Lily, Karai you want to go with John?" I suggested. I knew that John was really starting to like Karai, so I decided to give those two some time alone.

" Sure, see ya in a bit." Karai waved me off and her and John walked away.

I walked with Lily to her porch step. Lily's parents weren't home, so I didn't have to hide in the shadows.

" Okay, what's up?" Lily turned around to face me, eyes narrowed, standing in the door frame.

" What?" I was a bit shocked by Lily's sternness.

" You've been really quiet, what's wrong?" Lily explained herself.

" Nothings wrong." I lied, hoping Lily would leave it alone.

" C'mon Taylor your not fooling me. I've been your best friend since like, forever. I know when somethings up, so spill the beans." Lily folded her arms.

" Donnie and I broke up." I admitted. I bit my lower lip and waited for Lily to respond. But instead of a verbal response, Lily ran into her kitchen. She searched her cabinets and then her freezer.

" Alright Taylor, I have chocolate frosting and vanilla ice cream. Which do you prefer?" Lily asked and gesture for me to come in.

I walked into her house and took a seat on the couch as she came to join me with the ice cream, frosting and two spoons.

" Lily, I don't need any comfort food. Donnie and I both agreed on this break up, well...sorta." I told her, sniffling.

" Don't lie to me Taylor. Your heart is broken and you know it."

I sighed, knowing Lily was right, " I'll take the ice cream." I grabbed the ice cream from Lily's hands and opened the lid. I took a spoon and began to stuff my face, and cry, again.

" So, what happened?" Lily asked with sincerity in her voice as she opened the frosting and began to munch with me.

" I told him that I think we-e should bre-ak up, for the better good. Just for a week. I thought I was do-doing the right th-thing," I began to explain myself through my mouth full of ice cream and my tears, " But I never imagined being away from Donnie would feel like this."

" You've spent, what? Four months without Donnie? I'm sure you can survive another week." Lily comforted me and pulled me into a hug.

" But this is different," I protested and waved my ice cream spoon around, " We weren't together because Donnie didn't know who I was, it wasn't on purpose. But this is." I sobbed even harder as Lily pulled me in tighter.

It was nice to have the comfort of a friend when I cried. I never thought I would cry over a guy. But Donnie wasn't just any other guy, he's the love of my life. But now, he's not mine anymore.

" So Lily." Began and wiped my eyes, " I've heard about your and Raph's little kiss" I nudged her. Even though it happened along time ago, Lily and I never really had a chance to talk about it.

" Yeah, but that happened like a month ago. Why bring it up now?" Lily wondered.

" I dunno." I shrugged, " I need to hear something happy for a change...so how was it?"

" I don't know. Fine I guess." Lily didn't have me fooled for a second.

" Fine?" I doubted.

" Alright it was amazing!" Lily laughed and blew her blond hair out of her eyes.

" Yeah." I said absentmindedly. I was thinking about how amazing I felt when Donnie kissed me, " So do you think things are getting serious between you two?"

" I don't know, I-I hope so. I mean we're not technically 'dating' but you know.." Lily stuttered.

A sudden car door slam made me jump. Lily's parents were home. I jumped up from my seat.

" I gotta go. See ya, soon." I said goodbye to Lily and like a ninja, was gone in a flash. I hid in the shadows for a moment and watched Lily's parents walk inside their house. I peeked through the window and seen Lily and her parents hug and then start to chat. Is that what it's like to have loving parents? I sighed and started to walk away. When I was a little ways away from Lily's house, I came out of the shadows and back on the side walk.

I no longer needed to hide because it was the middle of the night and Lily's street was nearly almost empty. I took a lot longer then it normally would have to get back to the sewers. This was because I decided to walk around the block and then I hopped down the man hole. It felt as if both my feet weighed a thousand pounds each, and I had to drag them all the way home.

* * *

I flopped myself down on my bed. Everyone was gone to bed when I got home from Lily's. I crashed my face into my pillow and sobbed. I never knew one person could cry this much, in one night.

I turned over on my back and rubbed my arms, I felt cold, and alone.

All I wanted right now was to be in Donnie's arms, to be held by him. It was only the first night Donnie and I was apart from each other and I was already miserable.

_Did I do the right thing?_ I thought to myself as I wiped my eyes,_ I mean, was breaking up with Donnie was the right choice? I'm already heart broken and it's only the first night we broke up. Is that a sign? I thought I was doing this because it seemed like the best thing to do. If Donnie and I aren't together, we wont fight. Then he wont get hurt like that again, right? I rather not be with Donnie then to see him die._

_I wonder how Donnie is doing. Is he alright? Is he as sad as I am? He sounded like it when I last left him...right. I left him. I brought this upon myself. I deserve it. But does Donnie? No, he doesn't deserve this kind of pain. He's already been through enough. But, this is better then dying. And Donnie can't die. This family would be wrecked if Donnie had actually died._

I sighed and rolled on my side._ Why does everything have to be so complicated? I'm protecting Donnie from harm, I think._ I spent half the night awake just talking to myself. Wondering if I made the right choice or not. I hated hurting Donnie.

I did get to sleep eventually, but not after a long time. I think it was about three in the morning before my eyes drifted closed.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling worse then ever. _Day two of seven._ I thought to myself as I forced myself out of my bed. There was nothing more that I wanted then to just stay in bed and lay there for the next seven days.

I stumbled out my door and walked to the living room. Leo was on the couch watching his favourite TV show, space heroes. Raph was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and Mikey was sitting on the opposite end of the couch trying to explain to Karai the many uses of reading comics.

I stood in place for a moment, just watching everyone enjoying themselves. Well, almost everyone. Donnie was nowhere to be found.

" Hey, guys?" Mikey called out as I walked in and sat on the couch next to him, " Where's Donnie?"

" I think hes still in the lab." Leo turned his full attention to the beginning of what seemed like a important conversation.

" You mean he never came out?" I was shocked. Did Donnie spend the night in there?

" Yeah. He's been in there since you guys went to talk." Leo explained, he had a suspicious tone creeping into his voice.

" What did you guys talk about anyway?" Mikey asked. He sounded so innocent. He didn't realize that what Donnie and I talked about was much bigger then just a casual question.

" Breakfast's ready! Come and get it!" Raph shouted from then kitchen. I gave a small sigh of relief. I didn't want to explain myself to Mikey.

" Coming!" We all shouted at the same time as we got up. We started to walk but Leo and I paused in our steps as we seen Mikey head towards Donnie's lab instead of the kitchen, we followed him.

" Donnie." Mikey shouted to his brother on the other side of the door, " Breakfast is ready. Are you coming out?"

" No." Donnie called back. His voice was faint but I heard pain in it. What was going on in there?

" Aren't you hungry? You should eat something." Mikey's voice cracked with sadness.

" Not hungry." Donnie shouted from his lab. Mikey leaned his head against the door, looking sad.

" What's wrong Mikey?" Leo came from behind him. Mikey looked down at the ground before looking up at Leo and spoke.

" I don't get it. Donnie's better right? He seemed fine yesterday." Mikey asked as he choked on his words. You know this family had been through a lot when Mikey starts to get choked up. I stood there silently, feeling bad for him.

" Mikey." Leo began with sympathy in his eyes and set a hand of Mikey's shoulder, " Donnie just gotten better, give it some time. He'll come around."

After a moment of hesitation, Mikey responded, " Yeah I guess your right." And he shook that frown off his face and skipped towards the kitchen. I turned and followed him, with Leo hot on my trail. And right before I entered the kitchen, Leo grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards the wall.

" What did you guys talk about?" Leo asked with sternness in his voice yet with concern in his eyes. He was truly worried for Donnie.

I didn't, I couldn't tell Leo what happened. I didn't want to. I didn't want it to be true, even though it very much is. I hate being away from Donnie already and it's only the second day. We broke up, I, broke up with him. I broke his heart. How was I suppose to tell Leo that?

My silence must of worried Leo as he gripped my arm tighter. This wasn't like Leo at all. He's not the aggressive type. Something must be troubling him.

" I-I.." I stuttered. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I broke my promise to him, and that's that. Nothing more to it. I wanted to ask him if anythings wrong, but it didn't feel like the right time.

" Are you guys coming?" Raph shouted in the kitchen. He was getting impatient as breakfast was getting cold.

" Yeah, coming!" I shouted back and brushed off Leo's hand as I ran into the kitchen. Leo followed after me. We took our seats at the table and began to eat the pancakes Raph had prepared. We've been eating pancakes a lot lately since the first pancake breakfast I had made. It became a family favourite.

We all sat and ate in silence. We all just kinda stared off in the direction of Donnie's empty seat. He should be here with us, eating, laughing. But he wasn't, and it was all my fault. I know that we both agreed to break up for a week, thinking that it would be the easiest way out. But now I'm not so sure.

When we were done, Karai, Mikey, Leo and I all washed, rinsed, dried and put away the dishes. And I must say that must of been the most active part of the day.

The rest of the day was long and boring. Nothing really happened. We all just kinda walked around, doing are own thing. Leo spent most of the day watching the space hero marathon while Mikey read comics all day. Lily did come over and was spending the night. Of course, she and Raph went to his room and did who knows what. Karai was just laying around, going back and forth between watching TV and listening to rants about how comics can improve lifestyle. And Donnie? He stayed in his lab all day. Not coming out to eat, not coming out to do anything.

Then end of the day finally came and I decided to go to bed early. I wanted to get to sleep right away. The sooner I went to sleep, the sooner the day would be over, and then the sooner the day's over, that's one lest day without Donnie by my side.

I kept thinking those thoughts over and over in my head as I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I fell asleep thinking, soon enough, this will all be over.

* * *

**I don't know why, but I don't really like the ending of this chapter...it just seems too...choppy I guess you could say. This chapter is kinda like a filler chapter, nothing really goes on, but we all need them right? Anyway, hopefully next chapter will be more eventful then this one. I hoped you enjoyed it none the less and please review! **


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

" Taylor..." A female voice called out to me as I slowly blinked opened my eyes. At first my vision was blurry and everything seemed like a big blob of colour.

" Huh?" I moaned groggily. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to live through another day away from Donnie. All I felt like doing is lying in bed all day.

_Does that count as depression?_ I thought to myself. _Why can't I just go back to him?_ I already knew the answer to that question. Something inside me keeps telling me that I have to stay away from Donnie. It's for his own good. Bad things happen when we're together. I can't let Donnie get hurt like that again. I can't let him die.

" Taylor!" That voice shouted my name again. I recognized Lily's voice this time. And when my vision cleared up, I seen a close up of Lily's face hovering over me. Instantly I was wide awake.

" Lily? What are you doing here?" I asked her. I couldn't sit up because she was on my bed, pinning me down.

" Uh, I spent the night. Remember?" She pointed out the obvious that I had clearly forgotten.

" Right. But, what are you doing in my room?"

" We're going Christmas shopping for the guys." Lily said matter-o-factually.

" And when did we plan this?" I asked her, coking my eyebrow. I don't remember ever telling Lily that we were going to go Christmas shopping. I couldn't be this forgetful right?

" We didn't. But I figured that since your in a rut.." Lily began.

" A rut?" I question. I knew it was true, but it doesn't mean I wanted to admit it. But Lily ignored me and continued.

" We should go shopping. You know, just some girl time. And since Christmas, well, our Christmas is in five days, counting today of course, what better way to go shopping then to shop for presents?" Lily explained, smiling as she waited for my reaction.

" Um, okay. But what time is it?" I asked. I couldn't turn my head far enough to see my alarm clock with a Lily on top of me.

" Eleven O'clock." Lily shrugged.

" Eleven?!" I sat up quickly but clonked my head against Lily's and layed back down. I couldn't believe that I slept in till eleven.

" Yeah." Lily let go of my wrist to rub her head. She brushed her long blonde hair out of her face as she got off me and helped me up, " Do you want to get some breakfast before we go?"

" Nah I'm not hungry." I told her and we walked out of my room together. Eating was the last thing that I wanted to do. I felt like throwing up but I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast, so there was nothing in my stomach.

And on that note we headed off towards the mall. We left the lair with quick goodbyes and walked through the sewer. We surfaced at the first man hole cover and walked passed Lily's house. The hot May breeze was blowing through mine and Lily's hair and the sky was a mucky gray. Although no snow was on the ground, it still had a Christmas-y atmosphere. Since we were Christmas shopping and all.

" So where to first?" I asked Lily, breaking the silence. We walked along probably the most busy street in our neighbourhood as it started to rain.

" Isn't there a Christmas store open 24-7 in the mall?" Lily wondered as we entered the huge mall. Thankfully it had air conditioning. Although in was raining outside, it was still hot.

" Yeah, it's called 'All year round'." I answered her as we searched for the store.

" I wonder how it stays open all year round. Business must be slow." Lily commented and we turned a corner to another section of the mall. It was really two malls in one. It was huge.

" It's New York, anything can happen." I shrugged and entered the Christmas store. It had all kinds of stuff. It had everything from Christmas decorations to toys. Christmas lights were hanging everywhere. In fact instead of sealing lights, the thing that was illuminating the store was multicoloured Christmas lights.

" So who should we buy for first?" Lily asked and grabbed a shopping cart.

" Leo. Leo will definitely be the easiest." I told her and began to walk towards the toy section. I knew exactly what I wanted to get him.

I searched through the many isles of toys until I found an entire wall of Space Heroes merchandise.

" Space Heroes? Nice." Lily said and began to search through the Space Heroes stuff with me. I wanted to get Leo the limited edition action figure of Captain Ryan from Leo's favourite episode. Finally I found it.

" Doesn't Leo already have a Captain Ryan action figure?" Lily wondered as she put on a mask of a green alien from Space Heroes.

" Yeah," I told her, " But not this one. This is the special colour shift Ryan from Leo's favourite episode, Personality mess-up. If you press this button on his back, Ryan's shirt changes from Yellow to Red."

" So?" Lily raised her eyebrow and removed the mask.

" I dunno. He's like evil or something when he's in red." I shrugged and toss the action figure in the cart, " He's been talking about it for a while now."

" Okay." Lily responded and continued to search, " What do you think I should get him?" Lily asked, but not turning her head to face me. Her eyes were glued to the shelves.

" Um..." I was at lost for words.

" What about this?" Lily held up a built-it-yourself Space Heroes ship, " Do you think he'll like it?"

" Yeah. He'll love it." I reassured Lily and she put the ship in the cart and we moved on.

" Who next?" Lily asked even though the answer was pretty obvious, we were passing by the comic/video game section.

" Mikey." I simply responded, " He'll be easy too. He loves video games, skateboarding, comics and pizza."

" Alright." Lily glanced around the store, thinking what to get Mikey. " How about these?" She held up a pair of orange skateboard wheels, "His are getting pretty warn out."

" I think their great. Add them in." I took the wheels from Lily and placed them in the cart, " What should I get him?"

" Umm, Antonio owns a pizza place right?" Lily wondered as I wondered what she was on to.

" Yeah, why?" My suspicions increased.

" Well, see if you can get him free pizza for a like a week or something." Lily suggested.

" That sounds perfect. We can stop by Antonio's later. Should we do Raph now?" I asked and pushed the cart towards the cash register. I figured that there wouldn't be anything in this Christmas store that would appeal to Raph.

" Sure." Lily agreed and dug out her wallet from her back pocket of her jeans. It was a black leathery wallet with bright coloured feathers on them, that Lily glued to the wallet. She was in to that weird kind of stuff. And to be more specific, the feathers were Blue, Red, Purple and Orange.

" Your total comes to 48.84." Said the cashier with a dull voice. You can always tell when people hate their lives. Especially when your boss makes you where an Elf costume in May. Poor guy.

" Here." Lily handed him the money and grabbed the bags when I returned the cart to the cart station, thingy.

" So what does Raph want for Christmas?" I asked Lily as we head out of the Christmas store and sat on the mall bench.

" I don't know." Lily sat back, shocked with herself.

" Your dating him and you never found out what he wants for Christmas?" I asked her in disbelief.

" We're not technically dating." Lily sounded disappointed as she spoke, " And we never really talked about it."

" What do you guys talk about anyway?" I asked her, " Hey, want to get some frozen yogurt?" I added as a side note.

" Sure." Lily got up and rushed to Frogurt, the frozen yogurt shop that we have in the mall. She left the shopping bags behind. I picked up the plastic bags and ran after Lily.

I finally came to Frogurt. It was only a few stores down in the mall from where the bench was. By time I got there, Lily had already ordered us two mango peach yogurts. She was sitting at a little red round table, on one of those tall twisty stools.

" What's the big rush?" I asked her and sat down, putting down the shopping back as well.

" I, was uh, hungry?" Lily made up an excuse. She didn't make eye contact with me and she sat there playing with her thumbs. She was obvious hiding something.

" Okay, what are you hiding?" I went straight to the point. Curiosity pricked at my stomach.

" Nothing." Lily mumbled. I barely made out what she said.

" Uh-huh, sure. C'mon what do you guys talk about?" I asked her again.

Lily didn't answer. I let out a hefty breath, getting a bit frustrated. Why was Lily avoiding the question?

" I just, I, Raph." Lily began then sighed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair before continuing, " Raph and I promised each other not to tell anyone. It's kinda like 'our thing'. You know?"

" Yeah, I understand." I told her as a girl came by with our yogurt. I knew exactly what she meant. 'Me too' was mine and Donnie's thing. Just like the stuff they talk about was Raph and Lily's thing, " So um, what do you want to get Raph?" I asked, changing the subject.

" I dunno. I know he's really into fitness and what not. So maybe something gym-y?" Lily suggested.

" Sure, but what doesn't he already have? Raph and the guys have a dojo, what more can they need?" I pointed out. This was harder then I thought it would be.

" Well I don't see you coming up with any ideas." Lily added frustratedly and folded her arms.

I paused for a moment to think. _What do I know about Raph? I know he talks for hours with Lily in his room. What does he do when she's not here? Either reads a comic or works out._

I never really realized how much time Raph spends by himself. _Does he get lonely?_ Then, it hit me.

" OH idea!" I got up and shouted. All eyes turned to me. I felt my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. I cleared my throat and sat back down, " I think we should get Raph a pet."

" What?" Lily gave me a confused look, like she couldn't believe what I just said.

" You know, a pet." I continued, " A dog, cat, bird?"

" I know what a pet is. But what kind of pet?" Lily asked and took a spoonful of yogurt.

" A dog?" I shrugged as I started to name off pets.

" Isn't Mikey allergic to dogs?" Lily wondered.

" Oh yeah. Maybe a cat?"

" A cat? Really Taylor? What about Splinter? He's a rat."

" Right." I laughed as I responded. How could I have forgot that?, " What about a lizard?"

" I don't think Raph is a lizard kind of person." Lily responded.

" Then what kind of pet?" I asked cause I was all out of ideas.

" A turtle." Lily replied like it was the simplest thing in the world.

" A turtle?" I questioned, " Like what..." my voice trailed off. I looked around the yogurt shop to make sure no one near us was listening. Then I leaned in close to Lily to talk, " You mean a turtle, like what they are?"

" Yeah." Lily nodded and leaned back, " Why not?"

" It's like giving you a pet human. It-it's weird Lily."

" But I really think Raph will like it." Lily urged on. Desperation shown in her eyes. Why did this mean so much to her?, " I really really really think Raph will like a turtle." Lily continued to plea.

" Am I missing something?" I asked her. Something was up, and I was going to find out what.

" No no. Nothing at all." Lily replied a bit to quickly for comfort.

" Alright Lily. What's up? What's the meaning behind this?"

" I...I can't say." Lily let her eyes drop to the ground.

" And why not?"

" Because..." Lily hesitated, shifting her eyes nervously, " Raph made me promise not to tell... anyone. Sorry."

I dropped my shoulders in disappointment, " How bad could it be?" I asked.

" It's not bad. Raph just doesn't like to talk about it." Lily responded.

Silence fell over us after that. We were both playing with our spoons in our, melted, frozen yogurt. I really wanted to know what Raph and Lily were hiding. But, it's their private stuff, so I decided not to ask again.

" I still don't think Raph would want a pet turtle." I got back on the subject of what to get Raph.

" Okay fine I'll tell you!" Lily blurted out, a little louder then necessary. My eyes pealed away from my spoon and yogurt and I looked up at Lily with bewilderment.

" Really?" I questioned, " You don't have to, you know that right?"

" You see," Lily started and pretended like she didn't hear what I just said. I suppressed a sigh as Lily continued, " like a year ago or something. You weren't even with the turtles at this time. But Raph had this pet turtle named Spike. He was Raph's only companion, and Raph would spend all his time with this turtle. But, um.."

"What, what happened?" I urged her on, finally getting a word into this conversation.

" Well, Spike got into some mutagen," Lily spoke rather quickly, " And he mutated into Slash, the turtles got hurt, Slash is evil and was never seen again to this day."

" Wow, poor Raph."

" Yeah I know. Spike was his best friend." Lily told me and continued, "Raph always wanted another pet but he can't find it in himself to get one. He doesn't want to replace Spike. So, I thought maybe we could, get him another one."

" Aww, that is so sweet Lily." I told her, " We'll definitely have to buy Raph another pet."

" Pet's are kinda expensive, want to split the price?" Lily added hopefully, like she was waiting for the right moment to ask this.

" Sure." I paused and thought about the idea some more, "But we shouldn't get it right now. It'd be kinda hard to hide a per for," I paused again as I counted the days remaining till our Christmas on my fingers, " Four days..." My voice trailed off as I realized that, Christmas was the day that Donnie and could, 'get back together.'

" Taylor? You okay?" Lily asked, concerned bubbled inside her voice.

I gave my head a shake before answering, " Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry, what did you say?" I asked shyly and brushed a lose piece of hair behind my ear.

" Um, all I said was that I agree with you. We should probably wait till Christmas eve or day before." Lily added cautiously. Curiosity still glowed in her blue eyes.

" G-good idea." I stuttered and looked down at the ground, unable to meet Lily's burning gaze. I was dying to change the subject.

" So now that Raph is covered," Lily got my mental message, " What do you want to get Donnie?"

I flinched at the mention of his name. _Seriously? Anything but this!_ I screamed in my head. _Out of all the topics, we had to pick this. _I should of seen this coming.

" I-I don't know." I still didn't look up from the floor.

" Really, you're dating him and you never found of what he wants for Christmas?" Lily quoted me from earlier.

" Um, Lily. We broke up, remember?" I reminded her of the thought that must of slipped her mind. I tried my best not to burst out in tears as I spoke.

" Right, sorry. But just for a week right? So, you still have to give him a present." Lily stated matter-o-factly. Clearly she didn't realize how..sensitive, this topic was.

" Do...do we have to talk about this now?" I asked her and rubbed my arms._ Please stop talking._

" C'mon Taylor-" Lily stared but I stopped her mid sentence.

" Lily stop."

" Taylor-" She tried to continue but failed again.

" Please stop." I raised my voice a bit and tightened my grip on my arms. My nails were digging into my skin as anger and sorrow was rising inside me.

" Taylor, when are you going to own up, go back to him and realize that you guys are meant to be?" Lily talked with sincerity. But that just made me boil over and snap.

I stood up and slammed my fist against the table. What was suppose to be a fun trip to the mall was about to change, " You don't think I know that?!" I yelled, completely unaware of all the people starring at me, " I'm dying every day without him! But I can't go back! Can't you see? I almost killed him!"

I panted and looked around. I now notice how loud I was being. I also noticed how many eyes were staring at me. The people's gazes were hot and felt like they were burning my skin. I couldn't stand in much longer. So with one last glance at Lily's horrified face, I ran out of the mall and into the rain.

I only ran for a little bit on the ground until I reached a building with large enough windowsills so I could jump up on the roof. I jumped up and began to run on the roofs. I headed straight to the roof top that I knew, no one else would be there. The street was deserted and private. This roof top that I was heading for had many meanings, memories that came with it.

It took about ten minutes of running in the rain to get there. And by time I did, I was soaked.

I stood on the edge of the rooftop of mine and Donnie's second date. I let the tears stream freely down my face. No one would be able to tell that I was crying because of the downpour that hid my tears. I raked my tense fingers through my hair as I looked up at the gray sky and silently wailed.

_What's happening to me? I've never been like this before! I've never cried like this over any guy. Why is Donnie different? _I couldn't escape the thoughts in my head like I've escaped Lily_, Donnie brings out a side of me that I've never even knew I had. I've never seen me like this. Crazy over a guy... a turtle! Why does Donnie bring out this side of me? That no one, not even me ever seen before. Why couldn't I keep her hidden. I never wanted this to happen...Donnie's the best thing that ever happened to me._

I stomped my foot and raked my fingernails down my face to let out my frustration. I guess love really does make people go crazy. Especially when your love goes horribly wrong.

_**Taylor...**_

A deep voice rang in my ears. I jerked around and screamed, " Who's there?" Only to see nothing but an empty rooftop.

_**Taylor...**_

The voice called again.

" Where are you!" I shouted, starting to get scared, and desperate.

_**I'm you...**_

The voice suddenly turned softer and sounded like me. It was no longer deep, no longer scary. It was my voice, talking to me, except, I wasn't talking at all.

" What's going on?" I squinted through the rain trying to see some sort of image. But all I saw was a blurry rooftop, rain, and gray skies.

_**Don't be afraid...I'm you. **_

" What do you mean your me? Where are you?"

_**I'm in your head. Your... inner voice.**_

" You mean I'm talking to myself?" I asked, confused as heck. How could I be talking to myself, out loud?, " You don't sound like your in my head." I pointed out, my suspicions rising, " Mikey? Is that you? This isn't funny."

_**It's not Mikey. Taylor, I'm you. Now listen. **_

Getting really creep out, I shut my mouth and decided to listen...to myself.

_**Look over the edge of the building. What do you see? **_

" A long drop?" I answered some-what sarcastically.

_**Exactly. Don't you see how easy it would be to jump off? With all your...troubles, behind? **_

" Wait what?" I asked, surprised. Was I telling myself to kill me? " What do you want from me?"

_**I want you to listen! **_The voice got more aggressive then calmed itself.**_ Do you know what I'm suggesting? _**

" Um, yeah."

_**But you don't want to jump, do you? **_

" Of course not!" I shouted. I didn't want to jump, at least I didn't think I did. I've never really thought about it before. The more I looked down, the easier it would be to jump off...I gave my head a good shake. _What am I thinking?_

_**Seems easy right? You won't have to deal with all your pain anymore. You won't have to suffer without Donnie. **_

_Donnie! Why did she, I mean me, I mean it, have to bring him up? I'm trying to escape those thoughts. I wish this voice would just go away!_

_**Well that's not very nice.**_

" What?"

_**I can hear your thoughts too you know. I'm you, remember?**_ My voice called out to me. It sounded like someone was whispering right in my ear, but at the same time, the voice, my voice, sounded as if it was screaming at me. Was I going crazy?

_**Don't do it. **_

" Do what!?" I screamed and grabbed my head. _Get out, get out, get out!_

_**Don't jump. I want you to do something for me.**_

" Why would I do something for you?" I questioned, letting frustration edge into my tone.

My voice chuckled as it spoke,

_**Because if you don't, bad things will happen. **_

All of a sudden, my sight began to swirl. The rooftop, the long drop, the gray rainy skies all faded away and a vision flashed in front of me. I was in the lair. All was quiet, no one was here except me. I walked forward. My mouth opened to call out to someone, anyone, but no sound came out of my mouth. I walked some more until I entered the dojo. I slowly opened the doors and walked in.

My eyes stretched wide with horror as all four of the dojo walls were red. Not a nice bright red, but a deep red, blood red. And in the centre of the floor, all four turtles and Master Splinter laid dead in front of me. And the blood on the walls was theirs. I looked down on the blood soaked floor and seen my shoes getting more and more red. I glanced at my hands, they were covered in blood, their blood. How was is happening?

I walk over to my dead family. Splinter's body was all most completely fur-less with long gashes running down his centre. Leo, lying right beside Splinter had his eyes dug out. Nothing was left of them except oozing blood holes. Raph's head was turned all the way around and a scream of pain was still etched on his face. Mikey was missing his arms and legs. They were separated from his body and no where to be found. And even though everyone was dead, blood still came pouring out of their limp bodies.

_Where's Donnie?_ The thought erupted my mind like an exploding volcano.

" Taylor..." Donnie's fragile voice called out to me as I turned around. In the farthest corner of the dojo was Donnie lying on the floor, bleeding out, with one hand extended to me. My world turned black as I tried to run to him. The red dojo was disappearing and all I saw was one corner of it with Donnie lying there, waiting for me to come. I tried to run to him and as it felt like my legs were carrying me somewhere, I was going nowhere.

For some reason I thought that if I could get to Donnie, I could save him. But I never did. Donnie began to swirl out and fade away. But his whispering voice surrounded me as I failed for a third time to be there for him when he needed me most.

With my heart racing and pounding in my ears, I tried and failed one last time to reach out to Donnie before all colour faded from my view. And my vision was engulfed with darkness.

I tried screaming, but still no sound came out of my mouth. I dropped to my knees as I continued to silently scream at the blackness of my world. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare now. I closed my eyes, hoping that something would happen.

When I opened them again, I found myself standing on the rooftop I started on. I was back. Back in reality.

_**See? You don't want that to happen do you?**_ My voice continued as if nothing happened.

" You sent me there? Why?" I wailed. _What's happening to me?_

**_So you could see for yourself what I would do if you didn't do as your told._**

" What? Why would I do that? I would never!"

_**I would do it. Not you.**_

" But I thought you were me." I pointed out.

_**I am! I mean, I'm your voice. Just...don't question it, I have great powers. **_

" Um, okay. What do you want me to do?" I asked. Trying not to let fear come over my voice.

_**I want you to make Donatello hate you. **_

" What?" I was practically speechless, " Why?"

_**Because your miserable without him. **_

" Yeah, but we're going to get back together in just four days."

_**No! You can't. You know your better off without him. If you get back together, he will just get hurt again. **_

" But why does he have to hate me?" I asked. I was confused. _Why couldn't we just stay away from each other?_

_**You know very well that you can't stay away from each other. But if he hated you. It'd be easier on the both of you.**_

" Yeah but-" I started only to get interrupted.

_**Just do it! It's for the better. You don't want your little vision to happen. **_

" No." I looked down, knowing that there was no argument. I had lost, I had no choice but to agree.

_**Then make him hate you. **_

I hesitated. _I don't Donnie to hate me. Maybe I could fake it. How would my 'inner voice' know anyway?_

_**I can hear you you know. And trust me, I'll know. So will you do it? **_

" I-I guess so." I responded without really thinking. _Is there anyway to escape this?_

_**There's no hiding from me Taylor. I'm everywhere you go. I can see everything. I know everything.**_ My voice taunted me. But with the last sentence that it spoke, it's voice got really deep again like when it first started to talk to me, _**There's no escaping me Taylor. I will always find you.**_

And at that note, the wind swirled around and my inner voice left. Leaving the air dead dry.

" What just happened?" I panted as if I was tired from running. Even if I ran nowhere.

Fear was taking over me and I was still standing close to the edge of the building. I felt like I could faint at any moment. So I backed away from the edge, almost losing my balance. Rain soaked through my skin and seemed to be coming down heavier then before. It should be loud but all I could hear was my heart pounding and blood roaring in my ears. Nothing felt like it was real.

I stood in the rain for a few more moments until I decided to head home. I sprinted off this roof and as I jumped from rooftop to rooftop, I wondered if I would ever go back to the whispering rooftop. The roof of mine and Donnie's second date. I shook that thought out of my mind as I went farther and farther away of that rooftop, with out looking back.

* * *

**I'm sorry! I know this update is really late, it's just that my laptop broke and I only got it back now. Please don't hate me, I promise that the other chapters won't take this long. And speaking of chapters, I don't really have an explanation for this one. I know the whole 'inner voice' thing seems weird and like a major plot twist. But I had to put it in there to keep the story exciting. Plus...I think I smell a third story coming up. ;) Again, please don't hate me! And review! :D**


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

" Good your home." Raph greeted me as he and his brothers came up to me. They all looked as if they wanted something, " Where's Lily?"

" Um" I realized that I hadn't thought of an excuse to why I came home without her, " She, uh, went home..."

" But all her stuff is still here." Mikey pointed out innocently. I shot him a warning glance, but he didn't seem to notice.

" Right. Yeah uh.." I rocked back and forth on my heals until I heard a sploshing sound. I looked down and remembered that I was soaking wet with my clothes plastered against my sides.

" Anyway..." Leo began and carried his 'anyway' for a long time.

" Okay, want do you guys want." I asked as they all continued to stair at me with pleading eyes.

" We're glad you asked." Mikey pointed a finger and winked at me and winked.

" We were wondering if you would, um..." Leo hesitated and was fiddling with his fingers, " go talk to Donnie. For us."

I jumped back a little bit, startled. I didn't know what to say, or what to do.

" Why?" I finally managed to blurt out.

" Well, when you and Lily left," Leo began to explain, " We heard something coming from Donnie's lab. A crashing like noise. We tried to get to him, to talk to him. But he wouldn't respond. Now we know that there's been something going on between you. But you always seem to get through to him..." Leo's voice faded as he finished his last sentence.

I let out a long sigh before responding, " Fine, I'll see what I can do."

" Thanks Taylor!" Mikey shouted a little louder then necessary.

Without a respond, I walked away from the three turtles and towards Donnie's lab. Where he's been for the past three days. I looked back at the turtles before I raised my hand to knock on the giant metal doors. I exhaled loudly before laying my fist on the door. I barely made a sound.

" I can't do this." I whispered to myself and was about to turn around. But the doors slid open. They only opened up a tiny bit, just enough from me to fit through. Then Donnie's arm grabbed me and pulled me into his lab. And the doors closed behind me.

" Taylor, are you hurt? Did you see him? Did he hurt you? What happened?" Donnie shot question after question at me. I was backed up against the door as Donnie was leaning over me.

" Wha-what? Who hurt me?" I stammered. Just hearing the sound of Donnie's voice again made me stutter. Not that I was complaining, but I wondered why he was talking to me. We're suppose to stay away from each other. Then I remembered my conversation with my 'inner voice'. I had to make Donnie hate me.

Donnie back away with eyes stretched wide. He look as if he shouldn't have said something.

" Whe-when you were gone with Lily. Did you meet anyone, at all?" Donnie wondered. He was now standing a few feet away from me.

" No. I didn't meet anyone. Donnie what's going on?" I asked, getting kinda scared. Donnie was acting weird and because of that I decided not to mention my conversation I had with myself.

" Nothing. Nothing, at all." Donnie shook his head as he spoke. But it didn't sound like he was speaking to me.

I took a deep breath in. _**Don't forget our deal. **_My inner voice rang inside my head. Donnie and I stood there in silence. This was the perfect moment to make Donnie hate me. I decided not to question Donnie any farther. Clearly he was hiding something from me, but I am also hiding something from him. Plus I could sense that Donnie didn't want to talk about this anymore.

" Why are you limping?" I asked. I noticed Donnie limping when he backed away from me.

" I, I ran into the door. Trying to open it. It was locked." Donnie rubbed his arm and looked down at the ground.

" Why didn't you unlock it?" I wondered. What was going on?

Donnie gave no answer. I decided that now would be the best moment to bring up what I was about to say.

" Donnie, we need to talk." I began. What am I about to do? The right thing? All I wanted was just one more moment with Donnie. One more happy moment with him, before I do this. But I knew that just one more happy moment with Donnie, that's all it would take for me to drop this and go back to him.

Donnie looked up at me with a crazy look in his eyes. He was beginning to scare me. Has he gone mad?

" I knew it." Donnie gave a little laugh, " I knew that if I waited long enough in here, that you would come back. That it would all be a dream. I knew it wasn't real." Donnie spoke more to himself then to me.

" Donnie what are you talking about." I cried. Why was he acting like this? Three days with no food nor water. Can that really drive someone crazy? No, but love can.

" I knew that we wouldn't last a week without each other." Donnie had a mental tone in his voice, " I knew that you'd come back to me. That we would get back together."

" Donnie, I didn't come here to get back together with you." I told him, the words stung in my throat.

" What?" The crazy look vanished from Donnie's eyes and he looked sincerely hurt.

" I came to tell you..." I swallowed a hard lump in my throat before continuing. I was about to tell him the biggest lie of my life, " That, I... don't _want_ to get back together."

The tears rising in Donnie's eyes was enough for me to stop this. But I didn't, this had to be. For so I was told.

" I'm better off without you." I lied. I wanted to look away but for some reason my eyes were drawn to his. The hurt in them was killing me. It was like I was ripping out his heart, and mine.

" You, you don't mean that." Donnie spoke the truth. But I couldn't let him know that. I was risking it all right now. I was laying our love on the ground and stomping on it. This could be it, our breaking point, if we hadn't already reached it.

" Yes, I do." I choked on my words._ I don't mean it! I don't mean it!_ I screamed in my head. But, Donnie couldn't read my thoughts, " When you lost your memory, it gave me time to think." I was playing my cards dangerously. How was this going to affect Donnie? " I moved on."

And with that sentence Donnie's mouth dropped open in pain as he screamed a silent scream. It was like I was literally ripping him apart, piece by piece.

" I've waited as long as I could. But it took to long." I made up a reason why. I was making this whole thing up._ I don't mean it! Not a single word!_

" But-but I got my memory back. We can be happy now." Donnie pleaded and took one step closer to me.

" No, we can't. When you got your memory back, it was too late. _Your_ too late Donnie." I held back my tears as I spoke. _It's not true._

" But, you've told me that you love me." Donnie pointed out sorrowfully. His eyes were shiny with water.

" I lied, Donnie." I was lying about lying, "I tried to go with this, but I can't do it anymore. We're over, for good!" I slashed my arm through the air, turned around, and walked away.

" Taylor! Wait!" Donnie screamed and reached an arm out towards me. The image of his bloody body flashed in my mind and reminded me why I was doing this.

" No! Donnie, I've done enough waiting." I shouted at him. I had to get out soon, before I fall to my knees sobbing, "I don't love you anymore. And I never will." I almost whispered before I walked out of the room. I hope that worked. Does Donnie hate me now?

" Are you happy now?" I screamed and looked up at the sealing. I was talking to my inner voice.

" Um, yeah. Did you guys talk?" Leo's voice brought me back to reality as I realized that he must of thought I was screaming at him.

" Yeah we did. He just...fell." I told more lies cause I knew that if I told them what really happen, it would just lead to more unwanted questions.

" Oh, well is he okay?" Leo asked.

" Yeah, he's fine." I told him. I was getting a bit anxious just standing here. I felt like I wanted to run away and just cry out my heart. Every pump of my heart ached in my chest and I was starting to regret my conversation that I had with Donnie._ But it was for the better._ I kept saying that in my head, but I knew it was only to convince myself.

Before Leo asked anymore questions, all of our heads turned towards the entrance of our lair. A soaking wet Lily came walking in.

" Lily!" Raph shouted and ran towards her, we followed after him, " Your soaked! And freezing! Where have you've been?"

" I-uh." Lily began and she cast her glance towards me, not knowing how to respond. I gave her a pleading look, begging her not to tell them that I ran off, "I had to stop back at my house before coming here. I told Taylor to go on ahead." Lily nodded her head like she was having just an ordinary everyday conversation. Sometimes Lily can be a good liar.

" Here, you need a blanket." Raph began.

" I really don't think that's necessary Ra-" Lily started but then got cut off.

" Nonsense." Raph continued, " Mikey! Get a blanket."

" On it!" Mikey shouted back at Raph without a question. It was cute on Mikey always does what Raph says without hesitation.

While waiting for Mikey to return, Raph guided a drenched Lily to the couch like a lost puppy.

" By the way he's treating her, anyone would think she's royalty." Leo whispered in my ear.

I couldn't help but chuckle, " C'mon, Raph finally found something he really likes other then fighting, you should be happy for him."

" Yeah, happy." Leo sighed depressingly.

" Are you okay Leo?" I asked, taking noticed of his weird behaviour, " You've been acting weird lately."

" I could ask you the same question." Leo grumbled and walked away. _What's with him?_

I followed Leo to the living room and sat down on the couch, beside Karai, who was sitting there this entire time.

" So what do you guys want to do?" Lily asked through chattering teeth as Mikey returned with the blanket and Raph was wrapping it around her.

" Wanna watch a movie?" Mikey asked. Normally we would be training at a time like this, the turtles and I would rarely ever be board. But we haven't train since Donnie got beaten, which was over four months ago. Splinter found that none of us would be able to concentrate on our training with a passed out Donnie in the next room. And now we just never started up again.

" Kay, but which one?" Karai asked, her arms folded over her stomach. I couldn't help but notice that out of the corner of his eye, Leo was staring at her.

" Avatar!" Lily shouted and nearly unravelled the blanket.

" Didn't we just watch that one, like a few weeks ago or something?" Mikey pointed out.

" Yeah, but I LOVE that movie." Lily almost screamed.

I flinched at the word love. Love, what a stupidly amazing word. Love was the most wonderful thing on this earth, but also the most painful. And unless Lily wanted to drop everything and spend the rest of her life with that movie, it was not love.

_Would you do that for Donnie?_ I thought to myself. _Of course I would. But...I also threw everything away. My last chance with Donnie was gone. He hates me now. And it's all my fault, right from the beginning, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for me._

" Taylor?" Mikey sounded as if he was calling out to me for a long time.

" Huh, what?" I snapped myself back into the real world, putting my worries to the back of my mind. If only that was possible.

" Is Avatar good with you?" Mikey asked.

" Um, yeah sure. You can watch whatever you want, I'm just gonna...go to my room." I got up and walked away. I walked down the hall and into my room. I flew my curtain aside and flopped down onto my bed. A sudden chill ran down my spine and my room felt cold.

_**You did the right thing... **_My inner voice was back.

" Go away." I told it, " Your the last, uh...thing, I want to talk to right now.

_**Why not? Don't you like me? **_

" You kidding? I freaking hate you! You made me do this!"

_**Is was the best thing to do and you know it. **_

" You know I've never liked a guy before now? I was in love," I gave a little laugh as I spoke, not believing what I was saying, "I was finally happy. And you made me take it all away."

_**Well this is better then the vision, isn't it? **_

" I'm sure it is, but it doesn't feel like it." I rolled on my side, "Can you please just leave me alone?"

_**Fine, I'll leave. But I'll be back. **_And with those last words, my inner voice left me and my room suddenly got warm again. _Weird._ I thought to myself. I couldn't allow my thoughts to wander, so to prevent them, I slid out my sketch pad from under my bed and I began to draw.

And that's what I did for the rest of the day. I sat on my and drew till about 12 at night, well I guess technically 12 in the morning. I got up to go get a glass of water before going to sleep. The warm May air was always dry, making me really thirsty.

So I got up and walked out of my room and into the kitchen. I got cup and filled it up with water. I gulped it down with a few sips and set it in the kitchen sink. I walked back into the living room, Karai was asleep on the couch with one arm hanging off of it.

I chuckled. Then I started to walk back to my room. I came to the entrance but before I walked in, something got my eye. Donnie's room. _Was he in there? Did he finally come out of his lab?_ I decided to go check.

I walked a little bit down the hallway before coming to his room. His curtain was still and not a sound came from inside of his room. I moved the curtain aside ever so slightly and peaked in. No one was in here. Donnie's room was dimly lite, neatly tidied and his bed was still made up. Dust floated around and was on every book shelf. No one had been in here for four months, no wonder it was dusty.

I couldn't say that disappointment didn't prick at my stomach when I didn't see Donnie in bed. I was kinda hoping that he would be in his room, fast asleep. But he wasn't. I thought maybe that him being in his room would show me that I hadn't hurt him to much. But a broken heart hurts more then you think.

I sighed and walked back to my room. I fell on my bed and buried myself under the covers. _How long can I keep this up? Living day after day without him. Can this last forever? Huh, forever, that's a long time._

And then it hit me. Since Donnie and I can't get back together, tomorrow will just be another day. _It will be like this for the rest of my life. Will I ever get over Donnie?_ I sighed, _Tomorrow will be day four out of seven. No, day four out of, forever..._

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**Sappy ending of a chapter I know...but I'd figure it was time for one. Right now, I know everything seems weird and out of place, but I had to do it. I had to, because I need something to write about in my third story! Yay! Anyway...hope you don't mind the major plot twist, and please review! :)**


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 26

The smell of sizzling eggs filled the lair as Mikey was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Karai, Leo, Raph, myself, and John were all sitting on the couch waiting patiently for breakfast to be done. We all sat there in silence, listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen until Lily walked in the lair.

" Merry Christmas eve eve eve! Sorry I'm late" Lily shouted as she carried a snowman container in her hands. We had invited John and Lily over to eat breakfast with us. It was about 9 in the morning when Mikey had started cooking breakfast and now it was about nine thirty, so it was okay that Lily was late, " I brought peanut brittle!" I said and lifted up the snowman container.

A very girlish scream came from the kitchen as Mikey came running out of it, "Peanut brittle!" Mikey shouted and ran towards Lily. He grabbed the container out of Lily's hands and nearly knocked her over, "Yum, yum, yummy!" Mikey squealed and threw the lid aside. He reached in for a piece of brittle but Leo ran up and stopped him.

" Not before breakfast Mikey." Leo warned as he put the lid back on the container.

" Please please please please pleeeeaaasssseee!" Mikey got down on his knees and begged. Peanut brittle was Mikey's favourite kind of holiday treat, even though technically it wasn't the holidays.

" No Mikey. Now go finished cooking." Leo grew more stern and glared at Mikey as he sulked back to the kitchen.

Leo handed the brittle back to Lily and both of them went to sit back down. Leo took a seat beside me and Lily beside Raph. John was on the other side of Raph and Karai was at the end of the couch beside John. The two of them had grown close over the pass month or so, it was nice to see John have a liking for something besides comics.

" Hey Raph, you okay? You've been really quiet." Leo pointed out, concerned for his younger brother.

" What I'm not aloud to be quiet?!" Raph snapped and folded his arms over his chest. Lily eyes grew wide with concern and she rubbed Raph's arm. He became less tensed and calmed himself down, "Sorry." He muttered before speaking clearly again, " I-I'm just worried about Donnie. He's been in his lab for days now."

I tensed up a bit. Donnie was in his lab because of me. Guilt stabbed me like a sharp thorn.

"I mean sure he needs some time, but...when will he stop shutting us out?" Raph sounded as if he was about to cry. He obviously was taking it personal that Donnie had locked himself away in his lab.

" Why don't you go talk to him?" Lily suggested kindly.

" Like he'll talk back." Raph huffed.

" Isn't it worth a try?" Lilly added, "Why don't you invite him to breakfast?"

" I guess so." Raph gave in as he got up and walked to Donnie's lab door. Leo and I followed close behind him, "Hey Donnie?" Raph called, " Wa-want to come out and eat breakfast?" Raph paused and looked at Leo then at me. His eyes were round with sadness as he leaned his head and arm against the door, " Please."

No response came from the other side. Hope was fading fast around here. That was, until we heard noise coming from the other side. A few short moments later, the door to his lab slightly slide open. Raph took his arm and head off of the door and looked up, hope now gleamed in his eyes.

The door opened some more until it was fully open and Donnie was standing in the doorway. He looked at Raph then at Leo, but avoided me. I guess I deserved that.

No one said anything. But Raph did rush forward to give Donnie a brotherly hug, but Donnie just moved out of the way and rubbed his arm. Raph looked hurt as Donnie just stared at the ground and continued to rub his arm. No one knew what to say or do next but luckily Mikey's voice rang from the kitchen.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Donnie's head jerked up at Mikey's voice. You could tell by the hunger burning in his eyes that Donnie couldn't wait to sit down and stuff his face with food.

" Come on buddy, let's go eat." Leo smiled at Donnie and Donnie smile back slightly. He, Raph and Leo all walked to the kitchen together. I followed after them but stayed behind a few pastes, I had a feeling Donnie didn't really want to see me right now. Which I guess in a way was a good thing. I had to make Donnie hate me, maybe it worked.

Lily, John and Karai followed behind me and we all took a seat at the table. Well, I didn't take my seat right away, I helped Mikey set the last few dishes on the table. Mikey hadn't realized that Donnie would be joining us for breakfast so he didn't get the extra plate. But when Donnie had entered the kitchen, Mikey's eyes brighten.

So after Mikey and I finished setting up a few extra dishes, we sat down at our regular spots at the table. Except, my regular spot was beside Donnie. So I sat down beside him and I felt him immediately tense up. The awkward tension between us was detectible from across the room, anyone could have notice that.

Mikey served us each two eggs, four pieces of toast and two stripes of bacon. I was never gonna eat all of this, but then again, mutant turtles seem to have more of an appetite then humans. But once we were all served our breakfast and orange juice, we began eating.

It only took me a few bits to realize that Donnie wasn't eating, at all. He did pick up a piece of toast and took a bit, but when he swallowed it, it looked like it was painful. So he put the toast down and continued to stare at his plate.

I looked around the table to see if anyone else noticed but they were all to busy stuffing their faces to realize it. So I just looked back at Donnie. He must of noticed me because he glared at me out of the corner of his eye. I let my gaze drop to the ground.

_Is Donnie okay?_ I thought to myself. I was dying to know if he was alright. I know that probably emotionally he wasn't okay, but what about physically? Why did it hurt so much to swallow? I wanted...needed for Donnie to know that I was worried for him. Sure, I need him to hate me, but I don't want him to think I'm heartless.

I noticed Donnie's hand was near me, only a few inches away. I wanted so much to just reach out and touch, to hold it one more time. Maybe that could be it! My sign to show Donnie that I was concerned for him.

So I slowly reached out my shaking hand and slightly touched his. Donnie tensed up even more, but he didn't move his hand. So I reached in closer and grabbed it. I wrapped my fingers around his and gazed up at him. His eyes stared right into mine, I couldn't help but smile a little bit. Donnie's breaths sped up a bit and his eyes were shifting around.

I was a bit confused by the look of fear and anger in Donnie's brown eyes. He looked down at our hands, holding each other then he looked back up at me. Only a moment or two of silence past between us, all other background noise sounded distant. That was until Donnie violently tore his grip away from my hand and knocked over some juice cups and his plate smashed against the floor, breaking as he stood up. And Donnie's sudden movements made my stool topple over and I fell over with it.

" What are you thinking!?" Donnie shouted at me, enraged, " Taylor, my heart is in pieces because of you! Of what you did yesterday! But now you want to hold hands! You lied to me!"

_Yes! Yes I did!_ Hope suddenly sparked in my system. I did lie to Donnie, I lied about not loving him, I lied about wanting to break up with him. But I had a feeling that Donnie wasn't talking about the same lies.

" Why did you do it!?" Donnie continued to shout, unaware of everyone that was staring at us, horrified, " I thought you loved me! But clearly you don't! Did you ever?!" Tears poured out of his eyes. I hurt Donnie badly.

_Yes! I did! And I still do!_ I wanted to scream my thoughts at Donnie. But I couldn't.

" I-I hate you!"Donnie shouted one last remark but then was so caught up with his emotions that words failed him, he couldn't speak anymore. So he ran away, back to the security of his lab. Overruled with emotions myself, I just sat there on the floor panting. I looked up to find everyone staring at me, waiting for an explanation. Clearly Donnie's little out burst shocked everyone as well.

_What was I going to say? How will I explain this?_ Question after question raced through my mind as my seconds were running out until someone would start asking questions. I stumbled to my feet and ran towards my room. Tears leaked out of my eyes as I toss my curtain inside and sank my face in my pillow.

A cool breeze flew into my room and I knew what was about to come.

_**Missing accomplished. **_My inner voice was back, just as I thought. But I was to upset to talk to it right now.

" Go away!" I screamed at it and raked my arm threw the air like I was chooing away a fly or something.

_**Why? **_My voice taunted me.

" Because I hate you!" I shouted to nothing. My inner voice sounded like an actual person talking to me, not just in my head.

_**Hey I didn't make you do anything. It was all you. **_My voice replied calmly. How could it remain this calm all the time?

" Wasn't me!? How can you say that? If I didn't do this, you were gonna kill them!"

_**You didn't**_** have**_** to listen to me.**_

" Your right! And I shouldn't have! I'm going crazy. I listened to a voice in my head! I ruined everything!" Now I was more angry at myself then anyone else. _Why would I listen to a voice that suddenly appeared 'in my head' one day? Who does_ that?

_**You do that. **_

" Stop reading my thoughts!" I screamed even louder. There was no escaping this voice. It was driving me crazy. " Get out! get out! get out!" I shouted and raked my fingernails down my head and slid off my bed and onto the floor. I pressed my knees close to my chest and bawled my eyes out with frustration. Except each cry was more like a scream then just faded into an actual cry. A cry for help.

The I realized that my room got warmer. _Was my voice gone?_

_Knock knock knock_

I looked up. My curtain was pushed aside and Leo was standing in my door frame knocking. The look on his face told me that he had something to say.

" Taylor?" Leo's voice was soft, but the concern in his ocean blue eyes glowed strong, " Are you okay?"

I just put my head back down on my knees. _No, I'm not alright._

Leo must of got my message because when I didn't respond he came and sat down on the floor beside me. We sat in silence for a few moments. I didn't know if I liked having someone with me right now, or if I wanted to be left alone.

"We heard you screaming you know." Leo began talking, "We were worried about you, so I came to check on you. Taylor, who were you talking to?"

I lifted up my head to look at Leo. I could feel my wet tears run down my face and my eyes were red and puffy.

" Just...myself." I responded when I finally managed to calm myself down a bit.

"It didn't sound like you were talking to yourself." Leo pointed out gently. He wasn't being harsh, or mean or over curious. He was being the guy you could always talk to when your in trouble. That's what I love about Leo, he makes you feel like your never alone.

" I was." I set my head on my knees again. I was unable to continue to stare in his hauntingly blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked and lifted up my head. So I was forced to look at him.

I didn't respond right away. I didn't because I didn't know what to say. Everything was wrong with me, with the world.

My lip began to quiver as I thought more and more on what Leo asked me. I let out a little whimper and layed my head on Leo's shoulder. He instantly wrapped his arms around me for comfort. And that's when I decided that I liked having Leo's company right now.

"I messed up." I told him. I was going to have to tell someone at sometime. I couldn't keep these secrets anymore, "Badly."

"How so?" Leo urged me on.

I took a sharp breath in before speaking, "I told Donnie, that I-I think we should break up." I pause to calm myself down, I didn't want to burst into tears again, "I didn't want him to get hurt again, so I told him that we can try to break up for a week. To see how it goes."

" What do you mean get hurt again?" Leo wondered.

"Well it's my fault he got...tortured, in the first place."

It's not your fault Taylor." Leo sat a back. He was looking straight at me with shock.

" Yes it is! Donnie and I got taken on a rooftop. Why were we on the rooftop? I ran out to the roof top to get some air. Donnie goes to that rooftop too. Why did he go there? Because we had a fight, he went there every day after we had our fight. Why did we fight? Because I started it."

"C'mon Taylor I'm sure-" Leo started but I stopped him midway.

"Every reason traces back to me Leo!...It's my fault."

Leo didn't argue. So I continued.

"So we decided to break up for a week. I...um...was counting the days left. But when Lily and I went shopping, I ran away to the rooftops. Things happened," I decided to leave out the part about my 'inner voice' "And then I went to tell Donnie that we should break up for good. And now Donnie hates me and I'm a total wreck"

"Why did you have to break up for good?" Leo wondered. And without thinking, I responded.

"Because the voice told me too."

"The voice? What voice?" Leo stared at me with pure confusion. I knew that I couldn't back down now. I had to tell Leo.

"There was this voice on the rooftop when I ran away...It told me that I have to make Donnie hate me. If I didn't, bad things would happen. Then it showed me this vision of all of you guys dead. So I did what it told me. And now it keeps coming back. That's also who I was talking to." I explain my 'inner voice' situation.

"So you broke yours and Donnie's heart...because a strange voice told you too?" Leo asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah." I laugh when I spoke. It sounded so stupid when I heard it out loud, "What do I do?" I asked pleadingly. I didn't know what was right or left anymore. I wanted to be told what to do, because all the decisions I make lead to horrible disasters.

"Want my opinion?" Leo asked. I nodded my head in response, "Your stupid for listening to a strange voice and should go back to Donnie. Your obviously meant for each other and shouldn't worry about your strange voice. There's always a way to prevent stuff, so I'm sure that we can prevent your vision."

I laughed a little when Leo spoke. I was stupid for listening to a voice that just suddenly appeared one day. But then a horrible realization appeared in my head.

"It's too late. Donnie already hates me. He wouldn't want to get back together...I lost him." I felt the tears rising back inside my throat.

" Taylor. If I know Donnie. He doesn't hate you." Leo laughed.

" Even if he doesn't. What would I say? How could I make it up to him?"

" Just say what comes to you. People don't plan these things, they just...happen." Leo comforted. He always gave great advise.

" I mean, I want to go back to him. I really really do." I swallowed back my tears, "But I don't want to hurt him again. I thought maybe if I waited long enough, the pain will go away, that time would help take it away. But, I was wrong."

" Taylor, go back to him. You need him and he needs you." Leo stated, "Please."

I hesitated for a moment then decided, "Fine. I'll try. But...Give me some time to think about what to say."

Okay." Leo agreed. Then he got up and left the room. I crawled back on my bed and began to plan out what to say. I told Leo that I'll try and I was going to do that. I was going to use this time wisely. Leo left to give me time to think. He left me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

**Chapter 20...6? 7? I dunno, I even loose track now. Anyway, I have good and bad news. Bad news...this story is almost done. Good news. There WILL be a third story! Yay!...I think. Hoped you enjoyed and please review!**


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